Chapter 6 (Ending 1)
Jake stopped at a bar on the way home and had a couple of drinks. His anger was barely contained.
"I know I could have stopped it he said to himself, but I shouldn't have had to. She should have never done those things. I can't be with her 24/7. Husbands and wives have to know that their partner will do the right thing. It's not my fault she cheated."
Stopping at a bar was something that he never did. He might be late getting home, but it was always because of work. Tonight he was making Jill wait... and he hoped suffer just a bit.
Jill could smell the bourbon on him when he came into the house.
Because of the time he knew that Jill and Jake Junior had already eaten dinner. So he stumbled into the living room and flopped into an overstuffed chair.
Jill looked at him with a hard glance then ushered their son towards his bedroom. "Come'on honey. Time for bed."
"I see... Daddy..."
"No, its bed time! You can see Daddy tomorrow," Jill answered as they entered the child's bedroom.
"Dam," I thought to myself, "Now this whole thing with Jill was affecting my relationship with my son!"
My emotions continued to churn just under my controlled exterior. It was about 10 minutes later when Jill tiptoed quietly down the hall, back to the living room.
"He's asleep," she said softly. Then she added, "You missed dinner."
I didn't respond.
"Jake, tell me why are you acting so horrible?"
She's decided that a good defense was a strong offense, I thought to myself. Something lawyers are taught early in their training.
I wasn't falling for it. So I didn't answer, but went on the offense with a question of my own. "Where are your rings Jill?"
She looked down at her hands. When she did her hair bounced. She had it pulled back into a pony tail. Just like that day on the Mendoza's boat. I had a vision of her standing topless. Tits bouncing as the boat skimmed across the waves. The Mendoza twins watching her red tipped orbs as they danced enticingly.
I looked away, trying to calm myself.
"I left them in Miami, by mistake. I took them off to go swimming so I wouldn't loose them. My friend Susan has them and will be sending back."
Her voice got a little firmer. "I am sorry, but that's no reason to be such an ass, Jake."
She thought I was just mad about the rings.
She again went on the offense. "I see you don't have your ring on!"
I unbuttoned my collar and pulled the leather lace out with my ring attached. I let it swing slowly. Her eyes followed the gold back and forth.
"I'll tell you what Jill, when you have your rings on your finger, I'll put mine back on. Is that fair?"
She didn't answer. Her embarrassed face looked down at the floor.
"How is good old Susan, by the way? Is she still a big trouble maker?" Attacking her friend got Jill's attention.
"I thought you liked Susan," Jill flashed.
"No, I only put up with her because you like her Jill. I think when you get around her you loose your common sense. She's a trouble maker."
"Well she's my friend, and I like...."
I interrupted, "Yeah, you like her and let her lead you into all sorts of bad situations. So what kind of trouble did she get you into in Miami... Other than forgetting you were married."
"WHAT...." Jill almost screamed. "What do you mean by that?"
"I mean forgetting your wedding ring." I answered with an insincere smile. "That's all I mean Jill. Is there something else?"
I knew by the way she looked at me she was torn. I think a part of her wanted to confess, but she couldn't do it.
She ignored my last statement and answered, "Well Susan is MY friend. I don't complain about Bill and Meredith do I?"
"No Jill you don't. I guess you are just a Saint. You would never to anything to hurt someone else would you?"
After a long uncomfortable silence, Jill finally said, "This is getting us no where Jake. I think you are still sick. Why don't you go to bed?"
I left her and went back to the guest room. Later that night when I walked to the kitchen to get as drink of water I could hear Jill on the phone in the Master bedroom.
I heard her raise her voice, "Susan, YOU HAVE to find my rings."
Pause "I don't know."
Pause "Ask Juan."
Pause "On the boat I think."
Pause "Please... I can tell he thinks something happened. If I get my rings back he will let it go. Then everything will be OK."
Pause "Stop it."
Pause "I can't think about it."
Pause "No! I already told you all the details.
Pause Yes, amazing. But......" Then her voice got softer and I couldn't distinguish the words.
For the first time in days I smiled to myself. "Susan was going to have a hard time finding those rings." I thought to myself as I sipped my glass of water.
Then I pondered her other words "....amazing...," That's what she had said. My smile quickly turned back into a frown.
Now the rage was draining from my body. She had said it was "amazing." How could I compete with "amazing?"
God, I was going to lose her. I finally realized what that meant. I would be alone. I would lose the two people who meant the most to me. Did I want that?
I loved her and Little Jake so much. I couldn't lose them. The rage was slipping away.
