Law of the Heart

I was frozen.... Frank pulled the binoculars from my hands. "I want to see. Looks like some good stuff on the Cuban boys boat today."

Numb from what I had just seen I mumbled, "Yeah, good stuff."

I felt that I had been kicked in the gut. The boat docked, two young male marina workers ran to the end of the dock, to fasten lines. Soon the group was walking down the dock. First was Stave and Meredith, holding hands, talking excitedly about the boat ride. Meredith had her top back on.

Following was Sally and Jill. Laughing. Sally had wrapped her oversized body in a large beach towel, covering the wet tee shirt. Jill, all long tan legs and jaunty gate was next to her. She had pulled on a tee shirt from somewhere. The garish Miami Beach logo did nothing to hid the fact that her breasts were bouncing unencumbered underneath. She was gorgeous. She look like a teenager, fresh beautiful face, white teeth, long lean voluptuous body!

Finally the Mendoza twins ambled down the dock, with the blonde Barbi model between them. The blonde had her bikini bottoms on, but had not bothered with her top. Yet the Mendoza boys were not staring at her naked breasts. There was no doubt about where their eyes were locked. On the undulating buttocks of my wife, who was a few steps in front of them. All of them walked right past Frank and I. We didn't get a second glance. "Two old farts," I thought to myself. I could have reached up and touched Jill as she walked by. But I didn't. I didn't... and might forever regret it.

Frank said, "gotta run. I'll be here tomorrow if you want to watch some more." He slipped away. My mind seemed to have slipped away as well.. All I could think was, "Jill......."

Finally I stood. I walked down the dock to the big yacht. The two marina workers were hosing the boat off and dumping trash. Rum and Vodka bottles filled their trash bag. I stood staring dumbly. Unable to move.

"Looks like they were partying today," one of the boys said.

"Whew come into the cabin, you can get high just from the smoke left in here," answered the other.

"If you find and roaches you have to share," said the other.

Now with the cabin doors open I could catch the faint smell of "Pot".

"Yeah, Juan has the weed." Then he added, "hey, there is some jewelry in here. A couple of rings on the table in a float cup."

"Leave 'em be," the other boy responded. "Probably didn't want to lose them in the water. Juan said he was coming back after he walked them over to the resort. He'll take care of the rings. You know you don't want to mess with his stuff, if you know what's good for you!"

I walked stiffly to the end of the dock, staring blankly at the water. The two boys finished cleaning and hosing the boat off, then walked back to the marina carrying the full trash bag.

I don't know why I did it, but moving quickly for the first time in what seemed like hours, I jumped onto the Mendoza's boat. I looked around. It was a beautiful ship, expensive. Dark teak wood and brass fittings.... I slipped into the cabin. Plush carpet, leather and wood, big entertainment center, and on a table a plastic float cup. Inside was Jill's wedding and diamond engagement ring. "Oh God," I groaned.

They weren't expensive rings, but I had done the best I could at the time. The diamond was small and I had often told Jill that I wanted to get her another ring set, one that was more expensive. But she always said "No." She loved the rings and "would never part with them..." It wasn't how much they cost, it was what they meant, they represented our love, that we would be together, always. Jill was always careful with her rings.

Now here they were, on the Mendoza twin's boat. Without thinking I scooped them up and into my pocket. Then realizing that there was in fact a strong smell of marijuana in the cabin, I quickly left the boat and hurried up the dock. At the chair, I picked up my briefcase and shopping bag.

I furtively looked around to see if I had been noticed by anyone. I hadn't been. But I could see someone coming back towards to dock from the resort, so I turned away and headed in the opposite direction, towards the Marina.

I sat heavily in a deck chair outside the marina. I could feel Jill's rings pressing against my thigh in my pocket. I remembered the day I gave them to her. We had both cried and pledged our love to each other. Other than my wedding day and the day Jake Junior was bore, it was the happiest day of my life. We didn't even make love... We sat up all night talking, laughing, just being one.. together! It was the best night of my life.

After a while a Marina waitress came by and asked if I wanted anything. I realized my mouth was dry and ordered a beer. When the waitress returned she asked if "I wanted to run a tab."

I said, "No, Thank you".

Then she asked if I wanted a shower since I looked pretty done in.

I gawked at her, and she continued, saying that the Marina had showers for boaters and I could use one if I wanted. She would watch my stuff at the table. I asked if she had a towel and she said I could buy one in the marina, soap too.

Thirty minutes later, washed, in comfortable shorts and shirt I was finishing my second beer and watching the sun set over the water.

As the air cooled so did my emotions and I knew I had a decision to make. In the shower I had found a short piece of leather string. It looked like it was the lost shoe lace from a pair of Docksiders. I strung Jill's rings onto it, added my own wedding ring from my finger and tied it around my neck for safe keeping. As I put my ring on string I glanced at the inside of the ring. Etched into the gold was Jill's initials and our wedding date. Then I looked at the white strip of skin on my tanned hands. It looked strange and I felt unsettled inside.

