Little Lies

My Jeep Cherokee hummed its way down the highway. Its complement of passengers all engaged in their own thoughts and pursuits. In the back, my two kids argued about which movie to watch on the rear entertainment screen. They knew.

Beside me, my wife of the past 20 years, fretted and sulked like a child. She didn't have a clue.

My wife, Joyce, is an average looking woman. She's no raving beauty, but she's also no troll. Her light brown hair curled gently around her face and set off her blue eyes well. Her legs, though a bit plump, had always been one of my favorite things about her. I preferred big legs on my women.

To keep things in proportion, God had seen fit to give her a relatively big butt too. Another thing I really appreciated though she'd tried for years to exercise it away.

She was smaller on top. Though I didn't prefer that, I didn't mind it either. Call me a sucker but I loved everything about Joyce. I'd been smitten by her from the first time I saw her 21 years ago.

Even though I was barely twenty at the time and she was only 22, I knew that she was the woman I was going to marry and spend the rest of my life with.

I guess one out of two isn't terrible, but it's not great either. I did marry her, but this would be the last day we ever spent together. Like I said the kids knew, but Joyce didn't have a clue.

We were on our way to our favorite state park for a family picnic. A last day together before my son Brian left to begin his second year at college and my daughter headed for Europe as an exchange student for her junior year of high school. Only God knew what arrangements we'd make for where she'd stay next year.

I was supposedly leaving on business, first thing in the morning. But really I was just leaving.

In the back seat apparently the kids had selected a movie and quieted down as we got on the freeway for the nearly two hour drive to the park. Picnics in this park had always been Joyce's favorite thing to do. She loved getting us all together away from our busy household and just spending some time together in a more relaxed and natural setting.

In recent years I suspected that she loved the park even more because I wouldn't ever drive my prized Mustang to the park. First, because I didn't want to expose the low sitting car's under carriage to the dirt roads and possible rust and corrosion. And secondly, because the car's back seat was simply too small for either one of our kids to fit into.

Joyce had been jealous of the car since the day we bought it. At first she considered it to be my third child. Then she started complaining that it was more like my second wife. I often told her that I needed another wife because with all of her causes and charity events, she was rarely around.

I looked at her face across the front seat. She'd actually stopped fretting and seemed to be more relaxed as we left the city limits. I reached for the stereo knob and turned on the radio. A Fleetwood Mac song was playing. I couldn't tell at first which song it was, but I recognized the signature rhythm section at once. Mick Fleetwood's frenetic all inclusive drumming style locked to John Mcvie's rock solid bottom end bass.

Many years ago, I'd played guitar in a few heavy metal bands. Before taking up the guitar, I'd been forced to play classical piano by my parents. They felt that I needed the discipline and structure in my life.

Music became an important part of my life that would carry me through the years. Even now I couldn't begin to take the first step of my daily run without my iPod. The music I listened to often influenced both my mood and the decisions I made on mundane matters. But music also seemed to sometimes reflect things that I was feeling. In this case, the song was almost prophetic.

The song "Little Lies," though not one of my favorites was eerily appropriate.

Joyce reached to adjust the station just as Christine Mcvie began to sing.

"If I could turn the page in time then I'd rearrange just a day or two," she sang.

"No, leave it on," I told Joyce.

"Close my, close my, close my eyes," sang Stevie Nicks and Lindsay Buckingham as back up singers.

"But I couldn't find a way. So I'll settle for one day to believe in you," sang Christine again echoing exactly our situation.

"Tell me, tell me, tell me lies" Oozed through the speakers so richly that they may as well have been sitting in the Jeep singing to us. In the rear view mirror, my daughter's eyes locked on mine. I could tell the significance and meaning of the song wasn't lost on her. As she turned back to her movie and Joyce looked out the window at the scenery, I thought about what the words of the song meant to me; to us.

I had always loved Joyce with all of my heart. She'd never been a raving beauty, even when we first met. I'd been attracted to her personality and upbeat attitude as much as anything else. Our shared experiences had brought us so close I'd thought that there was literally no one else on earth I'd ever considered being with.

