This is the first story I've written since I was a child. Don't worry, I wasn't writing erotica back then! This is in fact the first erotic story I have ever written. So let me know if you like it; otherwise, let me know what you didn't like about it.
*****
Juliet and Burt were soon to be married.
It was only nine months ago that Juliet and Burt met, six months ago when they moved in together, and two months ago when they got engaged. Things had certainly moved fast for them.
Their reasons for this quick pace - besides love, obviously - were different, but ultimately similar.
Burt was thirty-nine and thought settling down was now overdue, especially considering he had been ready start a family for some time. He just wasn't bothered about rushing - not before meeting Juliet, anyway.
Burt was an attractive man - six feet tall, with a great body; he also had a good career. He dated on and off, but rarely got very serious with anyone. For his age, he hadn't dated that many women either, as he was actually somewhat shy. A big introvert really, he tended to spend a lot of time working, or engaged in solitary activities.
At thirty-one, Juliet was a little younger than Burt. She thought she had several years before she would feel her biological clock ticking away; but things changed when both her best friends fell pregnant with their first child, within only weeks of each other.
Juliet was a natural beauty - five foot four, long, blonde hair, a slim figure, long legs, and perky 32D breasts. Whilst she knew she was a desirable woman, she didn't like too much attention just for being attractive, so she tended to dress conservatively most of the time and wore minimal makeup, save for special occasions.
Strangers often thought they recognised Juliet, but she never knew why. The first time Burt met her, however, he could tell why - if she dyed her her brown, he was sure she would look just like Anne Hathaway. He mentioned this to her at a later date, but she silently dismissed it. On a few separate occasions he even asked her whether she had ever thought about dying her hair, but even if she got the reference, she never acknowledged it.
Burt had once been told he looked like a celebrity too. A few years before he met Juliet, he was watching an episode of 'Hannibal' with an ex, and she told him he looked a lot like the character Will. He agreed, but thought it was only because they both had very similar hair and beard styles at the time. He forgot all about this comment until shortly after he met Juliet - when, one day, he found himself looking through pictures of Anne Hathaway. In one of the pictures, Anne was dating a man that turned out to be Hugh Dancy - the actor who played the character Will. He found it funny that both he and Juliet had been told they looked like celebrities who actually dated in real life. Although Anne and Hugh's relationship didn't last, and he and Juliet were soon to commit to a life together.
***
It was Saturday night - one week before Burt and Juliet's wedding - the night of the stag and hen (bachelor and bachelorette) parties.
Juliet went out for her hen party - if you could call it a hen party, that is. It was just drinks with her two old friends, Karen and Victoria, and two young girls from work, Maggie and Rachael. They were at 'Bar M' - a popular local club - but had just been sitting at a table, drinking and chatting incessantly for a couple of hours. Maggie and Rachael joined the conversation as much as they could, but they didn't have very much in common with the older women - especially as Karen and Victoria only seemed to talk about their babies.
Twenty minutes passed and, by then, Maggie and Rachael had completely dropped out of the conversation. They had been talking between themselves - staring and whispering about various hunks in the club. Finally, they told Juliet that they needed to go dance. Juliet explained that she was going to stay talking with her friends, but that they could go. So, with much excitement, Maggie and Rachael rushed off to the dance floor.
Juliet watched with slight envy as Maggie and Rachael hurried off,. She had actually wanted to go dance too, but remained at the table talking with Karen and Victoria. It wasn't too long ago that her best friends would have wanted to dance as well; but since having their children, Karen and Victoria had lost all interest. She just hoped it was because they were still new to motherhood, and that they would go back to their old selves - who were certainly more fun and exciting - once the novelty of having children had worn off.
Another twenty minutes passed. By then, Juliet was getting tired of the baby talk as well. As she needed to pee anyway, she excused herself and headed off to the toilets to escape for a little while.
While walking to the toilet, Juliet felt eyes ogling her body. That was one of the rare occasions when she had dressed "like a feminine woman" - to borrow the words her mum uses when Juliet actually puts on a dress and makeup. She had gone a bit further that night, however, with it likely being her last time out before marriage.
Juliet had worn a little black mini dress, held up by two very thin straps. The top of the dress sat just about high enough to cover her bra, with the hem being a little bit more modest, hanging a few inches below her crotch. Underneath she had worn a yellow lace Brazilian thong and matching strapless bra. "Very sexy" were the words her fiancé used earlier that night, when he saw her slipping on the dress. He then proceeded to kiss her neck and slide his hands all over her body - this went on for a minute or two before she eventually had to pry his hands away from her.