The Luau beach party would be starting soon. In the distance I could see the wait staff at the resort already putting up tables, the tiki torches were placed and portable sound equipment checked. The party would start at 7:30 I recalled from the Reunion agenda, it would get dark at about 8:00 this time of year.

I was calm now. I was sure it was all an innocent mistake... her partying topless..... but could I be sure? Yes, it must be innocent, after all Steve and Meredith were there and Jill and I loved each other too much. It must have been the alcohol, the pot. She got caught up in the fun of old times. After all we weren't prudes. We had smoked some pot in law school, and certainly drank out share of booze. We still drank socially, but hadn't smoked pot since we were married. It was too easy to loose your license to practice law if you were caught, and it wasn't important to us anymore. Like so many other people our age, drugs and drinking to excess was just something we had experimented with in college.

"I should just surprise her at the party as I had planned," I thought. "She would be so happy to see me..." I could almost feel her throwing her arms around my neck when she saw me.

But what would it hurt to watch for awhile. Watch and see what was up? That wouldn't hurt would it? See what kind of things my wife would do while on her own, at the party. Just for a little while. I could surprise her at anytime during the evening. Then we could go back to the room together and celebrate the weekend away. What would that hurt?

I went into the Marina and found a pay phone. I called Jill's parents to talk to Jake Junior. Jill's parents had not been excited about having me as their son-in-law. They had wanted someone from a more well-to-do family to marry their daughter. Failing that, someone who would make a very good living.

I was constantly told that I should "leave the Public Defenders Office. Get into a 'well know' law firm. Make partner, make a lot of money."

They hated our little suburban house, they wanted more for their daughter, and now for their grandson as well. I understood that. I wanted that to, but not more than doing what I felt was right. I made fair money and did some private lawyer work on the side to make some extra. Jill did OK working part-time from home while raising Little Jake.

Gradually I earned Jill's parents grudging respect. But Jill's father still wished I would someday go private, join the country club and "make it big."

Jill's Mother answered the phone. She asked where I was and I lied. I don't know why I lied but I did. I told her that I was finishing up some work and hoped to get to the reunion sometime over the weekend. I spoke to Jake Junior, who was excited about going to the 'Bos'on Red Stox game' with Grandpa the next day! I told him how much I loved him. I thought to myself that three was a little young for a ball game, but if it made "Grandpa" happy what the heck. Jill's Mom came back on the phone. I asked "if she had heard from Jill."

She responded, "not since she had called yesterday evening from the resort to say goodnight to Jake Junior."

I told her I would try to call Jill later. I knew that there was a reunion party tonight.

We said our good-byes and I asked my mother-in-law, "to kiss Jake Junior goodnight for me."

By now I could hear the island music from the resort. Glancing over, the tiki torches were lit and people were milling around the tables of food and drink. The Mendoza twins and the blonde Barbi-doll wife were walking up the dock. They turned towards the Resort. I waited a bit longer, the shadows were getting long and in the lush areas of tropical foliage it was already dark. I decided to head over to the Resort. I still had not decided what to do!

At the edge of the lighted area I stopped. I took a deep breath and was about to step into the circle of light when I saw her. Jill...... God she was beautiful. My heart welled up, I felt a rush of love. She was walking with Steve and Meredith, down a lighted path to the party area. She looked amazing. Her burnished hair was piled on top of her head, She wore a colorful sarong around her hips. On top she wore a snug but flattering belly shirt. The shirt matched the sarong. I assumed that underneath she was wearing a bathing suit. Many of my classmates were in swim suits or shorts. Meredith was in shorts and a bathing suit top. Steve wore a baggy swim suit and a colorful tie-dyed tee shirt. They all had drinks in their hands and were laughing amicably.

I froze on the edge of the light, just looking at her. I was going to rush up to her and call out 'surprise'. But before I could make the move, one of the Mendoza's, "Juan I think," walked up behind Jill and hooked his arm into hers. MY beautiful wife smiled at him and he bent down and gave her a friendly kiss on the cheek. She didn't return it, but I thought that she leaned her body into his as they walked the rest of the way down the path.

I stepped back into the deeper shadows. Steve, Meredith, Jill and Juan headed to the bar area. They were soon sipping some tropical concoction with little umbrellas. The foursome made their way over to the food table. "Good," I thought, "get something in your stomach Jill. Other than booze."

Sally came out of nowhere and ran up to Jill hugging her, pulling her arm away from Juan. "Way to go Sally," I thought to myself.

As Juan, Jill and Sally talked, Steve and Meredith began making a slow circuit of the party area. Steve was greeting old friends and classmates, introducing his wife to those that didn't know her. Meredith was not a lawyer. She was a school teacher, and that thought made me laugh. "Another teacher that old Frank had spied on with his binoculars," I thought.

I stayed well back in the shadows of the dense foliage, out of the weak light thrown by the tiki lamps. I was close enough to Steve and Meredith when they passed that I could hear snippets of their conversation, which was mostly about how much weight this classmate had gained or how so-and-so was losing his hair. But I heard Jill's named mentioned and my ears perked up.

"I wish Jake was here," observed Steve.

