Maing Her Pay My Price

Friday night, I'm dog tired and glad to be headed home. It's been a long week. My cell rings.

"Ray, I ordered from Smithy's, it should be ready in about 15 minutes. I've got your beer on ice and I made a salad. The umbrella is up and there's a nice breeze out here on the deck."

"Ok Jill, I am about 20 minutes from Smithy's, so I'll be home in about 30 minutes."

My job as the assistant manager of the accounting department of a large insurance company pays pretty well, but can be a pain. We have reports and tax filings that are all time sensitive, so sometimes I work late into the evening to get the work completed by its due date. My staff is young and need a lot of supervision, but they're pretty good workers and eventually they will be able to shoulder more of the work. I'm looking forward to being able to work a 40 hour week instead of the 50-55 hours I did this week.

My wife, Jill, is a teacher and usually gets home around 4:45. After nine years of marriage she is used to my schedule. At age 32 she is two years younger than me. We have no children, but her bio clock is ticking and we would like to start a family next year.

I always try to leave the office on time on Fridays. We usually have pizza, watch a movie on cable and then go to bed early. Most Friday nights we have sex and I very much look forward to that, no matter how tired I am. Jill always seems eager for it and is usually game for another go on Saturday morning too.

"Hi honey, I threw the pizza in the oven, I'm going up to change."

When I come back down to the kitchen, Jill is putting pizza on a plate and dishing up a small salad. She leans in and gives me a quick kiss. "Grab some food and come out to the deck."

Two beers, a salad and way too much pizza later, Jill turns to me and says, "babe, I need to talk to you about something. Will you come inside with me, please."

Now, she didn't actually say "Honey we need to talk," but it was pretty close. Close enough that I quickly ran the last week or so through my head to see if I'd screwed up some how. I couldn't think of any important dates I may have missed, so I was clueless. I gathered another beer and my food and followed her into the kitchen.

"Okay Jill, am I in trouble?"

"What? No, no. You're never in trouble. You're the best husband a girl could ever hope for."

"Oh boy, the Macy's card again?... Oh no, did you wreck your car?"

"Ray! This is serious. Now please stop kidding around and listen to me!"

"Ok Jill, I'm sorry, please tell me what's on your mind."

"Ray, this is really hard for me. Promise you'll listen and let me get it all out before you say anything. Please Ray, just promise you'll hear me out."

"Jesus Jill, you're scaring me! What the hell is it?... Ok, I promise to listen."

"Ray, we've known each other about eleven years. We met shortly after I graduated and began teaching. You didn't know me when I was at State."

"Yes, you had just been teaching a few weeks when we met. So?"

"Well, we never really talked about my time at State. I told you I didn't date much after my freshman year and that's true. During my freshman year... I went kinda boy-crazy. I mean I met up with a lot of guys and had sex with most of them."

"Jill, that was before you knew me, I don't care about that. I wasn't a nun while I was in school."

"Ray, please just let me say this."

"Ok, sorry. Please continue, I'll stay quiet."

"Well, towards the end of freshman year, I was at a big party and was "experimenting" with a group. There were several guys and a few girls. We were all stoned and things got pretty crazy. Anyway, at some point this girl started making out with me. It got pretty intense and somehow she dragged me into another room and locked the door. We ended up in bed having one on one sex all night long. I had never before been with a girl and didn't really know what I was doing, but it was so hot and the girl, Amy was her name, was all over me. Ray, I really got into it! She must have made me cum ten times that night and I'm sure I got her off several times too."

"Ok, well Lots of kids experiment with same sex stuff in school. It's no big deal. Why are you telling me this now?"

"Ray please! You promised to listen and not interrupt."

"Ok, sorry, go on."

"After that night, I couldn't get Amy out of my head. Eventually, I tracked her down and had a talk with her. I told her I wanted to be with her again and it made her very happy. She gushed about how I was the best she'd ever had and she'd love to be with me again. We went on a couple dates and just clicked. We ended up living together in an apartment off campus. Ray, we were very much in love. We spent just over two years together and I was really happy with her.

