It had been 6 months since Kritika and Anish first consummated their marriage. The memories of their first sexual encounter were still fresh in both their minds. Things did not improve much between them. Anish was still struggling to hold his erection inside his wife and Kritika still had not orgasmed with him. Effects of this were visible on their relationship as well. Kritika was starting to realise the problems within an arranged marriage set up. She was bound to a man who seemed to be incapable of making her cum and it wasn't for the lack of trying.
In the month that passed, they tried a lot of things to achieve the pleasure but it wasn't meant to be. They both were aware of the fact that a lot of women can't orgasm from a vaginal sex alone and so Anish would try everything he could to make her orgasm, whether it was going down on her or using his hands to finger her till his arms gave out, he just couldn't get her past the finishing line. She would get frustrated with him at times and it was getting more and more difficult to hide her disappointment with him.
What was frustrating her the most was the fact that she was capable of orgasming on her own. Looking back now, the problem wasn't his technique but his attitude towards the whole situation. He looked upon it as challenge to make her cum rather to bring pleasure to her. Even when he went down on her, his aim was to bring upon a body shaking orgasm no matter what it cost rather than focussing on his wife's pleasure. He would read upon techniques to make a woman cum and try it on her, but for some reason would not ask her what she would like him to do. She would try and reason with him and urge him to just let go of his mental blocks and be with her in those moments mentally but he just wouldn't listen.
It was her idea to bring toys into the mix and while he did not object, it was huge blow to his ego. Anish thought of himself as a progressive man and in many ways he was. But the suggestion of using sex toys by his wife showed him a mirror and what he saw was a man riddled with insecurities.
"Am I not man enough?" he asked himself.
"Kritika would rather have a piece of silicon inside her than her husband" his inner demons were starting to surface.
He was nothing more than a typical Indian man with a fragile ego hiding behind a mask of progressiveness.
Kritika, however, never looked at those toys to replace his husband. Despite the sexual incompatibility, she had come to like him a lot and no matter what he was the man she loved...at the time.
And so, she made him use the vibrator on her and it was a success. She came and she came hard unaware of the anger that was building inside Anish. Unaware of how he was only putting up a faΓ§ade. His brain could not process "losing" to an inanimate object. He would often shut down and not communicate with her what he felt. In a span of 5 months, he went from "doing anything possible to make her cum" to "hating her vibrator induced toys". Their sex while often was fast losing the intimacy it deserved.
Ever since Kritika "forced" him to use the vibrator, duration of his erection started getting shorter and shorter. He could barely hold it up for more than a minute. He was in hell, but he never let her know. Why? Because she seemed content with their sex life. What more could he ask for? He was ready to force himself to lead a life like this if it meant that his wife was happy. It took some practice but he learnt to not let his anger come to surface.
Kritika could feel his anger. Even though she never saw it explicitly, she could sense it. She could feel the lack of enthusiasm from him. She could feel it declining ever since she started using vibrators. She liked the sex initially and thought that all her problems would go away now, but what went away was the intimacy. Her first time with him was a disaster but at least there was an effort to make her feel good. She could see the love in his eyes. But now there was nothing. She was crossing the finish line now but it was as if she was running alone. This is not what she wanted when she introduced the idea of sex toys. She also didn't anticipate him losing the ability to get hard. Sex was no longer fun. It was no longer pleasurable. She had no idea what to do or say Anish that would make it all better. All she knew was that if he were to find out that she wasn't enjoying it with him, it would crush him. And so, she resigned herself to a marriage with terrible sex.
"So what?" she thought.
"There are thousands of women marrying every day to complete losers. Women who have no respect and are merely seen as house help or a means to reproduce by their spouses. At least my Anish loves me and respects me and will do anything to make me happy. Sex isn't all that necessary to live a happy married life...is it?" she would console herself at every moment she could.
Both of them got busy with their lives. Their honeymoon period lasted 1 day. It took them 6 months to come to terms to their lives. They looked like an everyday couple living a happy life. Their lives turned mundane and routine. He would go to his office and she would look after the house. She made friends with other women from her neighbourhood and would spend some time in the evening with them until Anish came back home. Then it was dinner, followed by some small talk before both of them called it a night. Sex was limited to the weekends and was now just a chore.
Every now and then she would take out her vibrator in the afternoon and pleasure herself. Those were the moments where she craved Anish and wished for their problems to go away. She would feel terrible afterwards. She sometime thought of her life before and her time with Daniel.
She hadn't let Daniel invade her mind since the last time he ravaged her in her dreams. That was 8 months ago. Daniel would try and sneak into her mind during her afternoon masturbation sessions but she would not let him enter. She resisted every time and resisted hard. There was no point to let her thoughts wander like that and the one time they did was a mistake not be repeated again.
"I think you should get your old job back" Anish blurted out while having dinner.
"Anish, if you don't like my cooking just say so," said Kritika trying to be playful.
"No.... It's not that. I was thinking you have nothing to do all day and we sure could benefit from an additional income. There was no reason for you to leave your job back when we got married other than societal pressure. Besides I know you loved that job. So why not go back?"
"Oh, I don't know... I mean, I did love the work and we surely could use some extra money, but..." she could think of no reason why she should not get her old job back.
"..... I don't even know if they will hire me back again. I've barely kept in touch with anyone from that office."
"Is that what's stopping you? Are you kidding me Kritika? What was the name of your manager...ummm...Sarthak was his name, I think. Let's invite him over for dinner and we can see if he has a place in his team."
"Sarthak left the company a month before I did. I was next in line for that promotion. Don't you remember? I told you that the first time we met. Unfortunately, I had to leave and so the position got filled by Daniel and I don't even...."
"Daniel?? You had foreigners working at that place? Damn, I thought it was a small operation," Anish interrupted.
"It's like you never listened to me or cared about my work prior to marriage. Yes, we had plenty of foreigners working some below me and some above. Daniel and I were part of a 6-member team reporting to Sarthak. He got Sarthak's job after Sarthak and I both left. And like I said, I haven't been in contact with anyone from that office and so I don't know if Daniel is still there." She was pretty annoyed at that "small operation" remark and visibly so.
"Well...It couldn't hurt to drop him a message," he said meekly.
"I'll think about it. Now bring those plates to the kitchen," she said, standing up and moving towards the kitchen.
That night they had sex and while it was still the same, this time Kritika's mind wasn't empty. Daniel was there and he planned to stay there for a long time.
*****
"It has been a week; how long do you need to think about it. I don't understand Kritika, it shouldn't be such a difficult decision and frankly I thought you would jump at the idea of getting back to work. Did you even message Daniel?"
"No, I haven't".
"Why don't you do it now?" he said a little impatiently.