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Stephen Stills: "Paranoia strikes deep. Into your life it will creep. It starts when you're always afraid."
Lyrics from a Bob Mcdill & Wayland D. Holyfield song are also woven into this story.
= = = =
Sharon and I first met when I was a freshman at State. She was in one of my core classes, and struggling. Since I was on a mission to get laid, I offered to tutor her. She was interested in my being her tutor, but not so much in helping me get laid.
When I started to pay attention to another girl in class, things changed. Playing hard to get only works if you have no competition.
Although things changed overnight, it was still in a tempered sort of way. Available, but not easy, best describes our courtship. After a slow start, we became the typical college couple, screwing morning noon and night.
Here I sit now, twenty four years later, about to embark on another adventure. This has been the toughest month of my life. You can't run away from yourself. Joy lifts you up while pain pins you down. I'd been wishing I was dead. The searing pain in my heart told me that there were things worse than death.
+ + + +
There was no way I could pull this off on my own, so I enlisted my kids. They're all young adults now.
I have two sons, Nathan and Matt, and Lynette is my eldest and only daughter. As much as they wanted to go to college 'out of state', when faced with the projected student debt, all chose to attend in-state universities.
All three participated in multiple sports in high school, but only Matt dabbled once he entered college. Riding the bench his entire freshman year put an end to his athletic dreams. He was big, but not big enough to start as a collegiate offensive lineman.
Lynette finished her degree last spring, and has a decent entry level job in town. She lives with a couple of young ladies.
Matt is on track to graduate next spring, and still lives at home. He's been with the same young lady since his freshman year.
Nathan, well how can I put this nicely, is on track to finish in maybe six years. He was a bit straight laced and shy in high school. College opened his eyes. Those eyes seemed to be unable to focus on his studies. After his siblings had a little sit down with him, he seems to have changed his focus. He lives off campus, with an ever changing cast of characters.
Holding your children, while they cry, is something you expect to do when they're young. It rips your heart out when you're doing that with your adult children. After sharing the investigator's report with each, my job was to be their rock.
It was as if a switch had been flipped. I had to be strong for my kids. I turned to stone. It's hard to explain it, but just like that, I was void of emotion. Nothing mattered to me.
My kids and I were a team, and all of us had each other's backs. This weekend's party was the chosen ambush site.
+ + + +
I arrived home late, on purpose.
Sharon greeted me with "I don't know what your problem is. You've hardly spoken a word to me in a month. Get your head out of your ass. We have a backyard full of people. Try to be pleasant."
I ignored her.
Looking at the gathered crowd, I saw that people were enjoying themselves, including the few that I wanted present. We have a mid-sized pool buried in our back yard. The lawn chairs were placed far enough from the edge to avoid the splashes from the kids enjoying themselves.
As I was making the rounds, introducing myself where needed. I made a point to track down Beth. She remarried about six months ago. I was out of town at the time and missed the ceremony. Sharon has worked with Beth for at least five years.
"Beth, good to see you again. This must be your husband?"
"Yes" as she turned to face her man "Hank, this is Chris. I work with his wife Sharon."
"Nice to meet you Chris" was met with silence from me.
Our handshake was unremarkable and Hank seemed distracted.
I settled into my place of honor. Sharon put a Chivas on the rocks next to me, saying nothing. Pissy little attitude, that one. The caterer was busy putting the tins of Mexican food out. The free bar was swamped.
After making small talk, Sharon's dad chimed in "Chris, are you going to sing some songs before dinner?"
I played in a band in my youth. Thinking that the only thing you really needed to succeed was a good band name, we kept changing names every month or two. Our gigs were in dives and it was more like orchestrated drug dealing and cheating. We played our last gig as The Winking Pumpkins. Our real problem was loft: Lack of fucking talent.
I look like a cat making bread as I claw at my guitar. My voice barely carries a tune, but since this was my party, the gathered guests always give me the obligatory compliments after each song.
Nathan leapt to his feet "I'll grab your guitar dad!"
I immediately shot back "Don't touch the electric ones!"
A minute later, Nathan reappeared holding my cheap Yamaha six string acoustic guitar. I've got some really expensive electric guitars, but they stay out of harm's way.
"Here you go dad. Can you play some Five Finger Death Punch?"
"No, but thanks for asking" brought the usual snickers. He knows I can't stand heavy metal.
With the guitar on my lap, I pulled my wallet out. I carry my favorite pick next to my credit cards. Matt stood behind Hank, while Nathan placed his hands softly on his mother's shoulders. Sharon was sitting next to her parents.
Lynette waited nervously as I sang Clint Black's 'Killing Time' and Little River Band's 'Cool Change'. Such a pity that Sharon wasn't paying attention to my song selections.
