Michelin Man

Thanks to the Hip and Knee Doctor for editing assistance.

*****

My name is John Turrell. I am thirty nine years old, married, and have sixteen-year-old twin sons. I have been a heavy equipment operator for the past twenty years, and enjoy my work while making good money. My marriage sucks.

It is Friday, and it is raining buckets, so that means no work today. I am standing just outside one of the entrance doors to the Green Dragon Farmers Market watching my wife, Marsha, and her boyfriend digging through one of the knickknack stands just inside. My heavy rain parka makes it almost impossible to identify me without looking directly into my face, but I still remain outside. I have been following them for the last thirty minutes. No kissing, but lots of hand holding and hugs. A sudden flurry of excitement indicated that they found something interesting. She held it up in front of him and smiled. A white puffy looking Michelin tire man key chain. She couldn't get the money out of her purse fast enough. I watched as he put the new prize on his key ring and she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. After thirty more minutes they meandered back to the parking lot. They were half way back to Reading, when both of them pulled into the Sunset Motel. I got the license plate number off of his F150 and then went home, stripped off my rain gear, and had a Black and Tan.

I was large all my life. Not fat and flabby, but not hard and muscular either. I was not particularly good looking either. I didn't fit in anywhere. Can't say I ever had a girlfriend and never had a date until senior prom. Marsha Blanchard fell into the same social category that I did. She was overweight and flabby. She had acne and suffered from a severe shortage of grooming skills. Her wardrobe consisted of hand-me-downs and Walmart specials. When I asked her to go with me to the prom she was thrilled. She had pretty much given it up as a lost cause.

Things progressed normally from there and we were married within the year. I was deep into heavy equipment training and Marsha was barefoot and pregnant. Everything seemed to stabilize after the birth of our twins. We soon had our own house, two cars, and a comfortable lifestyle. There were two major changes however. The more I worked the stronger and firmer I got. Unfortunately I still looked the same. Marsha did tease me about it a bit. In her case, it was totally different. Marsha got a ten dollar a month gym membership and used it regularly. She taught herself how to do her hair and makeup. She jogged daily.

That is when the problem started. We were no longer a pair. She was now a hot chick saddled with an ogre. Over the years, she seemed to lose her enthusiasm for sex and anything else remotely romantic. The relationship was becoming platonic. The boys were coming up on seventeen when I decided to look into things. That is what I was doing today.

"Hi Honey! What are you doing home? Never mind. I got it . The weather." She was jabbering as she walked through the mud room door. She plopped the two canvas shopping bags full of fresh vegetables on the table. "The market was jammed today. I couldn't find any of that white corn that you liked." She was nervous. She talked a lot when she was nervous. I just smiled and nodded my head.

"I am going to get out of these wet clothes and grab a quick shower. I'll be down to start supper in a second. Are the boys home yet?"

I smiled again and nodded my head to indicate 'no'.

I wasn't purposely trying to be a smart ass. I just didn't feel very sociable. Actually, I was on the verge of tears when the boys burst through the door. I had gotten them an older CJ jeep when they turned sixteen. I felt that it would be both fun and safe. Anyhow, they loved it.

"You know you would stay a lot dryer if you put the canvas on that thing."

"Yeah Dad, we know, but that ain't no fun." Their grammar sucked.

They shucked their boots and coats before heading upstairs for showers. Why didn't I think of that. I was sitting there still wet from my afternoon out.

Supper conversation was normal, but I was not in the mood to participate. Marsha ask me if something was wrong and I just said I was tired.

I had a few friends in low places so I was able to track down my wife's paramour without trouble. Todd Langford was thirty-five years old, single, and still living with his parents. That explained why they used the motel. He worked as a forklift operator on the 4:00 p.m. to midnight shift at Acme Boot. This company had moved into town about six years ago and was in one of the old Penske buildings down by the Schuylkill river. Todd had previously been married and divorced. With the boys in school and me at work, Marsha had her afternoons free to spend with her lover.

