Lost My Cat but Found a Pussy

This dumbass cat, dude. Literally the stupidest animal on earth. I peer over the neighbor's gate and call her name quietly. "Meowzers... pstpst..."

She looks up at me from the far edge of their yard. For a moment her orange little ears stand at attention. Then she looks back at the clump of grass she's eating and, after weighing her options, continues to eat it.

This is so fucking embarrassing. It's 7:30am on a Tuesday and here I am strolling up to these rich-ass neighbors' front door wearing an extra large Sublime t-shirt and sweatpants. I've never even walked down this part of my street before. The houses are fucking huge. I brush the hair off my forehead and ring the doorbell.

And then immediately this super hot chick comes up to the other side of the glass door and sort of peers through it, puzzled. She's maybe in her early 30s and wearing yoga clothes. I try to make a friendly-but-distressed face at her through the door. She opens it partway.

"Uh... hello?" she says.

"Hi," I say, "I'm so sorry to bother you this early in the morning, but my cat just escaped, and I see her in your backyard. Could I, um, go back there and get her?"

She blinks at me a couple times and adjusts the shoulder strap of her yoga bra, which had started to slip. "Yeah," she says. "No worries at all. Freaking pets, right?"

"Oh my god, thank you," I say. "Yeah, freaking pets is right." I step back from the door to go grab Meowzers, but then for some reason she steps out after me. I pause.

"Do you... want a hand?" she asks.

"Oh," I say. "Um, totally, yes."

So we head back into the yard, where Meowzers has started licking the side of an apple tree. "She's literally so dumb," I explain.

"Oh, dude," says the woman, "you should meet the cat I grew up with. He would eat cotton balls out of the bathroom trash can. He thought they were mice."

I laugh. She delivered the joke with a straight face, but she's smiling at me with her eyes.

We get up close to Meowzers and I start to bend down, but of course just as I get within grasping range she leaps off to the side, sprints in a loop around the tree, and charges back towards the house.

"Fuck," I say, starting after her. I dash back in the direction of the front door just in time to see her step up on their porch and go inside. "Fuck," I say again. "Oh my god. Fuck."

"Did she just go inside?" the woman asks.

"Um. Yeah. I'm so fucking sorry," I say.

She laughs. "That's a really dumb cat," she says.

"I tried to tell you..."

"Come on in," she says, grabbing my wrist playfully and taking me towards the door. "Don't even worry about it. We'll find her." Her hand is soft and warm, and I feel a little sad when she lets go. I also feel a little erection coming on, which is not good news in sweats.

She leads me into the living room. Every piece of furniture looks like it cost more than I make in a month. Every wall is a floor-to-ceiling glass window looking out into their yard. I see Meowzers's orange tail slip around the doorway into the kitchen.

I follow, trying to step lightly on the polished wood floors. My stupid fucking slides are probably tracking dirt everywhere...

The woman tiptoes right behind me, clearly hoping not to startle Meowzers. "By the way," she says quietly, "I'm Jess."

"I'm Ryan," I say. "Sorry again about all this."

She puts that soft warm hand on my arm and rubs it up and down. "Literally don't even worry," she says. "Pets are crazy."

I step into the kitchen, ready to lunge for her if I have to. But then I freeze. First shock: Meowzers is up on the counter, licking milk out of what must be Jess's cereal bowl. Second shock: there's another bowl just like it, but with no milk.

There are two cereal bowls. Is someone else home? But also woah, hey, that's none of my business. I grab for Meowzers and--

Damn she's fucking fast! She slips between my hands and hits the floor at a gallop, zipping back into the living room and up the wide modernist staircase to the second floor.

"Jess," I say, as she stands behind me in the kitchen blinking. "I am so sorry. I... think she was drinking out of your cereal bowl."

She laughs again, even harder this time. "This is fucking wild," she says. "You have a wild cat."

"Please let me make this up to you once I catch her."

"Don't even worry about the cereal," she says, still laughing. "I'll give that one to Jeff."

"Jeff?"

"Oh, yeah, Jeff, my husband," she says. "He's in the shower."

My vision goes a little blurry. I realize I've been hearing the sound of the shower upstairs since we walked through the front door. I also realize I have a raging boner, and as we tiptoe up the stairs I try to rearrange it subtly so she won't see. Even flat against my belly it's trying to shove itself out the top of my waistband. And the last thing I want is for this Jeff dude to walk out of the shower and see me rock hard, walking upstairs behind his gorgeous wife.

When we get to the top of the stairs, she nudges me into a bedroom and turns on the light. "Let's check in here," she says. Then she closes the door.

"Um," I say. "I don't really see her in here."

"Let me get down and check under the bed," she says. She bends down, lifting her sculpted ass up in the air behind her. I don't even know why I look at it, but the yoga pants hug her pussy tight -- so tight I can see the crease where her labia meet. And she clearly knows it. And -- oh my god, really? -- I think I just saw her get a little wet.

"Nope," she says. "But, um, maybe -- since I'm already down here, you could -- well, you brought up... repaying me?"

"Yeah," I say, my heartbeat doubling. "I meant I could, like, bake you some cookies or something."

