I had an overnight in Washington the following week visiting some of my company's clients who were on the Beltway. I stayed over at the Marriott in Rosslyn. I didn't sleep much imagining what Ann and John were doing. Before I left she told me she'd invite him to dinner, and I knew that was code for 'I'm inviting him to dinner, and to stay until after the kids are asleep so we can fuck and fuck and fuck until the wee hours.'
I had a panic attack that night in the hotel. I'd never had one before, but I'd read about them. My heart raced, I was shaking, my chest felt tight, I was nauseous, and I felt like I was seriously losing control of my life. At first I thought I was having a heart attack, but as things continued I dismissed that idea: I was a strong runner, recently had an EKG that showed my heart would last another two hundred years, and some of the key symptoms were missing.
When I first thought I was having the heart attack, I thought I'd just quietly die and leave Ann for John. She'd at least be taken care of between having a loving boyfriend and all the insurance money she'd get.
Finally, I deduced I was having a panic attack. I knew why, but I couldn't seem to do anything about it. I cried wildly into my pillow for two hours, and then I fell asleep, only to awaken a half hour later and repeat the process. I mitigated things a little when at four a.m. I went to the hotel gym and did a light workout for an hour. After that I showered and got a couple of hours of sleep before I had to get up and go to work.
I felt better going to work. I could suppress my worries about Ann, our marriage, losing the kids, and seeing life, as I know it, crumble around me. I spent the morning with one company, and the afternoon with another.
In the afternoon meeting there was a pretty woman, younger than me, who had been assigned to the project we were working on. I felt a resonance with her, and from her smile and warm handshake as I left I felt that she liked me too. Her name was Karen. I nursed a fantasy during the afternoon about the two of us having an affair, and me becoming happy with her and not caring about what Ann did. It was the first time I'd had the thought about 'not caring' about Ann, and possibly finding 'someone else' on my own.
I got home that night about eight o'clock, just in time to tuck the kids in. While I'd pepped myself up for work, I'd seriously deflated after my workday ended and I had to do the airport routine. I slid back into my depression and the angst about my relationship with Ann, and her growing relationship with John.
I tried to hide my feelings from Ann, but she ferretted out that I was 'down,' and tried to cheer me up. She did reveal what she and John had done the night before - basically exactly what I expected. Knowing for sure seemed to not make any difference one way or the other about what I was feeling.
I didn't sleep well that night, but I recovered a little the next day. What with the hectic schedule at work, and a dozen important pieces of correspondence to prepare before I left work, I was a busy beaver; too busy to think about my own life or the shambles my brain was turning into.
John and Ann were enjoying wine in the kitchen when I got home. I sort of ignored them and went for the kids, helping them take baths, get into PJs, brush teeth, and then bed down with stories and some chitchat. I went downstairs after they seemed to turnover and go to sleep.
Ann had saved me some dinner, which I ate cold. I was in a mood for self-punishment and self-flagellation. I did try to put on a false front and cheer up a little, but I knew I was feeling the residual effects from my panic attack only twenty-four hours earlier.
After dinner I went upstairs to change out of the rest of my business suit. When I came back Ann and John had the fuzzy bedspread laid out, and they were in the middle of it nude and in a sixty-nine - Ann on top sucking on John's cock, and John madly eating Ann's pussy. I had to admit they looked hot together. I did get aroused.
I tossed my shorts and t-shirt aside, and sat down and watched them as I leisurely stroked my own cock. They shifted positions, and John started to plow into Ann again as she urged him on. I gathered from what they said that they'd also been able to fuck somewhere over their lunch hour, so this was their second time together that day.
I remained in a more passive, voyeur role that night; watching the two of them go at it a couple of times before John headed home. Ann had sort of accepted that I just wanted to watch, but I think she knew enough about me to know that something was wrong. She didn't push the issue. Later, I rose to the occasion to make love to Ann, and that really made me feel better. I hadn't realized how therapeutic sex could be.
* * * * *
Over the next few months John started to come around more and more until he was at our home every weeknight, and sometimes even a day or two on the weekends. One week I think he only went home to sleep and see his kids before they went off the school. He also commented that he was in the countdown on the divorce meaning that the settlement had been worked out and that in another couple of weeks he'd be a free man. He planned to get an apartment somewhere near work, and that meant near Ann and me, and that meant that the two of them would have a love nest to go to for their lunch hours.
