When things started to change, it wasn't a big upheaval or anything. Just a lot of small changes that started to happen more and more frequently. At the time they started I had been married to Jane for 15 years. She was 37 and I was 42. If you had asked me at the time whether we had a good marriage I would have said absolutely. But I was a very laid back guy and had few demands on life. My name was Zachary Scott Taylor, Zach to both friends and enemies alike. I enjoyed the little things that made up my week. Watching a favorite tv show, reading a good book, spending time with Jane and the kids relaxing together. Cooking was even something that I liked. To me it was like a chemistry experiment where you threw a little of this together with a little of that and then waited to see how it turned out. Not to brag but it almost always turned out pretty damn good and Jane, and especially my kids, Jim ten years old and Alice eight years old, really seemed to relish one of my meals. I loved my wife and kids and I was sure that they loved me too. This was what I wanted out of life.
So yes, I was satisfied. Did I get pissed off with my job and the people I worked with sometimes? Sure I did. Did I wish we could afford and had the time to travel and take more vacations? You betcha! Did I wish I could talk Jane into camping and fishing? Yes, but I gave up on that years ago. Above all else I wanted harmony in my married life and tried very hard to get along with Jane even if she got what she wanted a lot more often than I got what I wanted. But before things began to change these were just little things. Stuff like what clothes to buy the kids, or what color to paint the house. What furniture to buy, what tv shows to watch (although the invention of the VCR somewhat eased that problem) and what restaurant to go out to eat at.
Some of the things I didn't think were very fair and pissed me off a little like somehow I always got stuck with the grocery shopping. But then she did most of the laundry. I did almost all the cooking but she did most of the kitchen cleanup although the floors somehow became my job only. But when it came to yard work and fix it stuff, it was all me. No division of duties there. That was man work but housework had become something for both of us to do.
But as I said I was happy enough and there were many moments of pure joy when I and the kids would get in a playful mood together and have a blast. Or when I had found a great fantasy book and could just immerse myself in it and escape reality for awhile. But have you noticed I haven't included sex in these moments of joy? Oh in the first five years of our marriage we had some moments I could remember fondly. But after the kids came we slacked off some. Not only did the frequency go down but what went on changed also. Jane loved to have me perform oral sex on her but after she got off she would urge me up and into her to fuck. Then she would just kind of lie there and not really do a lot of movement and wait for me to get off. Upon which she would kiss my cheek, say night dear and roll over leaving me in the wet spot. No blowjobs for me, or different postions or god forbid anal. We had done all of those things in the first years of our marriage but not now. I guess Jane saw it as she got an orgasm and I got an orgasm so we were even. You know the old division of duties thing. And I thought women were the ones that were supposed to crave foreplay. I remember one time having a discussion in which I told her that just because white stuff came out the end of your penis didn't mean it felt the same every time. That some orgasms were a lot better than others and were generally because I was more excited. I remember her being astonished at this concept. Gee, maybe I was just too sensitive.
The first small change that I suddenly noticed was in the area of home finances and banking. We had a joint account which both our paychecks got deposited in. She had a check book and I had a check book. This was before computers and the internet so we had to tell each other everytime we wrote a check so we could write it in our check register and would know how much the balance in the account was. In this way we wouldn't write any hot checks. But all of a sudden Jane started to forget to tell me about some checks and eventually it resulted in some NSF checks that we had to pay a hefty fee for. This upset me because it was money we could spend on other things. We weren't poor but we weren't so rich that we could afford to pay NSF fees every month. Not to mention what it did to our credit ranking, etc.
Jane somehow didn't see it as a big problem at all. She got angry that I was mad at her over something so trivial. Yes, something so trivial that she couldn't seem to stop doing it. It finally got to the point that when she was in the shower or asleep I would go in her purse and get her checkbook so I could check her register. That solved the NSF problem as I would then know how much we had and transfer some money from savings if we were running short. The problem of what she was spending this money on didin't get solved. I would ask her why there was a check written to a restaurant I had never been in and she would say stuff like she had taken some of the girls at work out to lunch. I would find another check written to some store and she would say she couldn't really remember it was just some clothes she needed. Other checks were written for cash because she needed "spending money" but no explanation of what she spent it on. Vague explanations that didn't really say anything.
