My name is Chantel. I am 5'5” with medium length black hair and brown eyes. I weigh about 115 pounds and size 36C breasts. I am married to Truman, the most wonderful guy ever. I love him very much but there is a problem with our relationship. I do not know if I can have sex with him. Sometimes, I have flashbacks that bring up an unbearable pain. Every time Truman and I get ready to do something sexual the memories rush into my head and frighten me.
I used to weigh 341 pounds. All through school, I was the fat kid and was ridiculed. Finally, at the beginning of my senior year of high school, I went to my doctor who put me on a prescription weight-loss drug and I whittled myself down to my current weight. During the time I was overweight, some really mean things were done to me. My heart was broken so many times that I built a wall around it and would not let anyone in, anyone, that is, until Truman came along.
On our honeymoon, for example, I almost had a heart attack. I knew what that Truman expected to have sex because it was our honeymoon, after all. I thought that I could handle it. When I walked into the hotel room, Truman had set up candles everywhere and had sultry soft jazz playing. I was admiring his efforts when Truman came up and kissed me. I was so happy because this was only my second kiss. In high school and college, I didn't hang out with boys because I thought they would just end up breaking my heart like before. I was so excited. He led me to the bed and started kissing me again. At that very moment, a flashback flooded my mind.
I saw myself as the heavy girl who was a junior in high school. She was being laid down and kissed by a high school boy named Ray who was using her to get back at someone else. When Truman started to unzip my pants, I saw Ray sticking the head of his dick in the girl as she told him no.
The memory frightened me so badly that I jumped up and made up a lie. I told Truman that the wine was too warm and that I was going to get some ice. Instead of going to the ice machine, I went downstairs to the bar. I sat there for a couple of hours until I thought Truman would be asleep. I went upstairs and lay down beside my sleeping husband and finally went to sleep myself.
I was having a wonderful dream. I felt something strange happening to my body and I woke up. When I did, Truman was getting ready to slide his cock into me. I freaked out and ran for the shower. I knew he would be upset but I could not bring myself to have sex with him just yet. I decided that I would either have to be very careful or tell him what the problem was. I didn’t feel as if I could confide in Truman just yet so I would just have to be careful.
When we got back home, I made sure to keep myself busy all the time. Every night while I was sleeping, I would get a flashback of some kids picking on me or of Ray taking advantage of me. I knew this was affecting Truman in a big way but what could I do? Besides, he could always jack off if he got too horny.
One Friday, I didn't have to go to either work or school. I thought Truman might try something but, surprisingly, he didn't. At about eight, he came up behind me and kissed me. He told me that he had drawn me a bath, which I thought was very sweet. When I got out of the tub, he was waiting for me with a towel. He wrapped the towel around me, lifted me up and carried me to the bed and laid me down. He started planting kisses all over me and told me that he was going to give me a massage. I told him that would be wonderful. I knew that I would stay alert so I went along with it. After a while, however, it started feeling really good and I got sleepy.
