The great thing about Scott was he knew he was dealing an extra sensitive Virgo here, despite how I came across on the outside. He was sure to avoid any comments that could be interpreted as critical remarks. I was already hard enough on myself after being constantly criticized by my first husband. Jerry caused me to be insecure and feel dirty and lose all my self assurance. I was really withdrawn and believed I was useless and unlovable except for sex. Scott's reassurance in all forms helped me feel safe enough to take the next steps in all aspects of my life. My career flourished after I went back to school, and my confidence in my looks and appearance accelerated as I was introduced to physical training and model photography. I learned to use my looks and body in a positive way as well as a sexual one. I could dress the part of any woman, from young shy wife to professional business woman, or I could play the part of a college girl or be the seductive tramp. I practiced perfect hygiene, manicured nails and toes, shaved body hair, and coiffure hairstyles. I was the "girl next door", the trophy wife, and the drop-dead gorgeous administrative assistant all in one.
Yet, I still had a yearning in my loins for cosmic orgasms and fantastic sex! I needed multiple cocks to satisfy my cravings and I loved the attention I got from men. When Scott learned of my past and got me to fully open up to him, he slowly encouraged me to re-experiment with the lifestyle on our terms with no pressures or rush. He assured me he was turned-on by men's desires to have me and encouraged me to dabble in my fantasies and some of his. With a green light to dabble in my desires, how could a woman refuse? My husband thinks I'm hot, but does not consider me a trophy wife at all. He's basically the least superficial person I know. Scott's friends tease him and say that I'm a trophy wife (it's only because I'm blonde, and in the American society, people are obsessed with blondes. (I'm not super hot or anything, just normal). That doesn't bother me either because they know me and know that's not why he married me. It's hard not be incredibly defensive or feel that you have to wear your resume on your sleeve to be taken seriously.
For a while, I purposely tried to down play my appearance, or look like I "was not trying to be attractive" and that I didn't mean to look the way I did, so I wouldn't have to deal with other peoples' judgments. But Scott pointed out that this wasn't fair to me. I shouldn't have to sacrifice myself so other people will perceive me differently. At this point in my life, I have accepted that people will judge me as such and don't go out of my way to change their perceptions. It's unfair and it sucks, but I refuse to compromise myself for other peoples' opinions. Because I'm from a year-round sunshine state though, I've learned to accent my best features. I have green eyes, year-round tanned skin, and a flashing smile. However, my crowning glory is my long blonde hair. It is shoulder length, thick and moves when I toss my head. I do this a lot, especially when I'm seated next to a good looking man. I attend aerobics class and the gym at least three times a week. Slowly, I've built up muscles in my legs and arms which make me feel good, and my husband provides me with the chance to dress up in slinky dresses and show them off.
I work out for at least an hour a day, focusing mostly on cardio with some strength training thrown in for good measure. I try to keep up a natural tan (no sprays or creams) and work on my hair and nails constantly. I have my hair trimmed stylishly, keep it looking full and clean, and regularly get my roots touched up. Whether you like it or not, blondes attract the most attention from men, although it is not essential to be blonde. I get a manicure/pedicure on a weekly basis, as well as periodic massages, facials, and waxing. I always dress stylishly, (keeping up with the times) and wear clothes that flatter my body. In short, I try to look so hot that I turn men's heads everywhere. I became a great listener and don't let my attention wander. I always learn peoples' names and use them throughout my conversations with them. I learned to make conversation effortlessly with anyone, and my husband was proud to take me anywhere. Most of all, I learned to be successful on my own.
I became well educated and was able to stimulate my husband and others intellectually as well as emotionally and sexually. I polished my skills on how to network and organize. Further, I learned how to organize successful lifestyle parties, whether threesomes, couples, or groups. Make sure you and your partner are on equal footing when discussing a threesome. It is best not to arrange a threesome if you've been having recent relationship problems. Have open communication about your intentions for the threesome. You can give suggestions and let your partner go with his own ideas. Agree on gender, age, experience and personality for your third partner. If you can't find a suitable partner, you might consider hiring a professional. You may be able to find one online, at a strip club or through an escort service. Set boundaries and agree on a game plan before beginning your threesome. You may want to reserve certain activities for one-on-one. Decide who goes first. Don't be afraid to experiment, but remember to stick to the agreed game plan. See that each person gets an equal share of the action. Who knows, your partner may find watching is more fun.