Then they came out with those first ATM machines and Jane started making cash withdrawals instead of writing checks. She said it was just easier to pay cash for things rather than writing a lot of checks. I could still keep up with the balance because she would write down the cash withdrawals in the register but I now really had no way of knowing what she was spending it on. Then I got a new job and money problems weren't so important anymore. I was doing work I liked better with people I enjoyed being with and to top it all off, I got a $600/Mo raise. I was happier than ever and really enjoying life. It seemed I was finally making more money than Jane could spend.
But then the next small change came around. Jane's 38th birthday came around and she started freaking out because she was getting close to the dread 40. Of course I had already passed it so it wasn't a big deal to me. Life goes on you know. But anyway Jane,in her inimitable manner, decided to give herself a birthday present. Of course this was without consulting me even though she would need my cooperation. She had joined a health club that was a few miles from the house and wanted to set up a schedule and go at least three times a week.
Now you have to understand that I still thought Jane was extremely good looking. Her face had aged well and I thought she actually looked four or five years younger than she was. Okay, so she had put on twenty five pounds since we had gotten married and her tits weren't as perky as they had been. She still looked great in clothes and really not too shabby out of them either. Let's just say that she still started my motor when I looked at her. But Jane was convinced that she looked old and ugly.
I was a little shocked when she just told me it was a done deal and she had already bought a six month membership for herself. But after thinking it over for a minute or two, I said great I could stand to lose fifteen pounds myself. I will join also and we can do this together. Nope, wrong, wrong . . . wrong! She would be going at least twice during the week and someone would have to stay home with the kids. Guess who? Now that set me back on my heels a little bit. She was acting like she didn't want me around her anymore. What was up with that? Had I pissed her off somehow?
But as I said life goes on and I went along with it. Hell, I enjoyed being with the kids! It wasn't that it was a big chore or anything it was just that more and more it seemed Jane wasn't included in our family activities. So while she was off at the health club, if the weather was nice I would take the kids to the park and we would play on the playground. Or sometimes we would throw a ball or a frisbee around. And everytime before we went home I would make them walk with me for 30 minutes straight.
Because these trips to the park took up a lot of time in the afternoons, I started making less elaborate recipes with lighter ingredients and fast preparation times. I became the king of the stir fry and salad maker par excellance. Sometimes we would stop at a deli on the way home and get a salad there with a turkey sandwich. Once the kids got over their initial reluctance to leave the tv and video games behind, I think they really did start to look forward to our outings. Somehow we still managed to make it home before Jane. She would come in 9:00 saying that she spent time in the whirlpool and sauna after her workout and then took a shower. Still she was spending more than three hours at a time at the club.
I had to admit she was losing weight. She would get on the scale on the weekend and make everyone come look so we could praise her for what a good job she was doing. The first couple of weeks she lost three pounds per week. The third week she only lost one pound and she was pissed. She said she was going to pay for a personal trainer for a month or so to help her keep losing. Again no conversation with me about whether we could afford that and gee dear would it be alright. Nope, these days Jane did what she wanted without asking for permission. The personal trainer, by the way, was going to be $40/session. Yeah, don't worry about it Jane, I can always make more.
The fourth week she was back to another three pounds and saying, "See dear it was worth it just like I told you." Worth it to her maybe. As I already said I was happy with the way she was before. And unknown to her I was getting on the scale also. Without paying anyone any money, I had lost eight pounds in that month, only two less than she had. All it took was some aerobic exercise and watching the calories for awhile. The kids looked great too. They had firmed up and had slender, muscular little bodies and seemingly unlimited energy. The fifth week and she was only down two pounds. She just couldn't understand it. She had gone to the club four times that week and should have lost more according to her. Maybe it had to do with the ice cream she was eating late at night after she got home. I knew I would just get a lot of static if I suggested that though so I kept my mouth shut. I was learning how to maintain harmony with the new Jane also. But it was taking a greater and greater effort all the time. We were skating on thin ice and it seemed we could sink at anytime.