All the way up until 2 weeks ago when I discovered that Joyce was cheating on me.

As Christine sang about rearranging a day or two I totally agreed with her. If I could turn that same page in time, the two days I'd change would have been the day Joyce met Matt Blake and maybe the first time she'd fucked him. But like in the song, I couldn't find a way, so I'm giving Joyce, one day. One last day with the family she claims to love. One more day with the husband she's betraying.

I'm giving her one idyllic last picture of perfection. A fun family picnic in her favorite place, before circumstances destroy everything we've built together over twenty fucking years and I move on with my life.

She reaches over and takes my hand as I drive. "I love you Bill," she says smiling. "I guess some times I lose track of that, but never doubt it for an instant."

Behind us my daughter snorts derisively. I'm not sure if it's a reaction to something in the movie she's watching, or to her mother's words. I find myself thinking, "Holy shit, talk about sweet little lies."

"I guess it's because you guys are always so busy with school and work and other activities. I get stuck at home and it seems like I don't have a life. That's why my groups and charities are so important to me," said Joyce.

"Jeezus Mother, why didn't you just get a dog?" asked my daughter from the back.

I didn't even think about it. I was running my mind over how Stevie Nicks' voice could still send chills up my spine after all of this time. Stevie was still hot too, and she had to be at least 50.

"You understand, don't you Bill?" asked Joyce. "Sometimes you see a situation and you realize that you just can't sit by and watch. You have to do something to end it."

"Oh he understands that, way more than you think he does," said my daughter Jessica.

"No arguing today, Jess," I said. "No unhappiness, no feuds. Let's just all spend today together as a family and let all of the unhappiness not touch it. Tomorrow we'll all be off to other things."

Joyce nodded and smiled. My eyes locked with Jessica's in the mirror and she bit her lip and said, "Okay."

Joyce squeezed my hand again and laid her head on my shoulder. She reached up to kiss me and at that instant I turned my head to read a sign we'd just passed. It was very smoothly done and I don't think that Joyce realized that I'd purposefully avoided her kiss. A series of tee-hees and giggles from the back seat let me know that my daughter hadn't missed it though.

I had to work on my acting skill. For the remainder of the day I had to pretend to be the dutiful, loving husband I'd always been. If I couldn't pull it off, my last gift to Joyce would be ruined.

As we ate away at the distance I found myself wondering why she did it. Had she just fallen out of love with me, or had she just never felt the way about me that I'd felt about her? Maybe it was like she said, we all had things to do that occupied our time, and she didn't.

But that was her decision. She was the one who'd decided that the rat race wasn't for her. She wanted to be a housewife and stay at home mom. Joyce had picked the home we bought, the cars we drove and the schools the kids attended. She was the one who decided when we went on vacation and where we went.

Everything we did had her stamp on it. If she'd ever been unhappy or bored, she could have said something. I wondered also what Matt Blake had to offer that was worth more to her than our marriage? Was it that he was younger? You really couldn't tell that he was younger than us though, with his receding hairline. And shit he was thirty five, I was forty, he wasn't that much younger.

I wasn't an Olympic caliber athlete but I'd kept myself in pretty good shape. Matt was kind of doughy. So maybe it wasn't an appearance kind of thing. Maybe like in those online divorce stories, Matt has a foot long dick that's four inches in diameter. He probably fucks her until she can't walk and leaves her begging for more. I smiled thinking about that, because I knew that wasn't true. I'd seen them together and still couldn't figure it out.

I was just lucky that after I suspected her and got the confirmation from the investigators that I had gotten a DNA test done. My kids actually are MY kids, though most people could tell that by looking at them.

Brian is totally me when I was his age. He's already met the girl he thinks he'll grow old with. Maggie Chu is a very petite Asian woman he met at school. I wonder if he trusts her as much as he did before we all sat down and talked about his mother. Brian isn't as good of an actor as Jessica and I are. He loves his mother very much but he's really upset with her. For the present he can't bring himself to even talk to her.

Jessica on the other hand is so pissed at her mom that she is dying to have it out with her. Jess is my biggest worry today. Though she's promised not to do anything to give it away, I have my doubts that she'll make it through the entire picnic without starting a shit-storm.