It happened so gradually that I didn't realize it, but I started spending more money on beer. I was depressed as hell, but I never let it show. That was a trait that I developed growing up. The gradual increase in beer consumption was noted by my wife and she mentioned it on several occasions and then stopped. Sex with Marsha had become so devoid of any type of emotion that I lost interest altogether. I didn't lose interest in sex, just sex with Marsha. I would stay up past our normal bed time sipping on a brew, while waiting until I felt she was asleep. I didn't put a tap on her phone or the computer, but I did install a GPS in her car. I didn't constantly track her, but reviewed her daily trips in the evening on the computer. Todd must be getting a discount rate at the Sunset Motel because they visited several times a week.

Marsha and Todd continued their relationship.

For the next two years our family life became dull as hell. There were no vacations, no weekend trips, and not even any nights out. Marsha brought it up several times, but quickly dropped the subject when she detected my negative reaction. I had put aside ten percent of my wages for retirement since we were married. I quietly moved that into a new account at another bank. I had also put away money for the boy's college fund. In two months, they would both be graduating and then I got another surprise; Robert was going into the Air Force and Roland had decided on the Coast Guard. I added the college fund money to my new account. It was at about that time that I broke the code. Marsha and Todd were probably waiting until the boys finished school to give me the bad news. I figured I had to do something in the next 60 days.

And then Hazel came.

Hurricane Hazel was a freak of nature. Such storms were rare in our area. They were rare at this time of the year and they were usually downgraded to tropical storms by the time they got here. All the government offices and most businesses had closed.

As a member of the county emergency rescue squad, I was on call for assistance as necessary. Luckily, I had the Jeep, but it was still far from weather proof. Marsha was not happy about me wandering off into the weather, but I had a plan. Robert and Roland were volunteers at the local shelter, so I dropped them off on the way to my destination.

The radio had been announcing all the closings throughout the day. There was still no word from Acme Boot. The rains had preceded Hazel for the last two days so all the streams, rivers, and low areas were flooded. I parked in the back of the Acme Boot warehouse, near Todd's truck, and watched as the shift employees sporadically left. The Schuylkill River on the South side of the parking lot was raging by this time. Finally, I could see Todd approaching. His head was down and he was leaning into the wind trying to keep his balance as he made his way to the truck. I knew that I had kept that old aluminum Tee Ball bat for something.

I only bashed him once as he got his keys out. I guess I hit him harder than I thought. It was not my intent to kill him, but being a bit inexperienced I might have overdone it. Oh well. It was too late now. I grabbed his feet and dragged the body toward the roaring river. The river bank was not normal, but man-made out of old concrete and asphalt chunks. After tripping and stumbling, I finally got close enough to lower his body into the water. For a moment, it just floated there and all of a sudden the current grabbed and pulled him under. He was gone in a few seconds.

I went back to recover the Tee Ball bat and saw the key chain on the ground by the door. I smiled as I picked it up. I threw the bat into the river and noticed that it floated rather than sunk. I guess it was hollow. Twenty minutes later, I was working with the boys at the shelter. Two days later, Hazel was gone.

Todd Langford was found three days after that, about fifteen miles downstream. It was officially declared a storm-related death. Naturally, Marsha was devastated, but could not say anything or even express the degree of grief that she was feeling. I remained stoical. She spent the next week at her mother's house.

While Marsha was gone, I spent all of my time preparing to leave. I wasn't going to get a divorce for several reasons, but the main one being that I never intended to marry again. My credit score would take a giant hit, but that didn't matter anymore either. Todd was gone and there was no way in hell that I was going to be her fall back guy. Up until she met Todd, I was always her first: first boyfriend, first lover, first husband. I would not be second now.

Robert left for Lackland and Roland was gone two days later. Marsha and I were all alone and there was no warmth or reconciliation of any type. As odd as it may seem, there was never any confrontation or discussion about our drifting apart. She had no reason to distrust me and she had no reason to believe that I knew about her and Todd. I guess she knew that I was unhappy, but she didn't know why and didn't want to ask. I spent all day Monday finalizing everything.

I left her power of attorney for both cars and the house. There was still thirteen years left on the mortgage that she would not be able to afford. Marsha never had a job and had no real job skills.

On top of the papers, I placed my wedding ring and a small Michelin Tire Man key chain, but no keys. I left her a thousand dollars in the bank. I am sure she would be able to put two and two together.

I had no idea why I choose to take the jeep.