She closed the door quietly behind her and yet the noise of it seemed to echo down the desolate hall. Karen squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself against the wall, the tears flowing freely down her lovely face and her sobs rising up from within her despite her efforts to choke them off.
"Never again," she vowed, silently, striking her knees with her balled-up fists, and raking her fingers through her tangled hair. Crying, she tore at her hair, feeling as though she would die from the agony she felt, the agony that grew every time she let him touch her. Loneliness swelled within her, threatening to strangle her with its intensity.
He did not love her! Oh, how she knew it to be so, and yet time after time she let herself believe, to spill himself into her body, to fill her with his lies. Karen wept, wiping the back of her hand across her mouth to get the taste of him off her. How she felt she could not wash off...she knew, Oh, how she knew!
A gentle knock on her door...Karen cried out in alarm, and choked back her sobs. No, please, she thought, please, not now, not now...
"Karen! Karen, what's happened? Karen, open this door. Karen, are you okay?"
His voice was concerned, filled with alarm. If she opened that door, she would see it in his eyes, that awful pity he felt for her. He, who loved her, who would do anything for her...Karen almost laughed at the irony as she shook her head, denying him with words he could not hear and tears he could not see.
"Karen, for God's sake, open this door." His voice was panicked, and behind that door Karen could imagine him, tall, and golden, his body young and beautiful, his face devastatingly handsome. Tears flowed freely down her own face as she shut her eyes to block out the image of his clear blue eyes.
The blade was sharp and new, and Karen clutched it tightly in her hand, watching the blood flow from beneath her fingers and trickle down her arm. "Never again," she repeated to herself, looking up into the mirror and seeing herself reflected there, her dark eyes bleak and bloodshot, her face pale and almost grey.
Taking a deep breath, Karen opened her fist and reached for the blade, drawing it across her wrist...
The door seemed to explode around her. Karen screamed as Josiah seized her, his face stricken as he took in the blood and her tears. Pressing his lips together, he reached for a towel and pressed it to her damaged wrist and took the blade from her trembling hand. "Damn you." He swore, quietly, looking at her, his face as pale as her own, "Damn you, Karen."
Karen wept, shaking her head woefully, "Why do you care? Why do you care?!"
He shook his head, tears filling his eyes. "Why don't you care, baby?"