The scary thing is that Jess doesn't leave until after I do, tomorrow. I have a feeling that things will be interesting after I leave. Jess has no respect left for her mother. She's already told me that when she comes home from Paris next spring she wants to stay with me. I've let her know that she's always welcome, but she'll only be seventeen, so more than likely the judge will make that decision during the divorce.

Divorce, even the word hurts. It's funny how seven letters arranged in a particular order can bring your whole world tumbling down and make you hurt more deeply and longer than any physical blow.

As we drive into the park, I stop at a booth and pay the entry fee. "Maybe we should get one of those license plates that would give us access to the park without paying," says Joyce.

"With the kids away I didn't think we'd come here very much," I answer.

"This is one of our favorite places," says Joyce. "We'll come here whenever we can just as we always have."

"Just the two of us?" I said skeptically.

"Of course," she smiles. "Can't think of anyone I'd rather come here with."

Even as the words drip from her lying lips, I can hear Stevie Nicks' beautiful deep sexy voice singing, "Tell me lie-i-ies."

A few minutes later we were all engaged in unloading food, blankets and other things we'd need during the day.

"Jess, don't put the blanket too close to the grill," I yelled.

"Okay dadeee," she answered cheerfully. "I only had it that close for mom. She said she was cold."

"No Honey, I didn't," said Joyce. "You must be remembering another time that we were here."

By this time Jessica was near me and only I heard what she said.

"More like I was getting you used to the weather in hell, you whore," said Jessica under her breath. I turned and looked at her. For the first time I began to see what this breakup was doing to my kids. I knew that I'd been devastated, but the kids were suffering too.

Brian had Maggie to talk to about it and lean on emotionally. On the other hand Joyce's actions had also put a strain on their relationship too. He'd begun to trust her less and he'd also become much more suspicious of her goings and comings as well.

Then there was Jess. My little angel was obviously suffering from some anger issues. I was going to have to get together with her program director and arrange for her to see a therapist, and also stay in much closer contact with her myself. Also as soon as possible, I'd have to move out of the apartment I was planning to rent and into a house.

"Dad, are you ready to go over to the lake and see which one of us can throw a rock the farthest?" asked Brian. It was a family tradition. He used to win every year until he turned sixteen and I stopped letting him. For the past few years he'd inched ever closer to equaling my throws. Who knows maybe this would be the year he actually beat me. God knows that my heart wasn't in it.

"Later Champ," I said. "Let's get the grill lit and some food on first." He smiled and nodded. Then he pulled out his ever present phone and tried to call Maggie.

"Dad, there's no service here," he spat angrily.

I just laughed.

"Brian, race you to the lake," yelled Jessica as she took off before her brother even realized that they were racing.

That just left me to the moment I'd been dreading since the day began. Joyce had laid down a blanket on the grass and gestured for me to come over to her and sit down.

"I have to start the grill Honey," I said. "But save me a spot close to you. I've been looking forward to that all day," I said. Ooh shit my acting skills were getting better. Joyce wasn't the only one who could tell sweet little lies.

What occurred next though extremely childish was one of my greatest performances ever. Joyce blew me a kiss. I caught it in my left hand and spun around. When I came out of the spin I had my right hand up as if I'd caught it there and put it gently on my face. Un-noticed I threw the hand that actually caught the pretend kiss towards the ground as if I was throwing the kiss away, then stepped on it.

Joyce didn't notice the deception and smiled. "I wonder what you'd do with a real kiss?" she smiled.

"We'll find out later," I said. God Damn, these little lies were becoming contagious.

"I'm going to go out and find some wildflowers," she smiled. "Have something cooking for me when I get back. And if you see Jess send her my way, she loves to pick flowers too." I nodded as she started to walk away. Then she turned back at the last second.

"Bill, I'm really glad you insisted that I come today. There's nowhere I'd rather be right now. We have to spend more time together. We all get so busy doing things that aren't really nearly as important as spending time together. Maybe we've begun to take each other for granted because we've always been together and we know that we always will be. But from now on I want us to make it a point to do things together like we used to." Then she walked off smiling, in search of her flowers.

