"Oh, God, I'm so bored," I thought, as I struggled into the old basic-black sheath dress. The old black bra had gone on first, the old black pantyhose were next. The old plain heels were last. No surprises.
Oh, rats, at least one surprise. Run in pantyhose. And I hate garter belts and hose.
"Same old dinner, same old party. Same old, same old..." I continued in my mind. "Maybe I can meet someone. Anyone. We can talk and flirt a bit, then Tye will have to leave early, and leave me behind, and he'll offer me a ride home, an' half way there he'll just reach over an' kiss me, an' shove his hand under my dress, an' I'll moan, an' unzip the back an' shove my tits in his face an'..."
The accelerating, faceless fantasy was shattered by Tye's dull voice. "You almost ready, Chaz?"
"I suppose so," my voice came back, dully.
"Then we oughta go soon."
"Yeah, we oughta," echoed Tye, sounding just as bored.
"Uh huh..." I let the words and thought just run out and away, like sand dribbling from a shattered hourglass. Ours had just about run out, too.
Tye slouched toward the car, and I followed in silence. God, we used to talk to each other, even that. What happened to the marriage? We drove off into the early evening. By the time we'd get there, it'd be night, and by the time we'd get back it'd be late, and we'd get up on Saturday, and yawn, and he'd do his house and yard things, and I'd cook and clean.
"There had to be something else: is this all there is," I thought. As the car bumped and lurched down the narrow country lane, I leaned my head back in silence, and just remembered.
Named Penolope Chastity Yablonski, I took up calling myself, in college, first Chastity, then quickly, Chaz. I quickly met and married Olff Tyvaggerson McHenery, which he fast-laned to Tye. First an English professor, then in Insurance, now a market research writer, we made out OK, but nothing special. So here we are, kids grown and gone, decent country house, decent lives, decent social life, decent dull, dull, dull.
"OK, so I'm in my 40's, so what," I continued to myself. "My hair's not grey: well, not much. My waist is still pretty slender. Nice legs, I walk alot, alone. Still got my breasts." I felt the flare of temper, if only in my own mind, "OK, I've still got my Tits! So they're small, B-size (boobettes, really), but firm, not much sag, and nice, suckable, dark nipples..." The flare died as it'd flamed. "Much good all that does me, no one uses them any more. I'd like to meet someone (that faceless man, again), and stare at him, so that he'd know, without saying a word, that I wanted him to rip it out and thrust into...
Tye's voice broke in to my reverie, with a jolt. "Do you wanna stop for some coffee?"
Huh? But I replied, "I dunno, do you?"
I saw his lips tighten. "Well, do you or don't you?"
Damnit, how to break out of this spiral? But all I heard myself say was, "I dunno...whatever you want."
"We've gotta talk, so here's OK." He pulled out of the road, and into a cafe. One of those little out-of-the-way places you don't think twice about, except when you need coffee and talk. Food out front, a lounge back behind, a private members- only club. This was unpredictable, at least. What did he want?
I suppose it should have been a bombshell. Mostly, it was a fizzle. Both of us. Let's not play it out, line by line, you know what's coming. He'd been thinking about a divorce. I'd been daydreaming about a separation. He'd had an affair. I knew about it. I'd had fantasies, up to 20 a day, about other men; sometimes two, three, up to five men at once. He knew about most of them (I talk in my sleep, it seems). I never did anything about my fantasies.
He was bored. I was bored. Both of us, no something, no...zest. Nowhere to go. Even this conversation was boring, dull, flat. What was wrong here?
"So, that's it," Tye said, heavily.
"Looks like it," I replied, lifeless voiced.
"So let's go back to the house. I'll call the party and cancel out. You wanna do that?"
"I dunno, whatever you want."
He paid, and we left. The car wasn't over 30' from the cafe's door. We moved toward the car. Just a few steps.
In those few steps, panic flared inside. "It's ending," a voice screamed inside me, "do something!" What? "Anything?" What should I do? "You're going to loose him, right now. DO IT!" What was 'IT'? The car door opened, and I settled into my side of the seat. Tye got in, closed the door, and reached for the key to start the car.