Juliet had made it as far as the small corridor that lead to the toilets, but was blocked from going any further. The club, as typical, was crowded, but the main issue was that in front of her were two enormous men having, what appeared to be, a mid-air, arm wrestling competition.
Juliet stood waiting for a while, wondering if she should just squeeze past, when, all of a sudden, she felt a hand cup her bum and give it a quick squeeze - and not just squeeze one of her cheeks, but actually between her cheeks, practically at her crotch. She quickly spun round, but she couldn't see who had touched her.
Not wanting to wait for another assault, Juliet decided to attempt squeezing past, between the men and the corridor wall. She just about managed to squeeze her way through, but as she did she dropped her purse and phone on the floor. Instinctively, she bend over to retrieve them, not paying much thought to how short her dress was - as she typically wore clothing where it wasn't an issue. Someone said "tasty" - which Juliet clearly heard. As she rose to her feet she never looked back, but was sure she had just accidentally flashed her thong to those behind her - which likely included her groper.
Once in the toilets and relieving herself, Juliet thought about the groping she had just received. She was mad about it, no doubt, but she was ashamed to admit that part of her didn't mind it either. This was largely because, two weeks prior, she had convinced Burt that they shouldn't have sex again until after the wedding. You know, to make it special for when they finally did make love on the wedding night. What a mistake that was! They usually had sex daily, or at least five times a week, and so she found herself continually getting sexually frustrated. Burt feeling her up before she left the house hadn't helped either.
By the time Juliet had exited the toilets, the men had stopped their silly display of strength, and were no longer blocking the path. Juliet quickly hurried back towards the table and, as she approached, noticed that Karen and Victoria had put their coats on. Juliet had noticed them checking their phones during the previous hour, but was surprised they had put their coats on whilst she was in the bathroom. So when Juliet got back to the table, not surprisingly, Karen and Victoria announced they should really be getting home.
"It's only ten," Juliet said to them. She wasn't exactly bothered by them leaving but wanted to feign that she was. The women gave the same excuse Juliet heard all the time in those days - they were mothers now and had to get home to their little ones.
Karen and Victoria left and Juliet was alone at the table. She started gathering her things when a man, about fifty years old, sat down next to her. He wore an expensive suit but looked a little sleazy still, somehow, as he sat there smiling at Juliet. Juliet just smiled back politely and continued to gather her things. The man then started to pat his leg - he was signalling Juliet to sit in his lap! The 'sleazy' assessment was spot on! Juliet had finished gathering her things and just left the table without making further eye contact with the man.
***
At Juliet and Burt's house, Burt was sitting and drinking with four guys: his old friend, James, who was also his best man; two work colleagues, Tim and Shaun; and Henry, who was Tim's brother, and who had been invited only to make the number of attendees seem a little less pitiful. Burt hadn't actually met Henry before that night.
The five men started by talking about themselves - their hobbies, etc. - because, as a group, they knew little about each other. James only knew Burt, and Henry only knew his brother Tim. But Tim soon turned everyone's attention to his brother, when he explained that Henry was one of those human calculators. No one believed him though, given how shabby Henry looked, but Tim was insistent.
"What's eight times four?" shouted James, to Tim.
"Thirty-two," answered both Burt and Shaun, simultaneously, within a second of James asking. Burt and Shaun then looked at each other and started laughing.
"That's kids stuff," said Tim. "Try some harder calculations than that."
"OK, seven thousand two hundred and sixty-two times, twelve thousand, five hundred and forty-nine?" shouted James again.
"Really!" Shaun said to James. "You're going from eight times four to... those stupidly high numbers you just -"
"Ninety-one million, one hundred and thirty thousand, eight hundred and thirty-eight," answered Henry, cutting off Shaun.
The room fell silent.
"No way is that right!" shouted Shaun, breaking the silence. "Someone check it."
Burt grabbed his mobile phone from the table and punched in the calculations. "He's bloody right!" he announced to the room.
"No way!" was the general response in the room, particularly from Shaun. Burt showed them his phone screen.
James and Shaun looked surprised; Tim looked happy that his brother got the correct answer and proved that he wasn't lying; and Henry just sat there looking rather smug.