"I know you miss him honey, but we will see him sometime over the summer," Meredith responded.

"No, I mean because of Juan. He is making a run at Jill."

"Oh come on, Jill loves Jake...." (That made me smile) "...she hasn't done anything she shouldn't."

Steve pondered that, "Well he is spending a lot of time with her, and today on the boat... You know."

Meredith punched her husband's arm, "Hey, I was topless too.... everyone was topless."

"I know," responded Steve, "and if Juan was showing you the attention he was showing Jill I would be anxious too."

Meredith laughed, "Were you jealous of the Mendoza's seeing me topless? You know I am a one-man woman. Anyway I don't look like Jill.... God, I hope I look as good as her after having a baby. I'll bet most of the men here would try to bed Jill if they could."

"Most of them already have tried... and failed," Steve replied. "During law school everybody was after her."

"Oh, everybody," Meredith teased, "how about you!"

Steve laughed, "I only have eyes for you baby." They laughed, kissed briefly and moved towards the food table.

I listened to a lot of conversations over the next hour. Unseen, lurking in the shadows. Why didn't I go to my wife's side. God knows I wanted to. I ached for her...But I didn't. For some reason I couldn't make myself make myself move into the light. I was caught up in a voyeuristic moment. I had never felt like this before. I mean I always tended to be observant. Watching others, analyzing their actions and motives, and that had been useful as a lawyer. But why was I doing this now, with my own wife for Gods sake. She had always been my refuge from the day-to-day requirements of my profession, as I had been for her. A person I could always be open with, and since she was a lawyer as well, somebody I could talk things over with. Now I was observing her like I did one of my clients, or a witness. Well not exactly the same way. I was so filled with love and feeling for her. But the love, the longing wasn't able to break me from my secret watching. Of all my personality traits, Jill had often said that my cool, objectivity was the one she had the most trouble with understanding. She was so passionate about everything.

I analyzed everything. That cool objectivity was great in the courtroom, but not always good in a marriage. Jill had been the one person who I was NOT analytical with.... until tonight. Why? Maybe after what I had seen on the yacht I didn't trust her.

Watching didn't give me any kind of sexual kick, but instead it seemed to give me some kind of mental or psychological one. I felt like a psychologist observing lab rats.

I actually enjoyed watching and listening to my old friends and classmates. Like most people do with friends, I had classified them into different categories. Tonight I was able to see if they fit the pigeon holes that I had placed them into. I was not surprised that most of them acted in the way that I thought they would. The shy ones, the boisterous ones, the flirty ones and like many lawyers, the aloof ones.

I listened to small pieces of conversation and observed their interactions. But no matter who I was listening to, or watching, I kept Jill in the corner of my eye.

The fates conspired against me, because of my careful movements in the dark, and the random way people flow at a party, Jill never ended up close enough to me to hear any of her conversation. She did make several trips to the bar, and Juan seemed to make sure her glass was kept full. Clearly she was enjoying herself. Talking with everyone at the party, but never completely away from Juan. I couldn't tell if she stayed near him, or he stayed near her. The movement was too subtle, and it bothered me..... bothered me enough that their seeming closeness kept me from going to her. Bothered me enough to keep me out of the light and in the dark....

It got even more interesting when the music got louder and the dancing began. First some oldies music, hits from when we were in Law school. Then the South Florida Hispanic culture came into play and the sensuous salsa music began. Most everyone was dancing. Jill danced with Juan to an oldies song. Then Steve danced with her while Juan danced with Meredith. Steve quickly reclaimed his bride from the handsome twin. Providing the opportunity for Juan to dance once again with Jill..... then the hot, driving salsa music started.

I didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the lush tropical location that inspired her, but I never knew that Jill could move like that!

It actually started with Steve and Meredith trying to dance the salsa, like they had seen in the movies. They had enough alcohol in them to not be embarrassed, but not enough to have any rhythm. Hector Mendoza, seeing an opportunity to take center stage, pulled his blonde statuesque wife into the opening and began to dance. Hector was good, and it was obvious that his wife knew what she was doing to.

They ran their hands over each other as they moved like entwined snakes to the Latin beat. Their feet moved in coordinated steps, and everyone stopped to watch. Hector loved being the center of attention and pushed his dancing to the next level. They became frantic and erotic, his hands caress his beautiful wife's back, ass, hips, thighs and breasts. Meredith and Steve tried to keep up, but soon realized that they didn't have the skill and stepped to the side clapping for Juan and Barbi.

Into the open space Juan pulled Jill. She was tentative at first, trying to catch the beat. Juan, who was smoothly moving to the music actually stepped up behind her, placed his hands on her hips and began moving her to match his movement. Giving her a lesson in where to step and how to sway her body. Jill had enough to drink that she was very relaxed and allowed her dance partner to direct her movements. Giving herself over to his movement. Jill was always athletic and soon had the beat. Juan removed his hands, much to my relief, letting her feel and move herself to the driving bass beat. Unfortunately, my relief was short lived as Jill began to get into the erotic full salsa body dancing.