I spent one long year struggling in art school after graduating high school. When that didn't work out, something about me not being good enough, I spent the next two years finding out that the military wasn't my cup of tea either. Using my hard won G.I. benefits I came back home and enrolled in a three-year architectural drafting school, which I really loved. So here I sit on a bar stool, tipping back more than a few, celebrating my graduation with my five best friends in the whole world. It finally seemed my life was on track.
"I'd like to propose a toast," Brian, one of my best buddies, said, raising his glass. "To Steve, one of the dumbest sons of a bitch I ever met."
"Here, here," everyone yelled, downing what was left in their glass before looking for our waitress or a bartender to order another round. It was then I saw her standing behind the bar. All right maybe I'd had a little too much to drink and just maybe the alcohol was clouding my judgment but nonetheless she didn't catch just my eye, she caught both of them. Even though I don't have a shy bone in my body, I should have just looked and not said a blessed thing. But by now the alcohol had taken over my brain, my mouth was just coming along for the ride.
It all started when I looked at her nametag. "Beth, do you like the name David?" I asked the cute bartender as she poured us another round of drinks.
"What?" she asked. She probably couldn't hear what I had asked her because of all the noise in the place.
"Do you like the name David?" I repeated the question.
"Yeah, I guess it's okay. Is that your name or something?"
"Nope, that's the name I've picked for our first born if it's a boy but I'm not too sure what we'll call it if it's a girl," I said, still consuming her with my eyes. In disbelief and amazement my buddy Brian looked on.
"You fixing to marry this girl, Steve?" Brian asked looking over at me.
"As soon as she says yes."
"Well I'll be, I didn't even know you two were dating."
From there things got a little out of hand. Everyone kept drinking and asking me when I was going to ask her. Before I knew it, my foopa had spread to three other tables and everyone was proposing toasts to Beth and me.
"To Beth and Steve, may they always be as happy as they are at this very moment," Brian announced to the entire bar standing on a table in the middle of the room. Everyone applauded and tipped their glass to Beth, who was smiling behind the bar shaking her head from side to side.
A fairly tipsy girl jumped on a table and said she hoped our honeymoon was half as hot as hers, she blushed, slammed down her drink, and gave a big kiss to a guy I hoped was her husband. Another roar went out and everyone grabbed a drink and toasted us again. It was getting pretty wild. It seemed the whole bar, including all the bartenders, were now getting into the act.
Whoever started the chant 'ask her, ask her, ask her' I haven't a clue but within minutes the whole place was shouting it and stomping their feet. When Brian and Tommy carried me over to the bar and placed me in front of Beth the whole room went silent with the exception of two rather inebriated coeds standing next to me.
"Steve, you've got to do it on one knee, don't you know anything?" One of the women next to me shouted.
So, very wobbly I got down on one knee and immediately fell over.
Brian picked my ass up, smacked me on the top of the head, and told me to try and do it right this time.
Struggling to both focus and stay upright at the same time, I looked into those two deep brown eyes of Beth's and asked her to marry me, or something to that effect. I then proceeded to fall over for the second time.
The whole bar was dead quiet while Brian and Tommy picked my ass off the dirty floor. Beth tried not to laugh but was fighting a loosing battle. Finally she looked at me, then at all her friends behind the bar, and then back at me again.
"Sure, why not. I don't have any plans for after work tonight anyway," she said starting to laugh. She bent over and gave me a kiss to seal our bond. The place erupted with applause, laughter, and another three rounds of drinks. Everyone was congratulating the two of us. I looked at her, smiled, and that my friends, is the last thing I remember.
I woke up the following morning not in my own bed and with the biggest hangover I'd ever had. It took me about ten minutes to confirm I was even still alive, breathing, and in Brian's apartment. I saw I was fully dressed with the exception of my shoes. I found the bathroom and only wished that my body would go a little easier on me. I debated about putting my finger or whole hand down my throat. A voice yelling up the stairs that breakfast was ready brought me out of my momentary daze.
Somehow I managed to get down the stairs in one piece. Brian's wife, Angie, poured me a cup of hot black coffee, while pushing a plate of toast my way.
"Eat this, it'll absorb at least a little of what's in your stomach." Food was the last thing I wanted but she wasn't taking no for an answer. "If you're wondering, Brian and I carried your sorry ass in here last night. You passed out just after you got married." That sobered me up, at least enough to get my mind working again. "Couldn't have been too good of a wedding night, you being passed out and all. But you sure did create a ruckus in there when you dropped down on one knee and proposed to her. When she said yes, the place went nuts. Everyone started planning your wedding and honeymoon. You, however, passed out after the third or fourth round of drinks. By the way, where are the two of you going on your honeymoon?" She laughed walking back to the stove to tend to the bacon I could hear sizzling in her black cast iron skillet.
"Very funny," I replied, still trying to remember exactly what did happen. The only thing I was sure of, was that Beth stole my heart last night. What do they say, love at first sight?
When Brian came downstairs he was showered, shaved, and way too chipper.
"How's the blushing groom?" he asked.
"That's blushing bride, stupid," his wife yelled back at him.
"Whatever. How was the wedding night? Was she everything you expected?"
"She was here?" I looked back hopefully towards the stairs.
"Nope, just fucking with you," he said chuckling. "Not too bad looking but a little too skinny for my taste," he said slapping Angie on the backside and then turning her around for a big kiss. "Well, that was quite a night, I haven't had that much fun in a long time. I hope that girl isn't too pissed off at you, but not likely, because her tip jar was sure full by the end of the night."
"Her name is Beth," I said still working on my first cup of coffee.
"Well, anyway, after all that, did you even get her phone number?" I shook my head no. Hell, I'd somehow even lost my damn shoes.
Brian dropped me off at the bar so I could pick up my car. Mine wasn't the only one still in the parking lot. It must have been one hell of a party. I just wished I could remember it all.
It took me a full twenty-four hours to recover. I made a hundred promises to myself about never having another drink but knew they wouldn't last any longer than my hangover did. Two days later after work, I was back at Tony's, with flowers in hand. I was bound and determined to apologize to Beth for making an ass out of myself and maybe get her phone number this time around.
As soon as I walked through the door a ton of people must have recognized me from the other night and started to clap. Not seeing her on the floor, I walked up to the bar and asked one of the bartenders if Beth was working.
The girl yelled, "Beth, your husband is here to see you." She laughed and wasn't the only one. Beth came out of the back room wiping her hands on a towel and immediately saw me.
"I see you're still alive. I wasn't too sure you were going to make it."
At least she was smiling and not throwing things at me, that was a good sign.