Things ended when we were invited to a big frat party. Amy had a study group so she planned to meet me there later that evening. Stupidly, I got drunk and let some dude make out with me. I don't know why I did it. I was very drunk and think maybe he slipped me some ecstasy, but Amy saw me and she freaked out. I tried to explain things to her, but she ran off. She never came back to our apartment and never talked to me again. Her brother showed up a few days later and collected her stuff and that was it.

I was a mess for about six months and then a guy asked me out and I accepted. After that I dated a few other guys before I graduated. Shortly after graduation, I met you and you made me the happiest girl on the planet when you proposed to me."

I started to speak but Jill raised a hand and said, "there's more I need to tell you."

I closed my mouth and nodded for her to continue her story.

"About two months ago, I was at the mall shopping for shoes. I was looking at a rack of shoes and I saw a really nice pair of red heels. I reached for them and the person beside me reached for them at the same time. We said sorry and then turned toward each other. I was shocked to see Amy smiling at me. As soon as she saw my face, she gasped and stepped back. I was afraid she would run so I reached out and grabbed her arm. She looked down at my hand and then up to my eyes. She must have seen my pleading look because her face soften and she sighed my name.

I don't know what made me do it, but I reached my free hand up and placed it on the back of her neck. I then pulled her to me and kissed her. I kissed her deeply and she kissed me back. When we broke apart she stepped back and looked me up and down before speaking."

****

"My god Jill, you are as beautiful as ever! I think about you all the time." Then she slapped me! "Jill, you broke my heart! I thought you loved me! How could you have done that to me?"

"Amy, I did love you, I just screwed up that night. I didn't really know what I was doing, I was pretty fucked up and I think on ecstasy. Oh shit! Amy, I'm so, so sorry. I tried to talk to you about it, but you disappeared. I begged your brother to tell me where you went but he wouldn't."

"Jill, I was just devastated. I ended up going home and nearly flunked all my classes. You graduated in June. I had to go back in the fall to get my last few credits to graduate. I got a job out in Seattle and just got transferred back here last month. I wanted to call you, but I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me and I just couldn't handle it if you rejected me again."

"Oh Amy, I'm so sorry. Look, let's go grab lunch and you can tell me about what you've done in the last ten years. Please, there's a nice Mexican place at the end of the Mall, please?"

****

"Ray, She agreed to have lunch and we had a great time catching up. She is in sales and her schedule is pretty flexible. We've gotten together a few times after school and I had dinner with her once when you worked late. We were both so happy to reconnect. I didn't say anything to you because I didn't know how to explain her to you. I should have told you the day I saw her, but I didn't. I wish now that I had.

If you recall, this past Wednesday you called and said you would be very late, 10-11:00. Well Amy called me just seconds after you did and I asked her to come over and keep me company.

I fixed us a light meal and we had some wine. We moved to the couch and had some more wine. We were just talking and laughing about some of the crazy shit we did when Amy leaned in and kissed me. Ray, I'm sorry, but I kissed her back. I know it's wrong and it's cheating, but I just got carried away. We were making out pretty heavily, then Amy started to unbutton my blouse. At that point reality hit me and I quickly stood up and stepped back.

I said, "Amy, I can't do this. I'm married to a wonderful man, I just can't cheat on him."

"I'm sorry, Jill. I've tried so hard to control myself because I didn't want to scare you off. Jill, I still love you and I want you so bad, but I know that can't happen. I'm sorry, please don't hate me for being weak. I can do better, please don't send me away."

I rushed to her and held her in my arms. In my heart I knew I loved Amy too, but Ray, my love for you is so very deep. You mean the world to me and I just couldn't live without you. I told Amy I loved her, but you were my husband and would always be my first love. I said I wanted her in my life, but couldn't do anything to hurt you. We cried together and then she said needed to think about things. She kissed me on the cheek and said good night.

After she left I thought about all the things I'd done this past month and knew I had to talk with you about it. Ray, I don't know what should happen now. I want to continue to see Amy, but I don't want to end up doing something that might hurt you. I talked to her earlier tonight and told her I wanted her to meet you and maybe get to know you. I think if we do that, she will see what you mean to me and, hopefully, she will understand she and I can never be more than just very, very close friends."

"Wow! Jill I don't know how to react to what you've told me. I never knew you were into girls."