Lynette gave the signal we'd agreed upon by requesting "Dad, do you know 'I met a friend of yours today'?"
"Well, I haven't practiced many George Strait songs, but I do know that one."
As I settled in for my last song, a well-dressed gentleman appeared at Lynette's side.
Looking at Sharon, I began. After the first stanza, Sharon had a somewhat bemused look on her face.
As I continued, the words began to make sense to Sharon. Hank was starting to fidget. Sharon's bemused look had morphed into a very frightened one. Nathan applied a little downward pressure on Sharon's shoulders. She wasn't going anywhere.
I turned to face Hank, who was sitting close to Beth, then I continued singing.
'I listened for a while, and I could tell. That that stranger there he knew you, much too well.'
It was actually my best friend, Mark, who clued me in. He'd been working at the same construction company for twenty years. Then Hank was hired. When Hank started bragging about shagging some broad with a cauliflower ear, Mark perked up. Sharon's right ear fits that description, and Mark was aware of it. That disclosure bothered me enough to hire an investigator.
Staring into Hank's eyes, I continued the song. Matt placed his palms on Hank's shoulder, applying downward pressure on the squirming jerk. He was no match for an offensive lineman, even if Matt wasn't good enough to start. I bore holes into Hank's heartless eyes as his face paled.
I turned back to Sharon, whose tears were leaking down her cheek. Lynette led the process server to her mother. Lynette has a remarkable voice, and she joined in for the finale.
'Please don't cry woman, 'cause it's much too late for tears. Yeah, I'm sorry too, 'cause it hurts after all these years. And ain't it sad, a love like ours should end this way. And all because, I met a friend of yours today.'
She knew that I knew. Hell, everyone at the party figured it out.My heart was cold and emotionless, but there was venom in Lynette's voice as she stared daggers at her mother.
The well-dressed gentleman handed a manila envelope to my soon to be ex. He had been instructed to over dramatize the delivery. "Mrs. Sharon Carsen, due to your affair with Hank Anderson, you have been served with divorce papers."
Nathan made sure that Sharon sat still. Matt held Hank in place, which made it easier for Beth to bitch slap the bastard. Try as he might, he couldn't avoid Beth's claws forever. He's lucky he didn't lose an eye. I don't think I've ever seen a woman that incensed. Sharon was unprepared for the right hook Beth connected just before she stormed out the door. Based on how limp she held her right hand, I think Beth may have injured her fist. Lynette caught up with Beth and gave her a copy of the investigator's report.
As Lynette was sprinting towards Beth, Nathan threw Sharon into the pool. A moment later Matt launched Hank for an unplanned swim.
I put the guitar down as the caterer loudly announced "THE BUFFET IS OPEN! COME AND GET IT."
My singing must have turned people off. Most skipped dinner and left. The homeless shelter will be getting several tins of food tonight. I hope they like fajitas and twice baked beans. I'm keeping the churos as I suspect I'll be needing some comfort food.
Sharon, dazed and bruised, climbed out of the pool and dripped a trail of water to the master bedroom. With Matt, Lynette, and Nathan at my side, we bid farewell to those fleeing the scene.
When Sharon's mother approached, with clenched fists, I knew trouble was brewing.
"Chris, this is a sensitive matter, and should have been handled privately!"
Before I could get my response out, Matt practically shouted "Grandma, shut the fuck up! Maybe you should have spent a little more time teaching morals to your daughter. She screwed the pooch and now she has to pay. Letting all of her friends and relatives know that what she promises, and what she delivers, are two very different things was more than appropriate."
The fight was over. Her shoulders slumped as she silently turned and walked away. Sharon's father mouthed 'I'm sorry' as they left.
+ + + +
Not surprisingly, the bedroom door was locked every time I checked. Matt, Nathan, and Lynette helped each other clean up, as I started the process of the soon to be divorced.
Having been warned, by my divorce attorney, to not transfer money destined for Sharon, I did the next best thing. I removed the credit cards, ATM card, and cell phone from Sharon's purse. After tracking down the checkbook and lock box key, I was pretty sure she'd been cut off from all of our money.
Matt announced that one battery cable, on Sharon's car, had been disabled.
At 6 Am, I thought I heard the front door close. I was on the couch at the time, eyes closed, but no longer sleeping. Nathan and Lynette had gone back to their places last night, and Matt was sleeping in his room. I wasn't surprised when a livid Sharon stormed back into the house.
"CHRIS! Why won't my car start?" loud enough to wake the dead.
Lightly groaning as I sat up on the couch "Beats me. Do I look like Mr. Goodwrench to you?"
"Where's my phone?"
"I don't know. Have you checked the bottom of the pool? Kind of early to be tossing a hissy-fit, isn't it?"
"I have to get away for a few days. I made a mistake, but there's no reason we can't work through this."
