Date: September 3, 1995
Bud and I started dating when we were sophomores in high school. We went to the same college together, married after we graduated. We have a nice home, but Bud does not want children.
Our home is outside the city limits. I don’t have any girlfriends nearby. I can not get Bud to take me to the movies, or even out to eat. Dancing? Not in the last three years. Bud is a good dancer. We danced together in school. But now he works, and then comes home. Period.
Things have to change, or I’m going to file for divorce. That is how drastic this problem is.
Oh, I should mention that when we have sex, it is good. Bud complains that once every two weeks is not enough.
Here comes Bud in now.
“Bud, have you seen today’s paper?”
“Yes, Honey. Why do you ask?”
“Did you notice that their having the Policeman’s Ball in three weeks?”
“No. Don’t pester me about going.”
Raising my voice. “Damn you, Bud. It is time for you to take a look at yourself. You owe me some fun times, something that I want to do. You owe me.”
As Bud turned my way, his face was beet red. “Owe you? Owe you?” Screaming now, “You mean that I should take her majesty out so she can display her body, tits, and face to everyone, Yaw, there goes lucky Bud. He gets to sleep with her. Lucky Bud, who gets sex only two God damn, motherfucking, son-of-a-bitchen nights a God damn month. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. You’re a kid in a woman‘s body.”
Sobbing, I ran upstairs, slammed the bedroom door behind me, throwing myself onto the bed. Never before had Bud turned on me like that. After I settled down, one thing he said ran over and over in my mind. “You’re a kid in a woman’s body.”
What did he mean by that? Was that the key to his taking me out?
Pouting. A woman has to pout. I started downstairs. Whoa. Kids pout. I let my face soften.
“Can we talk, Bud?”
Looking at me to see what face I was wearing, and trying to determine how I had taken his comments, Bud said to me. “Yes Betsy, we can talk.”
“If we each change, maybe we can be happy?”
“It would take a lot of changes, Betsy.”
“Like what?” I was expecting that he would want sex once a week, or maybe even have me give him a blow job.
“If you are serious, I have some things for you to read. It will take a couple hours of your time.”
“Okay.”
He brought up on the computer a site called “Literotica.” Soon, he had on screen the list of the “Loving Wives” top stories.
“I want you to read the first twenty-five stories. You are to consider what these women do for there husbands. Make a list of five daring thing that you are willing to do to arouse me. If you come up with a list, and then do the things on the list, indicating that you are willing to become a real woman, I will happily take you to dances, or whatever, that you wish to go to.”
As I begin to read, a thought came to mind. I had been shopping with Elaine Donaldson, a local girl, who I had known for years. She saw Bud coming down the street. Turning to me, she had said, “Betsy, I’ll bet you have no idea how many women would like to steal Bud away from you. He is one gorgeous hunk of man.”
I frowned as I also thought that he was very successful. His income last year was eighty-three thousand dollars. Perhaps I had been playing with fire when I demanded that things go only my way.
Oh, my God! The “Literotica” stories were not a how-to for husband and wife sex. No, they were far more exotic, more adult. These women were flirting, playing sex games, even sleeping with other men, sometimes right in front of their husband, with their husband’s approval. Is this what Bud wanted? When I got to the twenty-first story, I found out exactly what my husband was thinking. It was called, “Last Chance For a Cold Wife.” The story had an eerie ring to it. When I checked the writer’s profile, I knew why. The e-mail address of the writer was Bud’s.
In the story, it was not a dance that caused the wife to come to the husband wanting to know what she could do to save their marriage. It was the husband having an affair. The wife had agreed to five things to prove she is really a woman who wanted to preserve their marriage. I read and reread the five thing at least twenty-five times.
1) Wife will go to any bar/club of her husband’s choosing for a period of two hours from time to time. While there, she can not say no.
2) The wife will allow an ad to be placed in a swinger site asking for men to meet with her for sex. She is to meet with one new man each month. She is to tell the husband the details of the meetings.
3) The husband will pick out the clothes for her to wear on these occasions.
4) The husband agrees not to have any affairs, but he may have sex with any strange women he meets who resides more then fifty miles from his home.
5) Should the wife take a job, she is to agree to having sex with her boss, or any of the clients that the boss wants her to.
Bud had not missed a trick when he wrote his story. His story was written July 13th. I had mentioned to him on the 8th that I was considering taking a job with Herman Brown Imports. I had interned for the company when I was in college. Mr. Brown had offered me a position paying very well. Recently, he had phoned, again asking if I was interested. I had said to Bud, “I would love to take that job. Except that one of the older woman warned me that he would expect me to have sex with him, and some of his customers.”
Right in front of me, in black and white, was Bud’s reaction to that. He wanted me to be taken by Mr. Brown. He wanted Mr. Brown to take me to meet with some client. He wanted them to take me to a hotel room. He wanted them to have their way with me. Their way with me? I was shaking. I had always been totally in control. Their way with me…
That’s what this was all about. I had it now. If I let all these things happen to me, there was no doubt in Bud’s mind that he could have sex with me when and how he wanted it. He wanted me to experience all sorts of sexual situations, so that I would become a savvy, experienced, woman. Their way with me!
Sitting there in the quiet of his den, with Bud in the living room, it seemed so easy, clean, neat. That’s all that I had to agree to. That’s all.
I typed the five conditions, word for word. Under the heading, “I dare to:”