"No Ray, not GIRLS, only one special girl, Amy. I have never been attracted to any other female. I can't explain my attraction to Amy. I know I'm not actually gay. I've always felt desire for you and, I admit I've felt an attraction for some other men. I never acted on that attraction because I love you too much, still I did feel it. I'm sure you've found yourself attracted to other women, right? I mean it's only natural. But we're married, so we resist the attraction, we don't just give in to it."

"Well Jill, I'm pissed that you've been seeing Amy behind my back. It doesn't seem to me you're doing much resisting. You have a history with this girl and you've been with her several times, yet you never mentioned any of those meetings to me. How would you feel if I told you I was seeing an old girlfriend and we'd had several lunches and a dinner together and I'd even had her here in our home, all without ever mentioning her to you?"

Jill gasped, her eyes grew wide with shock and she brought a hand up to cover her mouth.

"Oh my god, Ray! That's exactly what I did! I... I... I was cheating on you, emotionally. Ray, I would be so pissed if you did that to me! Baby, I'm so sorry. You're right, I should have told you about running into her and having lunch that first day. Oh Ray, I guess, in the back of my mind, I didn't want to have to tell you about my relationship with her. I don't know, maybe I thought it would just be that one lunch. But as it went on, I don't know why I didn't mention it to you. Ray, I wasn't, consciously, trying to hide it from you. I'm pretty sure I told you about having dinner with a girlfriend, but I should have explained everything that first day. Oh god, what a mess! Ray, I'm sorry I was less than honest with you."

"Yes you told me about the dinner, but I didn't know what was really happening and you definitely should have come to me on the first day. Jill, we don't keep things from each other. We've always been open and honest with each other, until this."

Jill hung her head. "You're right Ray, I really fucked up here. What are we going to do? What do YOU want me to do? Please baby, how can I make this right?"

"I don't know, Jill. You say you think you love this girl, but you're still in love with me. How do you think that makes me feel? I mean, my wife is in love with someone else! Where does that leave us? You said you want to continue to see her. If you do, how long will it be before you're intimate with her again? If you want to have sex with her, then do you expect me to become a willing cuckold, is that what you want?"

"NO! That's NOT what I want! Ray, you are my husband. I will never be intimate with anyone but you! I love you with all my heart. Ray please, you mean the world to me."

"Now I'm confused, you say you love me and only want to be intimate with me, but you're still in love with Amy. Jill, I think you're just as confused as I am. You know I'm not the type of guy who is willing to share his wife with someone else. I believe you truly love me, but I fear your desire for Amy might be more than you, or she, can control.

I think you're right, maybe the three of us need to discuss this and decide how things will be, going forward. I am not at all happy with any of this and I fear our marriage may not survive. Jill, I love you, but I am having a real hard time with all of this."

Jill begins to sob deeply. "Oh god no, Ray please, I can't lose you! Please believe me, it is you I love and you and I want to be with. I'll call Amy and tell her I can't see her again."

"NO! I don't want you to do that and then be pining for her for the rest of our life together. No, we need to sit down and the three of us need to settle this."

"Ok Ray, I'll call her and set up a time for us to meet."

"Jill, I'm going to the basement and lift weights for a while. I need to do something to calm down. Let me know when you've spoken to Amy."

I went into our bedroom to change into some sport shorts. Our bedroom over looks the deck and when I got near the open window I could hear Jill talking on her cell.

"Oh god Amy, it was horrible. He even used the D word.... Your right, maybe I was too honest with him about my feelings for you.... I know that, but I really thought he'd be ok with us seeing each other. I mean, don't all guys get turned on by watching a little girl-on-girl action?... He wants the three of us to talk it out.... Yes, I want to be with you, but not until I'm pregnant.... Sure, like we could ever find a better sperm donor than Ray. He is perfect and I want him to father our child.... Ok, but you have to be believable. I dumped my pills a few weeks ago and next week I need to fuck his eyes out. Once I'm sure I'm pregnant, we'll talk to him again.... I know baby, but if things go right, it will only be a month or so.... Well, once I'm pregnant, I'll just say I need you here and what is he going to say?... I don't think so. I just can't see Ray divorcing his pregnant wife.... Yeah, but If we don't push him too hard, maybe he'll go along with it until the baby is born. If that happens, maybe I'll go for a second child, then divorce him.... Yes, maybe I'm dreaming, but it would be a dream come true for us.... Ok, tomorrow night at 7:30, gotta run, love you! Bye!"

