I awoke at 6.45 to the sounds of stirring down the hall in the children’s room, it was Saturday and no school, but that never seemed to matter, once they awoke the new day was theirs to explore. How I yearned to snuggle up to my husband and revive the passion of the days before our parenthood, too often any intimacy between us was interrupted by the children or the phone. If I did not get up they would be jumping all over us and the least I could do was give Brian a sleep in.
He was a good provider and father but the comfort of time together, the commitments of family and business had dulled the passion once so much enjoyed. As I slipped out of bed and into the living room I fondly glanced at his face in peaceful sleep, the lines beginning to indicate the onset of middle age, the greying stubble and the beginnings of a receding hair line. Mmmm I thought, I wonder how he saw me after all this time. Yes, there certainly were a few extra pounds and laughter lines about my eyes, despite my efforts to remain attractive and sexy.
After fixing breakfast for the children and allowing the T.V. to be turned on, I thought he must be awake by now, so with a cup of tea in hand I opened the door to our bedroom. At the same time the slap of a closing magazine, the arm quickly flying from beneath the doona and that very guilty look made my heart sink. Why did he need to look at those magazines he kept beneath the bed in order to get off? When I wanted and needed him. Did my mother and housekeeping role make me less attractive? Had I simply become more familiar or had he tired of me?
Too often in the evening he would be asleep before I had cleaned my teeth or if I slid my fingers down along his lower abdomen more often than not he complained he was too tired… may be in the morning.
In the morning…. Impossible! The daily routine, the ringing of the telephone or the children invading the bedroom, there was no chance for even a quickly. So sadly our life had slipped into a familiar acceptance of each other and he was content to get his rocks off looking at those plastic young girls in the magazines.
'Cup of tea dear?'
'Yep, great, thanks, lovely morning…' I looked at Brian suspiciously.
'I know what you've been doing'
'Me nothing darling, just sitting here enjoying the morning, the happy sounds of our wonderful family…..'
I went closer and with our eyes locked together I quietly slipped my hand under the doona cover.
'What's this then?' 'Just thinking of you dear'
'And what's this a magazine on gardening?'
' Just doing research dear. Like pop stars do'
In my hurt I could not resist meanly squeezing the base of his penis but before I could inflict further pain our daughter interrupted with a complaint about her brother.
'We'll talk about this tonight, OK, I want you to show me the mags and explain to me what it is you see in them.'
'OK, sure.'
I went back to the kitchen feeling rejected and angry. What had happened to us, life was passing bye and with it were we growing apart?
As I went about the morning chores my mind was a whirl of confusion? What did he really want? What does he see in the magazines? What was I lacking? Should I try taking the initiative more often? In the past that never seemed to work, Brian would either act embarrassed or laugh of my attempts to come on to him. That resulted in my backing off in embarrassment and frustration. I guess being a boring accountant he could not bring himself to be a bit more wild and exciting. I wish he would be more overt but we had married with little experience and the very strict religious up bringing made both of us rather shy and I certainly found it hard to overcome my inhibitions. As the day progressed I planned my strategy for our “ talk”
'Alright we need to talk.'
'Yes dear, I'm really sorry it won't happen again, I promise, never.. I'll get rid of them tomorrow.'
'Tonight….'
'Fine, absolutely, tonight.'
'I meant tonight I want you to show me the mags and explain to me what it is you see in them.'
'Ah .. Right, absolutely, fine..'
I nonchalantly flipped through the pages of the magazines making cryptic comments as I went, becoming bolder as I noticed Brian’s deepening embarrassment. As his agitation increased I became even more game and began massaging my pussy. This seemed to give Brian the idea that the magazines were turning me on, which they were, but more it was an excuse to try and encourage him to give me what I needed.
I then took hold of his penis and began to stroke it while still managing to turn over the pages of his mag with my other hand. It seemed to be working, he looked over towards me and gently stroked my face, he traced his fingers down my neck toward my breast, my nipples responded as he circled them lightly. The images on the pages were a blur. Brian was actually teasing me in a way he had not done in years I was electric with anticipation. His hands worked their way down and he found my wetness, the magazine fell to the floor as he turned me towards him, at last I thought, he really wants me, but please keep teasing more and for longer. Please rub my G spot, please go down on me. But NO. He entered me all too quickly pumping hard and fast OHHHHH he growled as he came, Ohhh I purred squeezing my vaginal walls together… faking orgasm.
