"All husbands secretly want their wives to be unfaithful to them.'
Howard Jacobsen "The Act of Love"
Those who have followed my thread of my married sexual relationship since last summer will understand my enjoyment in sharing my wife with another man, which I have done three times. Each was an erotic masterpiece of exquisite agony and ecstasy -- sexually sharing a precious partner with another is delicious and frightening. Watching her lay back and open herself to him, to allow him to penetrate her, to reach inside her deepest parts leaving his seed inside is utterly and agonisingly wonderful. Then to enter her myself, to feel her heat and liquid wetness, to fuck the competing seed back out of her with each thrust, to reclaim her body and soul has been the key to so much erotic pleasure: reclaiming her heart, and pushing him out of her body in all ways.
Except, writing down my recollections last summer here on Literotica opened up whole new avenues for me trying to understand my fetish and the intensity of my feelings around sharing Kate and fantasising about it at every opportunity.
I started to feel that my perception of love of 30 years is inseparable from the fear of loss or abandonment; and having accepted that the feeling of loss or abandonment as the a conclusion of love, I now have learnt to court it. I am turned on by betrayal, but I seek to control the betrayal, I relish the cuckoldry as a voyeur in our own bedroom. Kate has always said that I am never more sexually alive than when imagining that she is fucking somebody else.
Where this feeling comes from interested me and bothered me in equal measures. Was it in fact a peculiarly perverse sort of emotional masochism, or a underlying homoerotic desire for the third man?
So, last September, after I recorded our sexual past here on Literotica, I went to see a psycho therapist, a woman psych, who I laid this story before in a search of my own self-understanding.
This psych explained that I was not unusual in my desires. She was in no way surprised and highlighted that we live in a highly "pornified" sexual landscape, and men can't help but be influenced, by some process of osmosis, the no-holds-barred reality of sex they see projected in front of them in pornogrpahy. It follows that repeated exposure to such exaggerated sexual responses and activities would lead them to include fantasies of their own wives being involved in such boundless, ecstatic sex.
When a heterosexual man imagines his wife with other men, visualizing her breaking their marital vows for his sexual gratification, there's a lot going on that might be called 'transgressive.' Willingly imagining himself as a cuckold, and yet fully in control of his own cuckoldry, brings with it a sense of the 'forbidden', which is sexy in itself, in the outrageousness of it.
The wife as an object of sex has an appeal for a vast number of men, and particularly attractive is the thought of someone having sex with here without abandon, without control, cementing her as a purely sexual entity, desired by many, but, when all is said and done, still belonging to him. In this mindset, the fantasy of his wife being lusted after by other virile men, perhaps more virile than him, bestows a kind of power on him over those men.
It's almost like showing off. To men who fall into this category, the thought of passing his wife round to another man, or men, is like handing the keys to his new Ferrari to another for a test drive in the knowledge that the man could never have it for himself.
