I had always been in love with Mia. She grew up just a few doors down from me. We went to the same schools, lived on the same street, had the same friends. Even our moms were best friends.
Then she met Eddie. Ninth grade, first week of school. He had moved to Brooklyn from the Bronx. He was a tough guy, proved it the first day. Took out three mooks, that were trying to feel up Mia. If I had been there, I would have taken them on. Of course I would've gotten my ass kicked.
She was his from then on. All through high school, I watched from afar, as she fell deeper in love with Eddie. We even double dated a lot, I liked Eddie, I was just jealous of him.
We were together the night Eddie took her cherry. I got Bethany's at the same time. I didn't really like Bethany, but she was mad about me. I was thinking of Mia as I took her cherry.
Eddie and Mia were in the other queen size bed in the motel room. I was kinda surprised when Eddie dropped his boxers. He was only 4, maybe 41/2 inches, completely boned up. Maybe that's how he could get angry enough to take out three guys. I could see in Mia's face, she was a little disappointed. She even gave my 71/2 incher a hard look.
Still, she loved him, and they eventually got married. He and I went to the police academy together. Six months after graduation from the academy, they married in a big ceremony. I moved out of my parents house that same week. They got a place just a few blocks from me. We were still good friends. Soon though I started to see less of them.
After their daughter, Amy, was born, I would see even less of them. Eddie and I were partners, but I wasn't invited over as much. We would still stop for a beer after our shift, maybe once a week or so. I could tell we were drifting apart though. I tried to put it down to the fact that they were parents now, and had other friends that were parents too. But something was amiss. I could just feel it.
One night, when Amy was 3, after our pub stop, Eddie and I walked home. He always bought Mia a flower at the bodega on the ground floor of my building. Whatever fresh flowers they had that day, he would bring one to Mia. We said good night in front of the bodega, and I went on up to my forth floor apartment.
I had just finished climbing the stairs and opened my door, when I heard gunshots. By the time I reached the bodega, Eddie and the clerk were dead.
The detectives decided that Eddie had interrupted a robbery in progress, and got killed for it. I didn't agree. Eddie hadn't even drawn his weapon. There was cash in the register. When I pointed this out, they said the robbers got scared and ran after shooting Eddie, without taking the cash. I also told them I had already made it to the forth floor, before the shots rang out. Something didn't add up.
When the medical examiners report came out, I was sure I was right. The report said that the clerk had been dead at least an hour before Eddie. A whole fucking hour, and they didn't get the cash? Right. I believe that bull shit. The clerk had his throat slashed, not shot. Seemed to me, someone killed the clerk and waited for Eddie to show up.
At the funeral, Mia was a wreck as you can imagine. She cried on my shoulder the whole time. I wont lie, the thought that I might have a chance with Mia had crossed my mind. Ok, more than just a fleeting thought. I hoped I could take Eddie's place.
Mia stayed with her parents for a couple of weeks after the funeral. I would go by after my shift and give her support. Let Mia cry some more, play with little Amy, just general friendly stuff. I could tell that Mia was softening to me. I had decided to be there for her, when the time came to move on.
The first Saturday after the funeral, I took Mia and Amy to the park. Amy was playing with a puppy, that a couple had out for a walk. Mia was upset again, and wanted to tell me something. I could tell she was struggling with weather or not to unburden herself with whatever it was.
She just kept starting to say something, then would burst into tears again. Finally, she said "Look, Tony, I really like you. If it weren't for Eddie, I would have been with you a long time ago. But things are different now." I waited for her to continue, knowing there was much more to follow.
It was then that Amy ran over and grabbed Mia around her legs. Mia bent to pick her up, and said "I really can't explain everything to you, but believe me when I say, you don't need me in your life right now. I'm sorry. I have to go." and she turned and left.
I don't know if it was the cop in me, or the feelings I had for Mia, but I wasn't about to let this drop. Sunday, after church, I asked Mia's mother to take Amy home, so I could take Mia for a much needed break. She was delighted, I think she knew there was more going on than just a dead husband too.
Mia and I went to a small diner for lunch. I kept pressing her to tell me what was up. She was hesitant at first, but finally came out with it all.
"Tony, you don't want me. I'm not the same little girl you grew up with. You don't know what I've done. You would never understand why. Eddie was not the guy you knew either."
I held her hand and reassured her, that she could tell me anything, and I would not think less of her.
"You went to gym with Eddie back in high school. You saw him at the police locker room and such, didn't you ever notice anything about him?"
I hoped she wasn't talking about, what I thought she was talking about, so I just nodded.
"Then you know that he was not gifted in a manly way." My mind went immediately to 'That Night'... No, Eddie was definitely not gifted. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, hoping to avoid further conversation in this area.
"Not only was he packing a Derringer, it had a hair trigger too. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't complain. I loved Eddie. I would have stayed with him, even if he didn't get me off, which he didn't. Eddie was a kind, gentle, generous, caring, man.
"Even back in college, he wasn't a good lover. You remember that night, you were still fucking Bethany the first time when he went off a second time, and quit."
