I never understood why people who have jobs that require long periods of time away from their spouse bother getting married. I'm sure that some people have the constitution and will power to crush any carnal desire for great lengths of time, but I can't imagine that there are many of them.
My wife Margaret and I were home bodies. We vacationed together, we worked in the same city, lived in the same house and had the same friends.
A good friend of ours had a wife who was a doctor and she got a six month placement with with a group delivering health care in some god-forsaken country. It was a hard time for the couple. My buddy had plenty of phone calls from his wife for the first month, then it dropped off to once a week, to become every other week. The calls became shorter and shorter. Soon he began to suspect she was losing interest in him and their marriage. When she returned she admitted to having an affair with a young doctor she was working with there. He later found out that this was a common occurrence among the doctors who signed up for these missions. They divorced.
I thanked the almighty that Margaret and I wouldn't have that problem. Until that one day, after the church outreach meeting.
"Paul, the outreach committee is arranging a mission trip to Frobisher Island in the Caribbean. It sounds exciting, they will build basic housing, dig wells, all sorts of great things. It's going to be in February so it will be really warm there and it will still be winter here.
It would be a great opportunity for us don't you think?"
"How long is the mission trip?"
"Two weeks, the organization is working there long term but they welcome various groups of volunteers for two week stretches."
"Two weeks away will be tough. February is a hard time for me to clear my work schedule."
"But it is a wonderful opportunity don't you think?"
"I suppose for some people it is. Not for me though."
I thought that had pretty much settled it until December when Margaret told me that the deadline for booking the mission trip was the end of the week.
"I told you we can't go, I can't take the time off."
"I know you can't go but I can."
"I thought we agreed not to take separate vacations from each other. Why start now?"
"I really feel that this is an opportunity I want to take. It isn't a vacation, it is a mission. We will be working."
"What about your vacation time at work? You only get a couple of weeks. What happens when you and I want to go away together later this summer?"
"I know it's a sacrifice Paul, but I am positive that I am meant to go on this mission."
"What if I said no. Would that stop you?"
"You won't say no. I know you too well."
I walked out of the house and went for long, long walk. When I came back home I cornered Margaret.
"I don't want you going without me and I can't go at this time. If you need to go on a mission then wait until a more convenient opportunity."
Margaret's normally cheerful countenance soured.
"I know you aren't happy about it but I've decided I'm going to go with them. I'm sorry but I feel that strongly."
"Well then, Merry Christmas to you. You have two months to prepare."
Christmas and New Years celebrations were muted to say the least. I thought maybe the holidays would bring us closer together but this mission trip seemed the only thing on her mind.
January flew by.
The night before the mission left we lay in bed together.
"I'm going to miss you Paul. We've never really been apart in our fifteen years of marriage."
"I wish we weren't breaking that trend. I am really uneasy about this whole thing."
"I know, things will be fine. Let's make love for the last time until I come back in two weeks."
We started off well but I started having issues with the dreaded erectile dysfunction. It was going soft. Soon we both realized that this wasn't happening. It upset both of us. Not a great way to say goodbye.
The first phone call came in from the island. Margaret spoke of a good flight and gave a description of the basic quarters they were given. They were living in tents, very basic and not what she was used to or comfortable with, however it was an adventure.
I heard from her every other day for the first week. The second week I heard from her midweek and then the night before they were to fly home.
"Hi Paul, how are things at home?"
"Lonely, I haven't heard much from you."
"We have been very busy and the phone service can be a bit dodgy."
"So are you all set to come home? What time should I pick you up at the airport tomorrow?"
"Actually, I've decided to stay for at least another week. We are doing some important work here and we need time to finish."
"The whole lot of you are staying? How is that possible?"
"No, the others are going to fly out tomorrow. I am staying here to help finish this job."
"Margaret, you should be returning with your group tomorrow. You only took two weeks vacation time. You should be back in the office on Monday."
"I've asked for an extra week. They are giving me the week off without pay."
"Without pay? Why don't you just come back? This project is not your responsibility."
"I'm sorry Paul, but it's important work. I'll keep in touch."
She hung up. I tried to call her back but there was no answer. I was frustrated beyond belief. I phoned the church office to talk to someone in charge of the mission. Nobody in the office had any information. The leader of the mission was on the island with the mission team and they were expected back early tomorrow morning.
This was so atypical for Margaret that it had me worried. She was so adamant that she go on this mission and now she wants to stay later than the rest of the crew.
I showed up at the airport when the others were scheduled to be back. I found the leader and asked to speak to them. They were a bit miffed but when I explained who I was they gave me some time to talk
"Why is Margaret staying behind?"
"I really don't want to get involved in any marital dispute Paul. Margaret told me she wanted to stay behind to help the organization wrap up what we started."
"Why her? What special skills does she have that necessitated her being left behind?"
"She is a forty year old woman, she can make up her own mind to stay or go whenever she pleases. I don't know the specifics, she just said she was staying."