That was the sweetest little lie I'd ever heard. As the tear rolled down my cheek and I remembered how much I loved her, I couldn't help but think that if I hadn't forced her to come today, she'd probably be fucking Matt by now.

I got the charcoal out and put it into one of the built in grills that the park supplied. I saturated the coals with lighter fluid, because everyone knows that match light stuff just doesn't work. The repetitive nature of the tasks that I'd done literally hundreds of times allowed my mind to wander again.

I can still remember the way I cried after watching the DVD the investigators had given me. I'd watched it alone in my home office while Joyce was at one of her "Charity Meetings."

It showed that bastard Matt coming over to our house to see Joyce a few days before, when neither the kids nor I was there. Apparently charity began at home. Joyce smiled as she looked around to make sure that no one was watching and practically dragged him inside. The scene then shifted as they were picked up by one of the cameras planted in my living room.

They were sitting on my sofa having coffee but I could feel the tension between them even though I was only watching them on video. They talked about so many inane and mundane things that I wondered why the bastard put up with it. Finally it was Joyce whose hormones got the ball rolling. Yet another reason why there could be no forgiveness.

She asked him pointedly if he thought that her legs were too thick. She told him that her husband loved her legs but she thought they were old and fat. He told her that he couldn't tell from the parts that he was seeing. So naturally Joyce took that as her cue to raise her skirt up higher.

"Well the parts that I can see don't look bad," said Matt, his voice thick with lust, "but it's hard to make a decision based on partial information."

"I guess you want to see all the way up then," said Joyce smiling back at him. I could tell by the look on her face what she'd do next. I recognized that look as the same one she gave me when she was really horny.

Joyce pulled her skirt all the way up and revealed that she wasn't wearing any panties.

"Oh God," said Matt looking at her hairy bush.

"Come and get it," said Joyce. She leaned back on the sofa and spread her legs. Within seconds Matt was shedding his clothes and on her.

If I'd been expecting to see something out of this world or extremely kinky like in the porno movies, I was disappointed. From the angle of the cameras I couldn't see how well endowed Matt was but their movements didn't inspire lust.

It looked awkward and silly, like two people, both gifted with two left feet trying to dance. Seeing Matt's boney ass thrusting between Joyce's flabby thighs was simply hilarious. They couldn't seem to get to a rhythm and their moaning and groaning just seemed comical. I wonder whether lost in the throes of passion they realized how ridiculous their coupling looked?

I wonder if Matt realized what his actions would cost him. I was sure he had no idea of the hell his life would become within twenty four hours. And my beloved Joyce, I truly hoped that she'd end up happy in her new life. I'd decided to be a complete gentleman about all of this. I was going to be modern about it all. No caveman tactics here, after all the better man won, as he should. I'd simply assure that my children were taken care of and bow out.

My lawyers would deliver to Joyce my proposal for the divorce and settlement. There would be no negotiations. She either took what I offered, or she got nothing. I was actually offering her very little anyway, but if we went the divorce route, her name would be dragged through the mud in an extremely vicious way. I'd scorch the earth and her reputation in our town would be destroyed.

Neither the kids nor I'd be affected because Brian would be back in school halfway across the country and Jessica would be in Paris. By the time the mud-slinging was done Joyce wouldn't be accepted on any of her committees or charities, or anywhere else in town. She'd have to move away just to get a moment's peace.

The easiest thing for her to do would be to accept my terms and move on with her life as I was accepting her choice and moving on with mine. As I sat there in my den that day watching the two lovebirds engaged in their clumsy act of copulation I was so focused on the screen that I didn't notice my daughter come up behind me until it was too late.

She wiped away my tears and said, "So now you know."

I only looked at her and nodded my head. "I wanted to tell you Daddy, but I just couldn't find a way to do it without hurting you."

"How long have you known about this?" I asked.

"Since the beginning," said Jess. "They've been flirting for months but this has only been going on for about two weeks. As near as I can tell, they've only done it twice. I heard Mom telling her friend Susan that she was going to end it. So at least it'll be over soon."