Law of the Heart: Romantic Ending

Author's Note:

With his permission, this is an alternate ending to the truly fascinating story, "Law of the Heart", by Headhuntertales.

*

Jake spoke so angrily, he almost growled. "Go on Jill, make your statement. Give your deposition. But remember you are under a marriage oath. You MUST be truthful. Tell me everything and omit nothing. If you don't, if you lie, then there will be a death of some kind. You might say an execution of relationships... husband/wife, son/father, friends/lovers, maybe even mother/son."

The sky grew darker and more foreboding as Jill began to whisper her testimony.

"The reunion weekend... It was so nice to get away... Do you know that it was the first time in 6 months I was off by myself for longer than a trip to the store? I was by myself, no husband to worry about, no Jake Junior to do things for, just me. All by myself, in Miami. The resort was so beautiful. The warm tropical breezes, rum drinks, hot salsa music. Beautiful people.... Jake, it was just so sexy there," Jill sobbed.

"I only had to think of me for a little while, nobody else."

I didn't respond to her, but I asked myself, "Does geography make a person unfaithful? No, but being in an anything-goes, hedonistic place, away from family and friends who would watch what you do and hold you accountable, leads people to do things they wouldn't normally do. Old Frank, the voyeur, gets an eyeful of those northern women every day. It's not just Jill!" I continued to stare at my wife, until she became uncomfortable and finally continued.

"Jake, everyone was there and we were having such a good time. It was as if I was back in school. Before us, before Jake Junior. It was as if I was my own person again. Not responsible for anything or anyone but myself. I've been doing a lot of thinking. People need unconditional love from parents, friends and their spouse but seldom get it. What they get is love conditional on their performance in meeting someone else's goals. Before school, my parents controlled me. They gave me conditional love. I was just... well... almost a thing to be manipulated for their emotional satisfaction. School was a change but, still, there were expectations from all sides. Then I met and married you.

"I have always let you be your own person Jill. I have always given you space if you told me you needed it," I responded. My voice was dull and unemotional.

"I know Jake. It's not anything you have done. Its just family life is so... I've never had a chance, as a young woman, to be free to do what I wanted. I've always done what others expected. You remember my friend Julia? She let her inner slut out at nineteen and got pregnant by a sixteen-year-old high school kid. She had to give up her baby for adoption. Her husband is very supportive of her but she feels as if she abandoned her baby. She is torn apart emotionally. That certainly wasn't the sort of thing I wanted to do."

I couldn't help but interrupt. "You wanted to get married Jill. I thought as much as I did. And I know you wanted to have a baby...."

This time Jill stopped me. "Yes, I did. I wanted marriage and a baby. I love you Jake... Oh God this is so hard! I am so sorry I've hurt all of us."

"Do you want me to help Jill. I'll ask some questions if it will help you get it out. But before I do I want to hear that one thing from your loving lips." I stressed the word 'loving' and saw Jill flinch. "Just say it, Jill."

I saw the tears well up in her eyes again. Nothing was said for several minutes. The only sound was Jill's quiet sobs. Finally she whispered, "I was unfaithful to you, Jake. I am so sorry! I was such a fool!"

"What, I didn't hear you!"

"I was unfaithful."

"You fucked someone else, Jill?" I said rhetorically. "You cheated on me?"

"Yes, damn it... YES! Please stop torturing me with it. I know that you know! I know.... And it is killing me. I am so sorry!"

I couldn't help but laugh at that. "If it is killing you Jill ... just imagine what it is doing to me!"

She couldn't respond and just hung her head.

After another few minutes of silence I finally said, "Knowing the type of infidelity will make understanding it easier. Tell me Jill, is this a one-night stand or will it be a long-term affair? Were you drugged? Did you cheat due to a mid-life crisis? Did you cheat because I couldn't satisfy you? Maybe you have a sexual addiction and can't help yourself."

I let those reasons sink in for a moment, then continued, "Jill, did I do something wrong? Maybe you did this as an act of retaliation? Did you do it to get even for something I did? Or are you looking for a way out. Did you cheat as a way to force our marriage to end?"

I had just listed all the reasons that I could think of for a person to cheat on their spouse. I really wanted to know why Jill had done it. Knowing 'WHY' would help me determine if our marriage could survive.

"Oh Jake no...Let me think. I am so confused...."

"Well let me go through them one at a time. Maybe it won't be so difficult that way. OK Jill, was this a one-night stand or will it be a long term affair?"

