Loyalty

Most guys have one, the asshole friend that your wife just can't stand. You know who I'm talking about, the one who pulled his dick out in the middle of the bar that resulted in you getting the shit kicked out of you by bouncers, when he got drunk at your engagement party and told your mother-in-law that she was a hot piece of ass she was for her age, and then drunk at your wedding when he gave the speech that he thought was hilarious while everyone around groaned. You know the guy, the one your wife can't stand and does everything in her power to pull you away from him. Jack is that guy for me, my asshole.

All it took was ten seconds and Mandy hated Jack forever. She and I had been dating for a few months and I'd been doing everything in my power to keep them away from each other. Mandy's father made pretty good money so she had wanted for nothing. Private school, new car at 17, college paid for, everything on a silver platter. And on the complete opposite side of life was Jack, the man given shit by life with every intention of throwing it back at every opportunity.

Jack's story is the common trailer park story, Dad left when Jack was six because he fell in love with a crackhead with huge boobs and that was a lot more fun than picking up trash for the city and taking care of your kid. Jack's mom worked her ass off just to keep a roof over his head, food in his stomach and shoes on his feet. He idolized his mom and studied so he could make her proud.

He was a B/C type student and he could have done even better if he could get the chip off of his shoulder and focus on his academics. But once he got into college, all bets were off, he had fulfilled his pledge to his mom and now he could be the full-fledged asshole that he had always dreamed of being. Most guys dream of being rich, marrying a supermodel and living a life of glory and fame. Jack rejected such simple dreams, his singular purpose in life was to by loyal to his best friend, me.

And what did I do to earn such loyalty from Jack you may ask, I got the ever living shit kicked out of me because of that bastard. I first met dickhead our Junior year of High School. I had just moved to town and I was still learning who was who at the school, so instead of hanging out with the right people on Friday night, I'm hanging out with Jack.

So his idea of fun is to be as obnoxious as possible to pretty much everyone he meets. It is actually amazing to watch because most people can't tell that he is 100% serious when he says the most fucked up things to people and they eat it up like it's a joke. The problem arises when he says shit to people who either understand his sarcastic behavior or they are just really angry people who are looking to beat the shit out of people. And since in the typical High School rebellious teenager dress code, everyone looks alike so when your asshole friend says some stupid stuff to a bunch of stuck up girls and then goes to take a leak, you get your ass kicked by a bunch of bridge trolls when there isn't a single bridge in sight. To say I got the shit kicked out of me would be an understatement, you know you've had a fantastic time when the Murse at the hospital is the next person you see.

Jack had come out at the tail end of the ass beating, but for once he was smart enough to stay out of it since it was six on one and the one was already knocked the fuck out. The siren from the cops scared everyone away and Jack took off as he saw the cops check my vitals to confirm that I was still alive. Jack visited me in the hospital and swore loyalty to me until his dying day, or maybe he swore to attend Loyola or to beat people to death who said YOLO. I kind of hoped it was the YOLO part, can't really stand those sorry fucks.

So, why am I giving you all of the background on Jack? Number One, it's my story so I'll write what I want to. The purple dragon slayed the fuzzy unicorn and everyone dined on hot pockets. See? Can't stop me. And Number Two, it helps to understand why Jack does what he does for me. To paraphrase from the great Robin Williams, "Why does he hang out with that retarded gorilla, because if I asked him to, Jack would take a fucking bat to your head, okay? It's called loyalty".

Fast forward a few years and I meet Mandy. I make the tactical decision to keep asshole away from her. I know they are going to hate each other, she is everything that he hates and he is the living embodiment of what everyone hates. Everything is good in my two separate worlds until I screw up and take her to visit a local watering hole. She and I had been there for about ten minutes when jackoff shows up. He actually behaved himself for the first five minutes, being polite, asking her all of the normal get to know you stuff. Then he starts telling jokes and it all falls apart.

He really can't help himself, he just needs to be asshole. He started off with his favorite, "What's the worst thing about getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger". Mandy shoots him a look like he just raped her cat, mouth open, completely disgusted. Jack see's this, smiles and then asks her, "What's the difference between a joke and two dicks"? She shoots him the snide look back and he answers, "You can't take a joke, but you can take two...". And right before he finishes she hits him with pepper spray, Jack's crying (along with the poor fuck standing behind him, but fuck him, he should have been standing somewhere else), everyone in the bar is either running for the door or clapping that Jack finally got it back. This is the exact moment that I knew I loved her, it was awesome, she took zero shit from anyone and just fucked his world up in an instant. She turned to spray me too but I moved in close, wrapped my arms around her and kissed her hard on the lips. I told her she was amazing, took her hand and walked back to her apartment.

To say it was hot, would be a massive understatement. We were barely through the door when I grabbed her ass and pulled her in tight to me. The adrenaline from the bar joined with our lust and resulted into an amazing night. Her kissing me hard, drawing blood when she bit my lip, I almost came from that alone.

Our lips never broke apart as I carried her into the bedroom. The normal prim and proper woman had been replaced by a lusty she-devil sexpot, still to this day, the hottest sex I've ever had. Ripping off each other's clothes, kissing, sucking, nibbling, biting, we couldn't get enough of each other. There is just something amazingly magical about a raw fucking when your adrenaline is pumping that just makes for an outstanding experience.

And now I'm hooked on her. Once a woman rocks your world like she did mind there is no coming back from it. You may find a different woman, experience close to in in pleasure but that night always sticks in your head and that is the woman that always haunts your dreams. I knew that I was fucked and there was only one way out, suicide, errr, marriage.