John took Ann on the promised bow hunting expedition one autumn Saturday. Ann told me that after they got off in the wilds, they had a nice outdoor fuck, but the weather was cold and not conducive to spending a lot of time with bare parts exposed.
John and Ann also made the four-day, three-night trip to Dallas to teach courses about their company's software. Ann said the evenings were romantic, but not much different from what we did in our family room except they slept together. She did add that they fucked in the middle of the night in addition to the full evening they'd just spent. I still felt the little stabs of pain or jealousy or whatever it was, but I at least seemed to be getting used to them.
As the weeks went by, it wasn't that I started to feel better about the situation; I felt resigned to it. The dire scenarios of us acrimoniously separating and divorcing were not happening and there were no signals that they would. To the contrary, Ann went out of her way to be sure I knew she loved me, cared about me, and that
we
were the long-term relationship she wanted and valued. We were having more sex together than ever before. John usually dedicated his weekends to his own kids, and I at least enjoyed the breaks when he wasn't around sniffing out my wife's pussy, but at least a weekend or two a month he'd be around as well as the weekdays.
My work got busier, ramping up to a major conference we were having in early December. One result was that I got home a little later than usual for the month or so leading up to the conclave.
One night I met John and Ann at a lounge on the way home from work. The grandparents had wanted the kids, so we had the night to ourselves. As I walked into the place, I looked for the two of them but I only saw John. He frantically motioned me over to the bar where he sat.
"Hi, Jim. Sit down. We're playing a little game. Don't look, just place your order and I'll explain."
The waitress at the bar took my order for a beer and burger. John talked, "Ann is at a table over near the big mirror. We had a couple of dances, and then I had to go to the men's room. When I came out that guy sitting with her had her on the dance floor, and they were dirty dancing. I came over here to watch. Since then, they've danced a few more times, getting really hot. He's really hitting on her."
I spun around as I might just to survey the whole bar scene as we talked. I moved my head as though to survey the room, but my eyes were locked on Ann and the muscular dark-haired guy with her.
They were next to each other in a booth, but in plain sight of everyone, so not much would happen. He had an arm around her shoulders, and was running his left hand up and down her thigh, not inside her dress but just on the part that the short skirt revealed.
John observed, "He's trying to get real friendly. Watch that left-hand action."
I chortled, "Should we stop it? She seems to be content with what's going on."
John said, "Let's see how she plays it."
Ann and Unknown Guy were talking, although quite often she'd shake her head to indicate a strong negative response to whatever he was suggesting.
She looked past him, and saw the two of us sitting together at the bar.
Unknown Guy tried to kiss her, and she allowed him to plant one on her cheek, but obviously told him she planned to go no further.
I spun around and faced the bar, but kept an eye on her via the mirror behind the bar. He got increasingly aggressive about where his left hand wandered, trying to move her skirt and his fingers higher up her leg to her pussy.
Ann suddenly grabbed his wrist with both hands, and even with all the bar noise, we could hear her firm, "No."
I spun around. "Time to intervene."
I was up, across the room, and at their table before you could have snapped your fingers. "Hi, Darling. You been waiting long? Who's your friend?" I slid into the bench seat opposite my wife and unknown guy.
Ann lit up with joy, "Hi, Honey. This is Dan. He just had a couple of dances with me."
John then arrived at the table. "Hi, Doll." He slid in beside me. He said, "What's happening?"
Ann looked at Dan, smiled falsely, and said, "Why, Dan was just leaving. I'm sure he doesn't want to share me with my husband and my boyfriend, do you Dan?"
Dan looked at the two of us, and stood. "I was just leaving. Thanks for the dance." He turned and was gone. He left half a beer.
We said nothing until he was out of earshot. Ann turned to John with a touch of anger in her voice, "Why'd you leave me to deal with that asshole?"
John laughed, "I thought you might have liked the idea that some other guy thought enough of you to hit on you. You looked like you were having fun dancing."
"I was, but then he got all handsy, trying to feel my ass and hike my skirt up; that's when I sat down, but that was a mistake because he started to come onto me here. He kept wanting to feel me up and get a finger or two in my pussy."
I asked, "Why didn't you let him?" I was laughing inside at her predicament. "You'd let either one of us do that."