"This is the first and only time... I promise Jake... I have never been unfaithful to you before."

I noted to myself that she didn't say she would be unfaithful in the future, but I let it go for now. I would be coming back to that point. "Were you drugged, then taken advantage of Jill."

"Oh Jake, I had a lot to drink. But I did it myself, no one forced me too."

"So you can't claim rape then, can you Jill."

"No, I can't. I was swept up in something, but I wasn't forced to go along... I am responsible. I was out on the boat almost all day. The heat and humidity, the wind, the sun off the water and the motion of the boat exhausted me. I had a headache from mild sunstroke or heat exhaustion. I even had sunburn in my eyes. I was zonked. I was susceptible to doing things I wouldn't ordinarily do."

"Well maybe...." I said before catching myself. "But, are you having some kind of mid-life crisis?"

"I don't know Jake ...maybe. Its not that I am unhappy, I love you and little Jake, but like I said before... I... I... I felt so free and irresponsible. It felt good for a short time. But, yes, in a sense I am having a female mid-life crisis. I'm thirty-five; my best years are behind me. A girl's looks begin to fade. Things begin to sag. Things hurt that never hurt before. When we're young, we think we can live forever, but now we know better. This was a chance to be young one last time."

At the words "felt good", I made a little 'hurrrruuuuummmmp' sound. Jill noticed and her face fell. She hadn't meant it in a sexual way, but she could tell that I had taken it that way.

"Do you have a sex addiction, Jill? Are you a nymphomaniac or something now?"

"Oh God Jake no... I won't deny that I have been thinking a lot about the experience... but it is not an addiction."

"I guess I don't satisfy you anymore?"

Jill began to sob! "Jake... no you are a wonderful..."

After a few minutes Jill collected herself. "Like I just said, I have been thinking a lot about that night. Jake, I won't lie to you..."

"You had better not lie," I growled.

"This may hurt you. Listen, you are a great husband and lover. I love making love with you. But this one night was something different. Jake, I have never had a night like that before! It wasn't better than when we are together. Just different. It was... it was..."

"Amazing, Jill.... Isn't that what you want to say. It was amazing. I heard you tell Sally that on the phone."

"Damn it ... Yes Jake, it was amazing. You've given me orgasms like that but it all seemed so different. OK... that's the truth. But it doesn't mean I love you less. Happy now that I have said it? I loved every minute of it. Yes, it was amazing. Strangely enough, though, I've been wondering why it was amazing."

"How many times did you cum Jill?"

No response...

"How many... 1, 2, 4, 6, 10..."

"Stop, please... stop..."

"How many Jill... more orgasms than I have ever given you..."

"No, damn you... NO! I came and came and came... I must have cum eight to ten times... over and over again. But you know you've done that with me many times. You know that I've had to beg you to stop because the muscle strain from the contractions hurt so much. You know that you can easily give me six to ten orgasms."

I admitted, "That's true and I'm average. Any man can do it if he is willing to concentrate on his partners's satisfaction."

I sat in silence.... Finally I said. "It was Juan, right?"

Meekly Jill said, "Yes, it was Juan." She knew how I hated him. She knew that having a fling with him was the worst thing she could do. "I'm so sorry I've hurt you," she added burying her face in her hands. She had finally said her lover's name.

"You know, Jill, I am not a big stud like Juan Mendoza. I don't have the time to work out at the gym, or have cosmetic surgery or work on my tan so I look like a Greek God! But, I'll tell you something. Its unlikely for one man to give you 10 orgasms in one night."

"What do you mean?" Jill asked looking confused.

"Well Jill, you are a bigger slut than you think you are. How may times did Juan cum in your mouth, in your pussy, maybe even in your ass?"

"No, not my ass..."

I cut her off, "I am glad for that, but I guess that taboo about cumming in your mouth is now broken. How many times did cum shoot into your mouth, into your pussy?"

"I don't know... I lost count. 5 or 6 times..."

"Five or Six times Jill... that means three for Juan and three for Hector?"

"What...WHAT?"

"That's what I meant when I said you were a bigger slut than even you thought. One man can't cum six times in a night, Jill! But two can! You were fucked by two men, Jill... Both Juan and Hector filled your body with cum, and you didn't even know. I guess all cocks look alike when you are swallowing them. It's a good thing the Mendoza's aren't triplets or you might still be in Miami being fucked!"

