I lean against the doorframe, watching William and Lyra finally sleep. Tonight was my turn for bedtime. After one tantrum, two children's books, one emergency bathroom run, and one final story, they are curled under the covers.
Eight years ago, when Nicholas and I were told we were having twins, I was terrified. It felt like I was barely ready for one child, let alone two at the same time. My fear turned into shock when, after giving birth, we discovered they were fraternal. Now, looking at the covers lift and drop, the cat night light softly glimmering on the nightstand, and a warm light breeze blowing through the slightly open window, I can't imagine my life without them. Within a couple years, they will be too old to share the same room. But for now, I let them be together, softly closing the door.
"Finally," I whisper in the upstairs hallway. I love my children, but tonight is for us. The sooner they fall asleep, the sooner I'm able to tear Nicholas' clothes off.
I move through the upstairs hall before gliding down a flight of stairs. In the front of our home, Nicholas is lounging on the couch, one arm draped across the back, watching a movie. After 15 years of marriage, even in the middle of the mundane, he hasn't lost an ounce of allure. He was always handsome, but the years together have only improved our intimacy, making him all the more striking even after so many years together.
Near the beginning of our relationship, due to poor genetics and not wanting to worry about his hair, he shaved his head in a move that, at first, I was less than a fan of. However, I quickly grew enamored with it.
He hasn't shaved his face in a couple days. A subtle stubble shadows his face. If he waited a couple more days, it would hurt to kiss him. Currently, it's just the right amount of rough. His black t-shirt gently lays on his chest and dark jeans are slightly stretched as his quads try to break free.
Kickboxing since graduating from college has improved the musculature of his legs and glutes. Yet besides his lower body, Nicholas isn't overly defined or muscular. However, compared to most 40 year olds, he's fit and well-formed. He won't appear on the cover of Men's Health, but compared to the other husbands I see when dropping the kids off at elementary school in the morning, he might as well. I love the way the other wives look at him. It makes me proud and, I admit, a little turned on knowing I have what they want.
My reminiscing is broken when he looks at me from across the room, smirks, and gestures to him.
"Come watch with me."
He's watching a thriller that I've never heard of. Thankfully, the movie soon won't be the only thing he's watching. I hold a finger up.
"Give me one second."
I blow him a kiss, which he catches, and I turn around, heading towards the back of the house to our bedroom. Immediately, I pull out four pieces from the closet, all black, all sheer: wired bra, thong, stockings, and garter harness. I was shopping online for lingerie when I came across this set. The tagline?
Awaken the Other You.
Marketing must work because I bought it immediately.
There are two sides of me. One side is the mother, caretaker and wife. These roles have thrived, but, at times, to the detriment of the other part of me; the woman. A darker, sexier, more self-confident version exists. Someone who walks out to her husband in lingerie and boldly pronounces, "Fuck me."
And that's exactly what I'm going to do tonight. With each piece I put on, I feel my heart speed up a little more. I slip on the stockings, clip the garter, and adjust the bra. With every second that passes, I feel that other side come out little by little, a sexual being who, at this moment, wants nothing more than to fuck her husband.
Once finished, I look at myself in the mirror.
"You're stunning," I say to myself.
My short brown hair stops at my chin, my bangs drap gently over my forehead. My small breasts conform to the bra. My pale skin radiates off the dark black of the lingerie. Nicholas never stops saying how gorgeous I am. In moments like this one, I can see what he sees. Yet I've never been the most in love with myself. After two kids, and years of slowly losing weight after those pregnancies, I never fully adjusted to my new body.
Thankfully, those feelings appear less and less every day, and I'm hoping they'll be almost smothered after tonight. I tussle my hair, apply lipstick, and look at myself one final time in the mirror.
I smile and leave the bathroom, but quickly stop, realizing I'll need some help. I move towards my nightstand and grab my wand vibrator.
"Let's give him a show," I whisper.
I walk out of our bedroom and towards the living room, feeling nervous and turned on at the same time. At first, Nicholas doesn't notice, his face still turned toward the television.
"What took you so lo-"
His voice catches in his throat as he sees me. I smile.
"The kids are finally asleep."
He slowly smirks and grabs the remote to pause the movie.
"Are they?" he says. "And how should we use this time together?"
I slowly approach him. I lean forward, my breasts lightly bouncing close to his face on the way down. I kiss him deeply. Our mouths part, but my lips are vibrating, immediately hungry for more. We come back together, our tongues meeting and swirling, our breath already becoming ragged and short.
I pull away and whisper, "I'm going to be fucked by my husband like it's our last day on Earth."
