Chapter 4
I pulled up to the front of our house. I was shocked by what I saw, although I should have expected it All of my possessions were in a pile at the curb. My clothes were thrown in a pile on top of the trash can. My pictures...pictures of us...my decorations and everything that was important to me was sitting on the curb.
It had obviously not been here very long because it did not appear to have been picked through.
It was 10 am and the sun was bright outside, washing everything in it's warming glow.
I was wearing a pair of shorts and a t shirt. Nothing special. Walmart grade actually, but the sun felt good and Walmart clothes were not unheard of in our neighborhood.
I knew my husband would be at work. He worked 7 to 4:30 unless there was optional or mandatory overtime. He worked hard and deserved better than I had given him. I was ashamed of what I had done, and more than that I was appalled at how low I had sunk.
I had become a prostitute in very short order.
I went to the front door and tried my key. It didn't fit the lock. He had changed them
I went to the back door. No go.
My last shot. I tried the bilco door to the basement and, as always, it was not locked from the inside. I lifted the door and went inside, lowering the door behind me. I flipped on the light switch and went to the stairs.
The door from the basement into the house was not locked. It never was.
So, I was in.
Now, how to handle this.
We were still married and I had not been served any kind of papers so we were still married and I had not been served a restraining order, so I could be here. If I just brought my stuff back in and acted like nothing had happened, it would be a bad mistake.
So, I went out the front door and began to load all of my belongings into the car The back seat, the trunk and the passenger seat were all filled.
Then I went into the house to clean up and wait for my husband.
A warm shower felt nice but I put the same clothes back on and made some lunch.
Should I make dinner for him? No, that would seem like I was trying to force him to talk to me over dinner. I didn't want to force him at all.
So, I waited.
5 pm came and went and he still didn't come home. Then 6, then 7. Hours passed and I wondered where he was. Had he already moved on and replaced me? I didn't think he could have done that so quickly. I know he loved me. Yet I had violated that love and trust so badly that maybe in anger he had moved on.
But it just didn't feel right.
And then about 11:30 I saw his lights pull up to the front of the house. I sat up straight on the couch and waited for him to come in.
Suddenly, the door burst open and he appeared malevolent as he came in the house.