My name is Chantel. I am 5'5” with medium length black hair and brown eyes. I weigh about 115 pounds and size 36C breasts. I am married to Truman, the most wonderful guy ever. I love him very much but there is a problem with our relationship. I do not know if I can have sex with him. Sometimes, I have flashbacks that bring up an unbearable pain. Every time Truman and I get ready to do something sexual the memories rush into my head and frighten me.
I used to weigh 341 pounds. All through school, I was the fat kid and was ridiculed. Finally, at the beginning of my senior year of high school, I went to my doctor who put me on a prescription weight-loss drug and I whittled myself down to my current weight. During the time I was overweight, some really mean things were done to me. My heart was broken so many times that I built a wall around it and would not let anyone in, anyone, that is, until Truman came along.
On our honeymoon, for example, I almost had a heart attack. I knew what that Truman expected to have sex because it was our honeymoon, after all. I thought that I could handle it. When I walked into the hotel room, Truman had set up candles everywhere and had sultry soft jazz playing. I was admiring his efforts when Truman came up and kissed me. I was so happy because this was only my second kiss. In high school and college, I didn't hang out with boys because I thought they would just end up breaking my heart like before. I was so excited. He led me to the bed and started kissing me again. At that very moment, a flashback flooded my mind.
I saw myself as the heavy girl who was a junior in high school. She was being laid down and kissed by a high school boy named Ray who was using her to get back at someone else. When Truman started to unzip my pants, I saw Ray sticking the head of his dick in the girl as she told him no.
The memory frightened me so badly that I jumped up and made up a lie. I told Truman that the wine was too warm and that I was going to get some ice. Instead of going to the ice machine, I went downstairs to the bar. I sat there for a couple of hours until I thought Truman would be asleep. I went upstairs and lay down beside my sleeping husband and finally went to sleep myself.