"Ohhhh Noooooo...," Jill wailed, realizing the truth of it. "I was exhausted from the boat ride. I was falling asleep between sex acts. He... whichever one... had to wake me up each time. That's probably why I didn't know Hector was there too."

I insisted, "The fact of the matter is, the sex was not amazing. The atmosphere was amazing but the sex was very ordinary. Each one only gave you a few orgasms. You know I've done much better than that!"

"Yes, you have. I love the way you always make sure I cum first. I talk to a lot of women and I hear constantly about men getting their rocks off and leaving their women high and dry. You are an incredibly considerate lover. And, you know, I hadn't thought about the atmosphere before. You're right. That's what was amazing! I was so tired I couldn't really remember much of what happened. It's all so hazy in my mind. That makes it so easy to think it was something it wasn't."

"Do you want a divorce Jill? Is that what you want? Do you want out? All you had to do was ask. You didn't have to become the Mendozas' personal fuck toy!"

"NO... I love you Jake... Oh Jake..."

"Are you going to see them again?"

"Juan called me. He wanted to come to Boston and have me visit him in his hotel."

"And you said... what, to that offer?"

"I'll tell him NO... Of course."

"But you didn't tell him 'NO' when he asked? You would have seen him, wouldn't you?"

She didn't respond.

I continued, "But now that you are caught, you will tell him 'NO". Only now, when caught. Do you know what would happen, Jill? Boston is not exactly the Paris of North America. It is not remotely erotic. You know what Andy Warhol said? "Sex without love is the biggest nothing in the world." The sex would be a big nothing. Juan wouldn't offer you a relationship. If you followed him to Florida, you'd be the fill-in between the young pussy that comes off the boat every week. You're thirty-five years old. Could you handle being just the spare pussy when Juan couldn't get anything else? Your parents would disown you. Your mother would be heartsick to lose her grandchild. Could you live with yourself?"

"You're right, Jake. I couldn't live with myself. I couldn't live with Juan, either. He's just a selfish little boy in a man's body. He's only interested in sex, nothing else. He's still a teenager. A woman wants an emotionally mature man, like you, and to have a relationship with him."

Jill chose to play her trump card. "Can we get past this Jake? Please, can we continue to be a family? You and I... and Little Jake. We both need you, and I know that you need your family. It is who you are. You need us as much as we need you."

"So because I am a family man who tries to do his best and do the right thing I should just take you back and ignore what you have done. Is that what you are saying Jill?"

"Yes... No... I don't know. I am so confused."

You didn't seem confused when you were wrapping your legs around Juan Mendoza. You didn't seem confused when you were pressing your tits against him on the boat."

"What, how did you know..."

I regained my calm exterior; "It doesn't matter. What does matter is that I know. I know everything. I also know that you are right. I do need my family. I need my son. And yes, Jill, I need you. I just don't know right now how I need you."

Jill thought about this and appeared to come to a decision.

"I know what I did was so horribly wrong that I didn't feel I had any right to confront you about your own behavior. But, I think we need to address what we've both done. I hadn't wanted to tell you this, but I know how you know everything! And quite frankly, you owe me an explanation for your bizarre and unloving behavior. Let's start with my rings? They were either sent here to you or you were in Florida when the boat came in. If they were sent here, only some one on the boat could have done it. We can rule out Juan, Hector, Hector's wife and Sally. I called Bill and asked him. He didn't do it. So, you were there, saw the boat come in and saw me rub my tits on Juan. You, my courageous and manly husband, were standing by the walkway from the dock, saw me walk by, noticed my rings were gone, lovingly said nothing to me, went onto the boat and retrieved them yourself. How am I doing so far, Mr. Self-righteousness? Do we need to talk about the charges I saw on the Visa bill when you changed flights?"

I almost choked. She nailed me, but good!

"Let's keep going," Jill said scornfully. "Jake, my lionhearted husband, spent the evening and night bravely skulking in the shadows, spying on my activities, while never having the guts to make his presence known. Every woman wants a husband who loves her so much that he will do anything to defend and protect her, who will risk her wrath when he stops her from doing something she wants to do but shouldn't do. She wants a husband who will die for her, if that's necessary. Do you love Jake Junior so little that you would let him play in the middle of the Mass Pike to see if he had sense enough to move off the road before he was run over? Of course not, but that's about what you did with me. Why didn't you love me enough to keep me from doing something stupid? Jake, you're my husband. Are you the courageous man I married, the man who tilted at windmills to right wrongs? Does that describe you today? Or, have you changed into someone I don't even know anymore?"