I had to keep them.
What needed to happen for my family to stay together and be happy? Anger gave way to a mental negotiation. I began to review and consider everything that had happened. I weighed each event. My part and Jill's part were considered. I had entered the bargaining stage that my old law professor had told my class about.
In a sense I had already made a bargain with Jill, when I told her I would put my ring on when she did the same with hers. And like any good lawyer, I had a secret. I knew where all the evidence was. Or at least I thought I did.
"The rings will be our first and most important bargain. I will have to give her a few days to get desperate, and realize it." Then I would be negotiating from a position of strength. Just like a lawyer should.
The next morning I tried to be my usual bright and sunny self. I fixed Jake his cereal while Jill started the coffee and poured the OJ.
"Looks like your feeling better." Jill observed. But there were stress lines around her eyes.
I smiled. "Yes, I feel better. A good rest and thinking through problems does wonders."
Jill gave me a wane smile. "I'll call Susan today and get my rings."
"I am sure Susan will be a big help. Let me know when you get them and then I'll put mine back on."
We sat quietly for awhile watching Jake Junior fly his spoon full of cereal into his mouth.
"So who else did you see at the reunion Jill? I know Bill and Meredith. Anybody else? How about Juan and Hector? I am sure they were there. They still live in Miami, right?" Jill didn't say anything.
I continued, "Come on Jill, please tell me. Otherwise I'll have to call Bill and Meredith to get all the dirt on our classmates. I would much rather YOU tell me everything. After all you are my wife." I was bargaining with her now.
"Please tell me Jill." I looked in her eyes. "If you tell me I am sure I would be much more understanding of everything that everybody did. I would rather hear it from you than second hand from somebody else. But you know that I'll find out all about the reunion sooner or later. So you tell me. Please."
There it was! I couldn't be much plainer than that. I was negotiating with her for her to confess. It would be better for us both. At least I hoped it would.
I decided I needed to give her some time. Getting up from the breakfast table I said, "I have to run. I have an early client meeting."
I didn't kiss her goodbye, but at the door I added, "Tonight will be a good time for you to tell me all about it." Jill didn't look at me as I walked out the door.
I moved like a zombie through the day. My mind kept thinking of alternatives. Of deals I could make with Jill so our marriage could survive her infidelity. I had negotiated with myself to call it "her infidelity" rather than to tell myself that she had "cheated", or "fucked around on me." The term "infidelity" sounded... somehow, more acceptable.
That evening we had a quiet dinner. I made it home on time and was the one to put Jake Junior to bed. Later, in the living room, with only one small light casting deep shadows across the living room, Jill and I finally faced each other.
I used my best lawyer skills to talk, cross examine and question my wife. I didn't directly attack her or even tell her what I knew, I just kept negotiating. Jill never picked up on what I was doing. Words like: "We can be as happy as ever"; or "We each can confess our needs to each other"; and "Can we agree that our family is more important than anything else?" None of the bargaining tactics worked. At the end of the evening, Jill was in tears claiming not to understand what was going on with me and I had moved through the bargaining stage in that of 'Depression.' The next to last stage my Law professor had told us about. By the end of the evening I had failed. It was like the "Pre-trial mediation had failed and now we had no choice but to go to trial."
I told Jill that I needed to get away for awhile. She continued to play dumb and said she didn't understand what was going on. I quickly packed a few things in a suitcase and left the house. As I left I gave bargaining one last shot. "Jill, please let me know when you are wearing your rings. Maybe then....." I let the sentence hang as I quietly slipped out my front door.
Surprisingly I was able to get a room at the YMCA. I didn't even know that they still rented rooms. But the old downtown 'Y' did. So over the next week I passed my evenings watching others play pool and ping-pong. I didn't talk much and ate even less. I felt like lead weights were attached to my arms and legs. I realized that I was depressed. I was probably clinically depressed, and I didn't know what to do. I just waited in my office everyday for Jill to call and tell me she had found her rings. I knew that would lead to the heart to heart we needed to either continue or end our marriage.
At the end of the week my office phone rang. It was Bill my friend from college.
"Sorry you missed the reunion buddy. How are they hanging?" His upbeat joking always made me feel better. But today his jokes fell on deaf ears.
"Not so good Bill. How are you and Meredith?"
"We are great. Had a great time in Miami. In fact, we hope that that little get away to the romantic resort will have finally done the trick."
"Trick?"
"Yeah. You know..... getting Meredith, with child... PG..... Knocked up!"
"Oh yeah... I forgot you guys are trying aren't you?"
