If her Audi had not needed maintenance, Kurt's wife Shelly would have driven herself to her regular Saturday morning round of golf.
If their classmate's mother had not offered to take the kids to their swimming lessons, he would have had to drive them, and Shelly would have gotten a ride from someone else.
And if she had not forgotten her cell phone on the center console of his Porsche Cayenne, he would not have turned around and parked at the Glenwood Country Club and gone in to give it back to her.
But all those things happened, and so he found himself under the eaves of the main building, near the first tee, where the available pros waited to see if anyone needed them to complete a foursome. His wife and her companions were teeing up, and though golf was not his game, he knew enough not to disturb the players as they prepared to take their swing.
As usual, his wife looked great: her short, white skirt revealing her long, tanned, athletic legs; her orange and green polo shirt clinging suggestively to her sporty breasts; and her long, blond hair in a pony-tail, sticking out the back of her baseball cap.
He wasn't the only one appreciating the view.
"Shit!' exclaimed one of the young pros standing nearby. 'We're too late. She's already picked her fourth."
"Who? What are you talking about?" asked his companion. They both looked to be in their early twenties.
"The blonde in the white skirt."
"Oh yeah. I'd like to be in a foursome with her," the second fellow said with a tone that made clear he wasn't just talking about golf.
"Been there, done that," the first fellow boasted. "Six or seven times. And I gotta tell you, she could suck the chrome off a 5-iron."
"And how would you know that?" scoffed his companion.
Kurt, too, figured the first fellow was blowing smoke, making up a bullshit story as some guys like to do.
"Hey, man, I've sunk my putt into all three of her holes."
"Yeah, right."
Kurt was amazed at the audacity of the lie. Sure, Shelly liked sex and was an enthusiastic partner in bed – and no hole was off limits with her – but she wasn't some slut who slept with random guys like this golf pro. She was his loving wife, as faithful to him as he had always been to her. Her holes were reserved for his use alone.
He was about to have a word with the young man, to set him straight, when he heard an additional detail that made him pause.
"Seriously. She comes here like almost every Saturday, always with the old dude and some other dude."
The "old dude" in question was Ron Esterfield, the silver-haired CEO of the company where Kurt worked, who had just knocked his ball a few hundred yards down the fairway. He and Shelly golfed together regularly. Nearly every Saturday, in fact. Usually with one of the company's big customers.
"You mean that dude?" interrupted the second fellow, tilting his head toward the gentleman stepping up to the tee.
Kurt recognized him. It was Howard "Howie" Thornton, the strikingly obese CEO of Almatics, for whom Kurt's company had done some work and hoped to do much more.
"It's not the same guy every time. In fact, it's usually guys I don't recognize, so they're probably not even members. Anyways, she always picks out a fourth from among the pros. If I hadn't been showing you around, we would have had a chance—especially you, 'cause you're new. But she's already picked Calvin, that prick."
He was referring, presumably, to the tall, muscular, African-American man who was getting ready to take his turn at the tee. He looked to be about ten years younger than Kurt and Shelly.
"A chance at what?"
"It's the same routine every time. We play a short nine, then we slip off the course to this little house just through the trees by the ninth green. It's the guest house of a place I think the old dude owns and rents out to some other people. Anyways, everybody goes in and the old dude serves drinks while she strips off her clothes. Then the old dude eats her out. Man, he really knows how to do oral. You should hear her squeal."
Kurt had heard Shelly squeal many times. She had a tendency to do that when she got excited ... in bed.
"Then what?"
"The guest goes first, in whichever hole he wants. Then the old dude takes his turn, usually in another hole. Then the pro goes last, 'cause we're the hired help."
"No shit?"
Kurt felt faint, his world shifting and uncertain.
"When the guys have all gotten off, the old dude refreshes our drinks while she takes a quick shower, and then we all make our way back to the clubhouse -- by way of the eighteenth hole, so everybody else thinks we played a full game."
"Un-fucking-believable."
Kurt thought back to the many times he had waited at the clubhouse for Shelly, and met her and her companions as they returned from the links, smiling and laughing. She would always give him a loving, possessive hug, and the men would give him a friendly handshake. Their farewells to Shelly were always along the lines of "Looking forward to doing it with you again sometime."
"It gets better," continued the young golf pro. "She's married."
"To the old dude? Is he one of those perverts who gets off on watching his wife fuck other guys?"
"Nah. I think her husband works for the old dude. When he talks with the guest, he says things like, 'I think you'll be pleased to have her husband on your project. He's top-notch and very reliable.'"
"Top-notch and very reliable" sounded just like something Esterfield would say, thought Kurt.