I staggered backwards and plopped down on the bed. Suddenly my stomach lurched and I thought I was going to lose my dinner. I steadied myself then slipped down the stairs and through the basement door. I sat on my weight bench with my head in my hands.

Jill is going to leave me for Amy, but she wants me to knock her up first. She thinks she will be able to move Amy into the house and I'll allow it because Jill will be pregnant. My god, she's right! There is no way I would abandon her if she was pregnant with my child, I'm just not that kind of guy.

Well, she fucked up when she allowed me to overhear their grand scheme. There is no way I will ever get her pregnant. She'll have to find herself another donor. Now that I know her plans, I need to make some plans of my own.

Jill rapped on the door then opened it. "Ray? I talked to Amy and she's coming over tomorrow night at 7:30. Will that be ok with you?"

"Yeah babe, that's fine. I'm coming up, but I need a shower."

I showered and pulled on a pair of boxers and climbed into bed. Jill slid into bed naked and snuggled up to me. Her hand drifted across my chest and then down to my limp dick. I reached down and grabbed her hand.

"Babe, I think I might have pulled something down there. I think I might have tried to lift too much and hurt myself, sorry."

"Oh no, Ray! Do you need to go to the hospital?"

"No, I'll be ok. Maybe I'll ice it tomorrow. Right now I just need some sleep."

The next day I sat on the couch with an ice bag on my groin and watched a couple games. Mid afternoon Jill said she was going to the store to get more wine and snacks for this evening's meeting. She said she'd order Chinese delivered for dinner. I suggested she ask Amy to join us for dinner. Jill beamed at me and said she'd call from the car.

Once she was gone, I called my boss, apologizing for calling on a Saturday, told him I had injured myself and would need Monday off. He knew all my reports went out Friday so he was not worried about my work and told me to do whatever I needed to do.

I then called my lawyer and told him I needed a referral to a family lawyer. He was shocked, but gave me a name and suggested I call her immediately. I called Ms. Sally Hawk and briefly explained my situation. She told me to gather my financials and be in her office at 9:00 on Monday. With that done, I relaxed and waited for Jill to return.

Jill was gone several hours and when she came in she had Amy with her. "Ray, I ran into Mary Clark at the wine shop and she talked my ear off. By the time I got out of there it was getting late so I called Amy and offered her a ride. We ordered dinner from the car, so it should be here in half an hour."

"Hello Amy, my name is Ray."

"Oh shit! Ray, I'm sorry, I forgot you've never met each other. Sorry for being such a ditz."

Amy smiled at Ray, "Ray, thank you for inviting me to your home this evening."

I nodded, "shall I pour us all a glass of wine? Jill, let me see what you bought for us."

As I opened and poured the wine, I checked out Jill's lover. I had to concede Jill's choice in women matched mine. Amy looked like she could be Jill's sister, slightly taller, but otherwise built just like Jill. My active mind quickly ran through a "sisters" fantasy. I shook my head and thought, "nope, never going to go there!"

The three of us chatted over dinner and we each had a couple glasses of wine. Jill suggested we move into the family room and begin our discussion. I refilled everyone's glass and then followed the ladies into the family room. As they entered the room, Amy paused, not knowing where to sit. I quickly plopped down in my recliner and gestured for the ladies to sit on the couch.

Jill smiled at Ray and said, "honey, you asked for this meeting, so why don't you start the discussion."

I slowly blew out a deep breath then said, "I spent all afternoon thinking about our circumstance. Amy, Jill told me about your past relationship and how it ended. She also told me about reconnecting with you and the reawakening of her feelings for you. She seems to be struggling with her desire to be close to you and her commitment to our marriage. She has assured me her desire to preserve our marriage is still her number one concern. I've told her I am unwilling to share my wife with you, or anyone else. I'm just not that type of guy.

So Amy, Jill, how do you two see things developing, given my refusal to enter into some sort of love triangle? I guess I want to know what you truly WANT and then what your expectations are at this point."