So I start to balance the tight rope then many men have walked before, how do you keep your love life and bro life happy when they can't stand each other? The simple answer is you don't, and your bro life suffers because of it. Jack knew what was going on as we started to hang out less and less, and would give me the requisite amount of shit I was due because of it.

Her Dad was thrilled when I had asked him and he had even subtly hinted that Mandy's brother would make a great Best Man. I shook his hand and thanked him for blessing. I proposed to Mandy at the bar where she had maced Jack, I figured it was only appropriate since it was the changing point in our relationship. She cried and said yes and was overly thrilled when she found out that I had asked her dad ahead of time.

With her Dad being well off, paying for the wedding was taken care of so booking the venue, caterer, flowers, the orchestra, the ice sculpture and all of the stupid shit that goes into the "must have" pile for weddings were easy. The honeymoon would be a trip to Tuscany, as Mandy had always wanted to visit. Even the invite list was easy, hell, everything is a lot easier when money is involved, everything but one thing. Jack.

I knew this was coming, Mandy knew what was coming, by far the worst fight of our marriage. She started off with the nice, "wouldn't it be great if my brother was the Best Man". I knew that there was no rational argument that I can make to accept Jack as my Best Man so I channeled my inner woman and ignored the facts of the case. I must have said no twenty-five times in a row without uttering another word. Having watched the Ali-Foreman to prep for the argument, I know that the only way I can win is a rope-a-dope and let her exhaust herself by cussing me out.

Ali got Foreman to wear down in seven rounds, Mandy was so pissed that it took two months and multiple threats of canceling the wedding on her part to acquiesce in letting Jack be the Best Man. I had to promise her that I would control him and that he wouldn't do anything to ruin our day. After a night of heavy drinking, I laid down the law with Jack about how the wedding was going to go, he called me a whipped bitch and then passed at the White Castle in front of two cops. Fucking Jack.

A great way to know if you have a good friend is how well they listen when you need them and back you up. His behavior was exceptional, for the most part. The bachelor party went fine with us going hunting for the weekend and getting shit faced. Jack taught Mandy's brother about fifty dick jokes and about how girls really like it when you give them a "Houdini" (hint, they really don't). But not a stripper insight so her Dad gives a positive thumbs-up and Mandy was able to relax before the wedding.

Even at the wedding Jack was on his best behavior, dancing with the single and elderly women. He helped one of Mandy's cousins avoid puking all over his rented tux and even was able to prevent the Cha-Cha slide from being played. So with the minor exception of telling Mandy's Grandmother that the Bride looked great for being three months pregnant (she wasn't), he was awesome. As Mandy and I fly way for our honeymoon, she even told me how happy she was with his behavior.

The honeymoon went great, we made passionate love in four hundred villas. The first night Mandy wore a white lace bustier that almost made me cum in my pants. I would love to say that I last for hours but within a minute I was tasting her and was inside of her once she was nice and wet. She felt so good, so tight, so perfect. Smart, funny and sexy, she was my perfect woman and she was all mine.

The rest of the honeymoon was a blur of sexual bliss, and so was our marriage. Kids came along as the years passed, Mandy and Jack even could tolerate to be in the same room together. Jack and I saw each other pretty regularly. We were even on the same softball team together; the bastard was always borrowing my bat when he would go into slump. Life was going pretty good together, and then the bottom fell out.

Mandy had gone back to work after our second child was born. Working late hours, weekends and the occasional trip. She was busting her ass and making a name for self in the company. She was going great and I was really proud of her for how well she was doing. Then I got the knock on the door that most men fear.

No, this isn't the one where they suddenly find out that there loving wife is cheating on them. This is the one where there are two cops outside your door and they are trying to gently tell you that your wife had been involved in an accident. Asking as many questions as I could, them not being overly forthcoming with the answers. I managed to get the neighbors to take care of the kids and I rushed off to the hospital.

It was the nurse who told me that when the cops meant "accident", they really meant that one of my wife's male co-workers decided that Mandy deserved to be beaten and assaulted. I didn't know what to say, shaking my head I just said, "no" again and again. The nurse took me in to see Mandy. She had a black eye, tubes sticking out of her and bruising all over her body. She was already well medicated and sleeping. I held onto her hand and cried.

The cops talked to me again, saying that they hadn't made any arrests yet but they had a person of interest. I asked for the name but they said that they couldn't share that with me yet. They asked what I had known about the evening and I told them that she was working late and had sent me a text saying she was going to stop for a drink since they had just finished up. They told me that they would be talking to Mandy when she woke up.

Later in the evening a friend of Mandy's from work stopped by to check on her. By this time Mandy's parents, my parents, Jack and a few other friends had shown up. She had been out with the group and then went home while everyone was leaving. She let me know that Eric had been drunk and Mandy had offered to pay for a cab for him. He had been hitting on her all night and she had gently but firmly been rejecting him and shutting down his attempts. Mandy's friend told me that she had a meeting with the police in a little while and would share what she knew with them.

I thanked her for telling us then I went in to check on Mandy. The Doctor had cut back the dosage so she was starting to wake up. When she opened her eyes I tried to smile. Mandy started to cry and say that she was so sorry. I hugged her and told her everything was ok, she was ok, we were ok. The nurse came in and began to check on Mandy and I slipped out of the room to go tell everyone that she was awake. While the hospital had limits for how many people in room, we filled the room it seemed that everyone but Jack was in the room, he had walked off, probably to go get a coffee.