It was a large project and it had been occupying all my time for almost a year and when I say all my time I mean just that. I worked until late at night and I brought work home with me to do on weekends. The survival of the company I worked for, and by extension, my survival, depended on the project being finished on time and on or under budget.
My wife was not happy.
The thing I heard most was "Bullshit. You can find a job anywhere else you want to," and that was probably true, but it would also have meant starting over at sixty percent less pay and benefits and throwing away the sixteen years that I had invested in my job. To me that would not have been a rational decision, but then rational decisions and my wife Marty cannot coexist in the same room.
It did not matter to Marty that I was busting my ass for our future financial security. All that mattered to her was:
- You never take me anywhere any more.
- You never spend any time with me.
- I'm tired of being here with nothing to do except watch TV.
- All you ever think about is that stupid job.
- When you are home you are always too tired to do anything with me.
- You like what is in your briefcase more than what is in this dress.
Finally, after several months of her harping I lost it. It had been a very bad day. A couple of deliveries not made on time; one delivery came in not to specs and had to be refused, one man lost for at least two weeks to an occupational injury and one of my best men had quit. I walked in the door and hadn't even set my briefcase down before Marty started in on me. It was the final straw.
"Shut the fuck up Marty. If your life is so fucking bad just pack up and get out. Go find yourself some twit that can't even come close to making his salary match your spending habits. You didn't mind my job when it made the money that got you this house and everything in it. Now I'm working the same job trying to make sure we keep all of it and I don't want to hear another fucking word from you about it."
Marty just stared at me for a minute and then she said, "Okay Bill, if that's the way you want it, but I'm going to take the last word here. Last weekend you told me that you were too busy to go to John's party and you told me to go by myself if I needed to get out of the house and so I did. You know who else was at the party Bill? Ron Holbrook, Harry Short and their wives. The names ring a bell Bill? Ron is your supervisor I believe and the last I heard Harry still owned the company you work for. They can relax and take their wives to parties and have a good time and you can't? There is something wrong with that picture Bill. Either something is going on that you are not telling me or they are playing you for a chump."
"No one is playing me for a chump, and..." Marty held up her hand to stop me.
"Here's the deal Bill. You go ahead and be their slave, but I'm not going to stay cooped up in this house while you do it. Get used to me not being here in the evening because I'm going to have a life. Dinner will always be ready, the house will always be clean and the laundry will be done. But while you are in your home office or working late at the job site I'm going to be out enjoying myself."
Then she turned away from me and walked into the kitchen. I didn't waste my time trying to explain to her that Ron had already announced he was retiring at the end of the project whether it succeeded or not. And that Harry was a multi-millionaire and that the company's closing it's doors only meant more time available for him to jet to Aspen or wherever. She wouldn't, or couldn't, understand that I was working for my future, not some one else's.
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The next day was Friday and when I got home I found Marty getting dressed to go out. She already had her heels and hose on and was just slipping into her dress when I came into the bedroom. I watched for a bit and then said, "Going out?"
"Yes."
"Where?"
"I don't know yet. Mary and Robin are going to pick me up and then we are going some place where we can dance and have a good time."
"Do you really think that's a good idea?"
"I don't see a problem."
"Are you considering the message that you will be sending out? A married woman out by herself and letting men come on to her."
"I won't be alone. Mary and Robin will be with me and you are more than welcome to join us, but I'm not staying home again and watching TV while you go into your home office and work. As far as the message that the wedding rings will send, I can always take them off and leave them here on the dresser if it will make you feel better. How about it?"
"No, leave them on."
"Not that silly, I would never take them off and you should know that. I meant would you like to join us?"
"I can't. I have to revise a couple of sets of specs so I can Fed-Ex them to the supplier."
"Okay. I have no idea how the night is going to go so don't bother to wait up. The bars close at two so I should be home by three unless the evening is a dud."