This is a continuation of Michelle's Continuing Affair. In order to understand this story, you'll need to read those first. Again, thank you very much to Nicki Taylor for help with editing.
Mike left for Seattle Sunday morning after breakfast. Shortly after he left, Michelle and I sat down to talk about the weekend. "Honey," Michelle started, "I need to know, what are you really thinking about me and Mike?"
I paused for some time, trying to think how to answer her question. "Babe, there hasn't ever been anything hotter than watching you and Mike together, especially last night. I don't know how to explain it more than we've already talked about, but I can't get over the thrill of you having sex with Mike. If you're wondering if I still want you to see him again, then the answer to that is absolutely yes!"
"Sweetheart, what would you say if I told you I wanted more?"
I looked at her a bit quizzically wondering what she meant. "What do you mean more?"
She was kind of biting her bottom lip, like she did when she was nervous about something, "Mike and I talked before you got here Saturday morning. I'd like to actually date him, you know, like boyfriend and girlfriend."
I looked at her, concerned at what she was telling me. Somehow this was scaring me a little bit, even more than the intimate love making I had seen. "So how would that work exactly, Mike is in Seattle, you're here. What would it mean for you and me? Where's it eventually going?"
She almost started crying, "Sweetheart, I don't know all the answers. Mike isn't taking anything away from how I love you, but we really care for each other and want more than just an occasional fuck."
I'm thinking to myself how to respond to this, isn't this what I had secretly been wanting all along? I want her to care for him. It's exactly what I had told her not long ago about the emotional waterfall. She's getting closer and closer to the edge, that makes that 'occasional fuck' more and more meaningful and better for her. And at this point, even as powerful as my jealousy toward him was...and even my fear of losing her, that strong drug addiction was even more powerful than my fears, it was like a moth to a flame, even though I knew I could be destroying myself, I couldn't bear to have her stop seeing Mike. How do I explain it to her, when I don't understand it myself?
As I've said before, Michelle and I are experiencing a fantastic sex life right now...sSo why my urge for her to be with Mike? Maybe because he's the big reason for that fantastic sex life. Before he came into our lives we had settled into fairly routine sex. Since January 1st, when Michelle first told me about Mike we rarely skip a night making love, except during her monthly. Maybe I'm afraid that if Michelle loses that connection with Mike, our sex will return to be as mundane as it had been. And I had to admit to myself, I felt that Michelle having sex with Mike justified me having a sexual relationship with Jacqui, which I definitely didn't want to give up, now that I had experienced her that first time.
"Babe," I whispered to her, "Make whatever arrangement with Mike you need to. All I ask is that you always come home to me. I love you," even though the thought in the back of my mind kept trying to surface,
what if one time she doesn't come home?
Even though it's scary, There's something so sexy about Michelle having her independence dating Mike. And, I guess, especially that I won't know what she's doing with him...and too, the incredible chemistry between her and Mike.
"Thank you honey, I love you too."
I noticed she didn't say that she would always come home. Was that intentional? Or simply something she didn't think she needed to say?
"And what about Jacqui? You can date her too, you know."
That was another thing I couldn't help but wonder about a little bit. Was Michelle setting me up with Jacqui just in case? I was afraid to ask her that question. But I also couldn't help but want to see more of Jacqui, she seemed too good to be real. I started to daydream, thinking of her beautiful body and what it had been like to make love with her.
When I didn't respond to Michelle's suggestion that I could date Jacqui, she mentioned it again, "Why don't you see if she'd like to learn to square dance? We can take her to the lessons Friday nights, then if you want to, you can drop me off and take her to dinner...or something else."
I looked at my wife straight in her eyes, "And if I didn't make it home Friday night, would you be OK with that?"
Michelle looked at me just as intently, "Yes."
"You do understand the chemistry between me and Jacqui is positively incredible?
"Yes, and I like that it is."
I knew that Michelle kept in pretty constant contact with Mike, although she didn't share any of the details with me. That's what independence means, she doesn't have to share it with me. From some of her grins and giggles when she was texting and I was there, I suspected she and Mike were likely sexting to each other.
Jacqui and I talked and texted quite a bit as well. It was hard to see her since she had to work until after nine nearly every day, then was tired after work. I asked her if she would like to come to the square dance lessons with us and she was enthusiastic about that, sounded like a lot of fun to her. Her problem was that it's on Friday nights which are always busy at the store and she had taken the Friday before off to be with me, so wouldn't be able to for a couple weeks.