She steps over to the bed and flops down on it, ass-up. She looks over at me with sudden lust in her big brown eyes. "That sounds nice," she says. "But I saw your boner a minute ago, and since it's there, I guess I was just thinking maybe you could... pay me in advance."

I start to freak out. "Your fucking husband is literally right down the hallway in the shower," I whisper, scared to make noise.

"Oh, he takes long showers," she says. "And anyway, you can be fast. It's not like I'm doing you the biggest favor in the world; you don't have to show me the sun and stars."

The head of my cock nudges itself all the way up out of my waistband.

"Just show me that," she says, pointing at it and biting her lower lip.

I think of all the things that could go wrong: I could lose my cat in this stranger's house, I could get caught and murdered by her husband, I could knock her up and ruin her marriage and have to pay child support, I could catch herpes, I could lose my cat and ruin her marriage and catch herpes and then get murdered by her husband--

And then she hikes her yoga pants down over her ass and wiggles it in the air, and my body is taken over by powers from another world. I step out of my slides and drop my sweats -- she gasps cutely when she sees my cock -- and as she presses herself down into the mattress, biting her hand to stop herself crying out in anticipation, I jump on top of her and find her pussy with the head of my cock and plunge inside her, grunting so hard she shushes me.

I have never in my life wanted to roar or shout with pleasure, but suddenly I have to tighten my whole chest to stay quiet. Her pussy is soft and tight and wet and hot. At first I can't quite fit myself in; she makes an urgent little moaning sound and I stop when I feel the roof of her. But after a few slow ins and outs she relaxes. I literally see her back muscles give up their tension.

"Pull my hair?" she whispers.

I reach up and grab a fistful of her silky black hair. I pull back tentatively, and then, as I ease my cock back inside her and find that her pussy has stretched to fit me all the way, I pull back harder and lift her elegant throat an inch off the mattress.

"Now cum," she says, "and be kinda fast, ok?"

I can still hear the shower running. I start to pound her faster, reaching stroke after stroke into the back of her hot pussy. Then I hear the shower stop. I freeze.

"Fuck," I whisper.

"Don't stop," she begs, almost crying.

"Your husband," I whisper.

"He's a douche," she says. "He'll spend twenty more minutes on his hair. Just fucking please fucking fuck me," she whines, and backs her pussy up all the way onto my shaft.

Maybe it's stupid, but I decide to trust her. I really like her. I pull out halfway, gather myself, and grab her by both firm buttcheeks. Then I start pounding her like I've never pounded anybody -- hard and fast, with purpose. She shoves her face down into the bed to stop her little moans and whines from echoing, and the shifting arc of her spine as I ram her -- plus the rising pink flush on her neck and her ass -- plus the way her pussy squeezes me as I pull out, only to slam myself back in -- well, basically, it all combines to make me cum harder and longer than I knew I could, slamming myself deeper into her right up to the last fiery burst of cum.

Then, from down the hall, we hear Jeff open the door and say "babe, did someone ring the doorbell?"

I pull out in panic. I forgot I rang the fucking doorbell. Cum drips down her thighs. For a few seconds she's totally motionless, maybe literally passed out. Jeff calls out again: "babe?"

I shake her shoulder as hard as I can. Then she rolls to the side, a string of drool stretching out between her mouth and the bedsheet. "Yeah," she shouts. "Just a super early Amazon guy."

"Oh damn," Jeff says. "Good for him, hustling hard." And I hear the bathroom door click closed again.

"I gotta go," I say.

"For sure," she says softly, looking back at me. With a little effort, she sits up and pulls her yoga pants up over the cummy mess.

"He's not gonna notice that?" I ask.

"Literally not your problem at all," she says, getting up and pushing me towards the door. When we open it, Meowzers is sitting right there on the floor, looking up at us with her big green eyes.

"Aw," says Jess. "Pretty kitty."

"You say something, babe?" shouts Jeff from the bathroom. I nearly have a heart attack.

"Nope," she says, "just talking to myself." And she laughs that gorgeous laugh. I scoop Meowzers into my arms and carry her down the fancy staircase.

At the door, Jess rubs her eyes and reaches out for my hand. "That was super duper good," she says. "Like, year-changing, if not life-changing."

My heart flutters around like a happy butterfly. "For sure," I say, trying to seem super cool and non-fluttery. "That was awesome." My cock flutters too.

"Maybe, uh, lose your cat again sometime?"

"Maybe when your husband isn't home?"

"Totally," she says. "Very smart. You're a smart guy. How about I text you?" She reaches to grab her phone but realizes she's wearing yoga pants, at which point she starts looking around on flat surfaces, at which point I reach for my phone, at which point I hear Jeff open the bathroom door and I dive outside with Meowzers like my life depends on it, which it might. Meowzers meows right as the door closes.

And then, once I'm back down the stairs and back in my car with my pissed-off cat, engine on and ready to go, I see a scrap of paper fall out of their big front window towards the driveway. I open the car door (almost releasing Meowzers back into the wild) and get out quickly, shutting it behind me. I go over and pick up the scrap. A note is scribbled on it in pencil:

"I'd give you my number, but it'd be cuter if you lost her again for real.

--Jess :)

p.s. I smell SO much like your cum."