One of the greatest dangers of having a threesome is that one or both of you might develop feelings for the third you've chosen to join you. This is why it is essential to choose the right person to fill out your ménage à trois. In order to avoid awkwardness later on, it shouldn't be someone that either of you are close to, but ideally, it shouldn't be a total stranger either. No matter how carefully you choose, however, there is still the possibility that the sex act could lead to unexpected feelings. If the third is a casual acquaintance, it should be fairly easy to separate yourselves from him or her afterwards, and then the feelings should subside. Many couples get into a rut in the bedroom and end up having the same kind of sex, in the same position, at the same time, for the same duration and frequency. This can lead to boredom and resentment. There are many ways to add something new to your lovemaking, but none perhaps so blatant as adding another male to the situation. With another man involved, the permutations and combinations are endless and you'll want to try them all out.
You can truly let your imaginations run wild and try things you never would've considered otherwise. Jealousy is a difficult emotion to overcome, and having a threesome is incredibly likely to push all your insecurity buttons. This can be both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it can be emotionally grueling to attempt to get over the feeling of being threatened or overshadowed while another man is going down on your wife. On the other hand, if you can manage to enjoy the experience without letting jealousy get in the way, you will have grown as a person and not allowed your insecurities to rule, which can lead to a very welcome increase in self-confidence. Threesomes are not for everyone! Both you and your partner must be completely secure with your relationship before you attempt a ménage à trois. Don't try a threesome as a last ditch effort to save your failing relationship unless you're counting on it to be the straw that broke the camel's back.
There are pros and cons when it comes to threesomes, but you'll have a much greater chance of success if you start with honesty, continue with a sense of adventure and act out of confidence, not doubt. After Scot and I were married a year, we had a few threesomes and cuckolds. Our experience has been positive and we have remained married. However, not every couple that had threesomes are as successful as us. The main thing to remember, threesomes involve risk, uncertainty, and just because you have a good experience once, does not mean it will always be the case. In order to have a threesome, both of you need to make a commitment to each to work through the issues, be mature enough not to use the experience against each other, and put aside any jealous feelings. It takes a lot to have sex with someone else while your partner watches, and it takes allot to watch your wife having sex with someone else. Nothing can fully prepare you for that, and it takes a lot of talking to get you to the point where you can cope with it.
If you are able to do that while keeping your lines of communication open, then you are on your way to having a chance at having a successful threesome. My advice is, if you are considering having a threesome, take it slow, talk it through, and do not push each other into it. I believe that sharing a new experience with a partner is just as bonding as two people having sex, just like some believe kissing to be more intimate than the sex itself. It all comes down to trust. Do you trust your partner? Do they trust you? A deep discussion should be had before bringing a third man into the bedroom to avoid any problems during or after. That said, for some couples, a threesome can be the perfect way to add excitement to a relationship. For the right couple taking the right steps, a threesome can be a really positive experience for everybody involved. It can give you a chance to be with somebody without actually cheating; it can let you into a hidden, taboo sexual world; and it satisfies a voyeuristic urge that many people have hidden away.
Letting a third person into the bedroom creates a completely different dynamic; one that can be very exciting for everyone taking part. Whether you go for your neighbor or for the hot guy you came across on an internet dating site really depends on what's right for you and your partner. But no matter who you choose or how you choose them, make sure to discuss all your ground rules with your third party, and assure that he understands what can and cannot happen in the bedroom. That is, if you do it right! Just because you fantasize about a threesome doesn't necessarily mean you should have one. Not all couples are made of the right stuff to last through this sort of experience. Think you have what it takes?