Mike and Carol had been our married friends for over 10 years. We had vacationed together, attended each other's children's birthday parties, and even celebrated everything from July 4th to Thanksgiving together. Nevertheless we were as shocked as any of our other friends when we learned that Mike and Carol had separated and were seriously considering divorce. My wife Lynne and I fought the urge to "take sides" as we listened to both Mike and Carol recount the problems that had, over time drawn a wedge between them.
Carol, very shapely and with looks which failed to account for all of her 38 years, it seems had married Mike in an attempt to overcome her attraction to women. In college, she had had her first sexual experience with her dominating roommate. The sexual relationship had lasted throughout her sophomore year, ending when her roommate graduated. Carol turned to a string of men and failed relationships before finding Mike. Mike was not exactly "effeminate," but he was kind and caring with a "soft" approach to life. They married and had two children in rapid succession. Carol soon found herself attracted to women and while she never acted on it, her sexual relations with Mike suffered as she felt pulled more and more towards other women. She did not want to end the marriage, but felt as though sleeping with another woman would betray her vows.
Mike was nearly emasculated by the whole situation. He had worked hard to be the "perfect" husband and father. He blamed himself for turning his wife into a lesbian. He questioned his sexual prowess. He felt rejected and betrayed. Carol had kept him in the dark about her yearlong affair in college, and neither Lynne nor I was going to betray her confidence. Mike spent hours in our home just hanging out, and enjoying Lynne's home cooking.
Carol had the kids during the week, mostly because she worked from home. Mike's contact with the kids was limited to every other week-end as his job as an emergency room physician kept him very busy. Mike had always been "Uncle Mike" to our boys, and I had been "Uncle Matt" to his. Perhaps his inability to spend evenings with his own children brought him to our door after his shift was over. He helped the kids with their homework and played hoops in the driveway until bedtime and then headed off to his new apartment.
Carol would bring her boys over on Mike's week-end to work and nearly every Friday night. We soon fell into a routine in which on Friday nights, I would take the boys to the movies and Lynne and Carol would enjoy a "Mommy's night out." Eventually it worked out that on Mike's week-end off he would join us at the movies after work on Friday night and return to spend the night in our guest room as we fellows had a guy's night, and Carol and Lynne would return to Carol's place when they came home for the night. This seemed like a great solution, as it resolved the problem of Carol having to bring the boys back to her place in the early morning hours and kept Lynne from waking our two sons in the process.
At 14 and 16 our boys were old enough to stay at home and I was not very shocked when Lynne insisted that we go out for brunch at IHOP. However, I was soon to be very shocked when Lynne blushed as she informed me she had something to tell me.
"Lynne, we have never had secrets from each other, and we have been married a long time. You can tell me anything without having to worry." I said, trying to relax her and ease her into opening up.
"I know that Matt, but I just have to work up the nerve anyway." Lynne still seemed hesitant to tell me what was on her mind.
"Well, I know that the car is not wrecked. Did you get a ticket Friday night?" I searched for something that could account for her hesitancy.
"The car is not wrecked, I am just afraid I have wrecked our marriage!" Lynne blurted out.
"Wrecked our marriage, what are you talking about?" Now I was stunned.
"Darling, please do not be angry with me." Lynne had a pleading look in her eyes.
"Angry? About what? Baby, I have no idea what you are talking about! What is going on, what could you have done to wreck a 18 year marriage?" My mind raced.
"I had sex with Carol" Lynne blurted out. Now I really was amazed. Lynne had always been horny after any sex video with "girl-girl" action. But she had never discussed any sexual attraction to other women. Now I understood why, and was thankful that, Lynne asked we be seated in a rather secluded end of the restaurant. She knew I would not make a scene in public. I was too stunned to be argumentative.
"You had 'sex with Carol?' How did that happen? I mean what did she do? I mean did you want too?" I stammered to get the words out.
"Do you want the play-by-play? Aren't you mad? Honey, I cheated on you and I have not been felt right since then. Carol feels badly as well." Lynne looked disappointed that I was not angry, and angry that I was asking for details.
"Look, I just want to understand what is going on." I confessed.