I couldn't answer; Jill was right. I had been such a fool and a coward and I hadn't shown her much love. If I had loved her, I would have let her know I was there and stopped this whole situation from escalating past the point of no return. Why, oh why, hadn't I simply said at the dock, "Hi, Jill, I'm here."

"Another thing, Jake, while we're on the subject of infidelity. Have you ever been unfaithful to ME? And be truthful!"

"Nooo." Oh, no. This isn't going to be good. Jill will hand me my head.

"Jake, have you ever asked another woman to have sex with you?"

"Yeah, I have." I whispered guiltily with my head down. I couldn't look Jill in the eye.

"Jake, have you ever been asked by another woman to have sex?"

"Yeah. And there have been plenty of women who made it plain, without my asking, that they were available to me."

"Jake, you remember Naomi who was pure sex? If you had met her at the resort in Miami, would you have fucked her?"

"Yeah, in an heartbeat!" Damn. I hung my head. Jill was hammering me where it hurt.

"Jake, what about Cindy? You've had a thing for her since you met her four years ago when she was seventeen."

"Noooo..." I groaned. Please, no, let's not talk about Cindy.

"NO? Everyone has seen the way your faces light up like the sun when you see each other. People ask me if you're having an affair with her. When she sees me, she asks for you. If I wasn't around, you'd marry her in a heartbeat, wouldn't you?"

"Yeah, I would." I couldn't deny the obvious. Damn! What the hell was I? How could I call Jill names when I was little better?

Silence... "Jill, I am so ashamed. I let you down when you needed my love and support the most! I guess we've let each other down and we both have a lot to answer for."

"You're right, so please come home, Jake! I forgive you. Please forgive me." my wife begged.

"Do you want me home or is that the lawyer in you Jill. You know what it means if I come home."

I opened a law book on my desk to a page I had marked. Then I continued, "You know what this says a well as I do."

Marriage is a contractual relationship between a man and a woman that vests the parties with a new legal status.

"Marriage is unlike other contractual relationships in that it creates a status that may not be terminated at will by the parties, but only by a court, as by a divorce. It is thus often said that the state is a third party to any marriage."

At hearing the word Divorce Jill had to catch her breath. But I continued.

"While "no-fault" divorces have become increasingly common in all U.S. states, there are still many cases where marital partners seek to establish fault, particularly in states that require a waiting period of legal separation before allowing a "no-fault" divorce. The most common grounds are adultery, desertion, and physical or mental cruelty. Habitual drunkenness, incurable mental illness, conviction of a crime, nonsupport, or constructive abandonment are other grounds for establishing fault. Corrupt consent by a party to the conduct of the other party bars a divorce, as does collusion. Forgiveness of the offense, either express or implied (as by cohabitation), on condition that it not be repeated, is a bar to a divorce for that offense."

"So there it is Jill. If I come home and live with you I am implying forgiveness, and I could not get a divorce for your infidelity."

"I know Jake, but please come home. We need you. Forgiveness should be automatic. The only person hurt by not forgiving is the one who was wronged. Forgetting will take longer and a lot of work for both of us together. We both have a lot to forget."

"Yes, here it is," I thought to myself. If I went home, no matter what else I did, I would not be getting a divorce, at least not a divorce for Jill's adultery. I would be accepting what had happened. Not necessarily forgiving or forgetting, but accepting it. The court would assume that I had given at least implied consent and forgiveness because we were cohabiting. The court would not grant a divorce for her infidelity. I had to choose. Stay away and get a divorce, or go home and lose the option.

"Accept, but not forgive or forget?" I mumbled softly. I thought of Mary, the girl I had dated one year in college. She had a tough life; she was a foster child and an alcoholic. I broke up with her by standing her up one Friday night. That was one of the most disgraceful things I have ever done. When I saw mutual friends in later years, they gave me the news of Mary's latest attempt to become sober. They also said that she always asked about me. She forgave me because she loved me. I would give almost anything to be able to see her and tell her how sorry I was for my behavior. If Mary could forgive me, could I do anything less for Jill? I could honor Mary by forgiving Jill. Yes! Maybe then I could heal my own self-inflicted guilt caused by my pathetic behavior that day at the dock.