I think this one is a little better than my last submission. Please let me know if you like it.
Rick stared at the computer screen in wonder, swept off in a river of thoughts. His mind reeled over the desire for Jane Preston to actually be as she described herself in her bio. And he was simultaneously filled with another sensation, which was probably envy. Rick felt envious of the people that did as they wanted to without fear of judgment.
In life Rick had always tried to follow his own path, and considered himself to be a fairly uninhibited person. But after reading about a person like Jane Preston he suddenly felt different: conservative and afraid. He had been married for several years and still loved his wife, but somehow things had slowed down. Maybe things had never really been that fast, but he remembered there used to be a quality of excitement. Their relationship at one time contained risk and abandon, but at some point those components seemed to have beenâŠabandoned. His wife Amanda was still willing to have sex, but never with any spirit of exploration. With her it was a âby the numbersâ routine, which ended with her orgasm. She seemed contented with that arrangement and never demonstrated any initiative in the bedroom. In many wayâs Rick was glad that Amanda seemed sexually satisfied, because he truly wanted her to feel happy and safe. As a result heâd tried to pull himself away from his own longings and sense of dissatisfaction.
Rick threw himself into a daily routine that was both an occupation and a distraction. Every morning he would wake up with Amanda and see her off to work. Next he would spend twenty minutes stretching and working out, followed by a light breakfast. And then with coffee in hand he would sit down in front of the blessed, infernal computer and spend the day trying to write. He would work on âjob-type workâ first, followed by âart-type workâ. Of course the âjob-type workâ was predictable and tedious, but it was that which allowed him to spend time doing the âart-type workâ, or more accuratelyâŠtrying to do the âart-type workâ. Rick would spend hours starting sentences, deleting words and pacing around the room pretending to smoke. Since heâd quit smoking he would pantomime with an empty Zippo and half a pencil. It was pretty pathetic. All this lasted for about a month, and then he caved in.
One day while taking an e-mail break, Rick decided to do a little porn surfing. He started by doing a search, and then just bounced around for a while, eventually landing at some big time professional sites. He took their tours and quickly found that they didnât do much for him, so he left in search of something else. He didnât know what it was, but he kept looking anyway. Occasionally he would stumble across an image that would cause a stir around his crotch, but for the most part he wasnât having much luck. As a teenager heâd discovered that in order to enjoy pornography you had to suspend your disbelief. And for him even though the âactorsâ were actually fucking, they were doing it for money and that somehow rendered it false, and for Rick that was not unlike a bucket of cold water. He suddenly felt defective.
âAm I the only idiot who intellectualizes pornography? Jesus, I just wanna scratch Yoda behind the ears.â Rick spoke out loud.
Heâd even set a roll of toilet paper nearby incase he found something worth masturbating to. âMaybe Iâll check the e-mail again.â Rick clicked on an icon, which brought him to his mail-server.
While casually examining the homepage Rick made an observation. âHow come I never noticed all this?â The homepage offered many features, including various âonline profilesâ. âI wonder who does this?â Rick questioned while clicking on the profiles menu. A search option quickly appeared. After examining the form Rick filled in a few of the fields:
gender: female
age: 25-35
keywords:
Rick considered this for a moment, wrestling with mixed emotions. âShould I indulge my private pervert?â He pondered for a breath or two, and then made a compromise. âIâll indulge it a little.â He said and for keywords he typed âslut.â
Rick felt a stir of excitement as a new page opened up, displaying a dozen screen names. âWow.â He dumbly spoke. While sitting up with interest he clicked on the name âSLUT-4-Uâ, anxiously awaiting the new page.
The page opened filling the screen, and was adorned by a large picture of âSlut-4-uâ. Rickâs mouth hung open as he stared at the image. She was a beautiful twenty-six year old woman, wearing a garter belt and sitting spread eagle on a bed. Her facial expression matched her screen name.
âShe canât be for real.â Rick spoke to himself in disbelief, continuing on to read her bio: I am a 26-year-old bi-sexual woman, looking for safe and fun encounters with the right people. Send me a picture and maybe weâll get to know each other.
âThis canât be real.â Rick insisted to himself. âWomen arenât really like that. They only exist in pornography made by men. Itâs gotta be a scam.â In a flash Rick felt his entire sexual understanding rush through him. It occurred to him that the boundaries he had always assumed applied to everyoneâŠmight not. Anxiously he began to explore the profiles trying to refute his discovery. He did more searches, which including new (and for Rick, taboo) keywords (like anal dikes & lesbian twins with strap-ons) and he continued to find listing for âreal peopleâ, and with each affirmation his prick rose until he had to undo his zipper. For the sake of masturbation on most days he would achieve a âserviceableâ hard-on, but at that moment he had achieved a âfuckingâ hard-on. Intermittently Rick would jerk his engorged meat, between mouse clicking and typing, and caring not to transfer any pre-cum from the dripping head of his cock to his keyboard. Many hours passed, and eventually his front door opened.
âHi honey.â Amanda called from the front room, relieved to be home. All she wanted to do was have a bath and then watch television with a little bowl of âChunky Monkeyâ ice cream.
âHey babeâ Rick said while walking out from his workroom, having successfully hidden any signs of jerking off. He gave Amanda a kiss. âHow was your day?â
âExhausting. Iâm gonna get in the tub.â She answered while walking towards the bathroom.