Julianna

Julianna.

I sat in her office, staring at the report. There was no doubt, Julianna was cheating on me, and had been doing so for some time.

My suspicions had been aroused earlier that night. She was drunk.

Julianna didn't often drink - but we'd gone over to a neighbour for a party they were holding. Their son was back from the Navy - and had proposed to his girlfriend. There had been a lot of jollity and we'd both had more to drink than was wise.

Neither of us was steaming drunk, but we were certainly merry - and when we got home, I was, not to put too fine a point on it, a little horny.

I'd gone to the bathroom to brush my teeth and take care of my nightly routine, and by the time I was ready for bed, Julianna had fallen asleep, still fully dressed, and only half lay on the bed. I came back into the bedroom, and seeing her so vulnerable, had run my hand up her leg, in the hope of waking her up, and getting some.

She only half awoke, and moaned.

"Please Ben," she said. "No more."

My name is Steve. Ben, is a guy she works with, who has eaten dinner at my house, whose wife I know, who we have vacationed with. Suddenly I was stone cold sober.

I brooded the entire night. Was that just a Freudian slip? Was she just fantasizing about her co-worker, or had they actually been doing more than working together. I thought to challenge her about it the next day, but knew that all I would get would be either laughed at, or she would explode in anger at me. Julianna when she was pissed, was a scary sight.

I needed to know though.

I'd love to be able to say that I'm the kind of man who can lay his hands on surveillance equipment, or order something from Amazon and bug her phone and handbag - but that's not me. And according to most of the stuff I read online about the kind of things you can buy on amazon - they don't actually work.

Nor am I the kind of guy who has enough cash to lay out on private investigators. Oh I do alright, the house is quite nice, and I'm up to date on all my payments, but I don't have thousands of dollars available to me. I work as an accountant in a small healthcare IT company. I do payroll and expenses. Its not the most exciting job in the world, but it paid the bills, or at least my half of the bills.

Julianna also worked. She worked in a local advertising agency. She created copy for advertising campaigns both online and for radio advertising. She hadn't yet managed to get anything of hers onto television yet though. She actually earned slightly more than I did, and we, between us were saving up until we had ourselves in a position where she could take a break long enough to have our first child.

We had been saving for the entirety of our four-year marriage.

Sex with Julianna was awesome. Even now - after six years together we hadn't settled into a routine. I had heard of couples who had sex once or twice a week or less. Always on the same day every week and always in the same way.

With us it was much more spontaneous. It was incredibly rare that an advance from either of us would be rejected by the other, no matter when or where, and she probably made more advances on me than I did her. We made love on average four times a week, and there wasn't a single space in the house we hadn't had sex in. That included the garage the attic space and even once in the crawl space under the floor. (Don't ask)

I couldn't even say that anything had changed in our relationship. We still made love the same number of times and we still were as spontaneous as we had previously been. It was this that I was clinging onto in the hope that she had just said the wrong name, simply because she worked each day with Ben, and was used to using his name.

It got to four o'clock in the morning and I still hadn't managed to get to sleep. Thoughts and actions kept spinning through my head. How could I find out, what would I do if she were cheating. I generated scenario after scenario where I found her in the arms of her lover and I did everything from blowing my own brains out in the room as they watched horrified, to blowing his brains out, then hers. In other scenarios, I simply said goodbye to her, and walked away, in dignified silence, getting into my car and never seeing either of them again. But before any of that, I needed to know. Was she cheating?

Silently I got out of bed, and went into the living room, where she had dropped her purse when we had come back from the party. I looked through it, not finding anything. I don't know what I expected to find. Condoms maybe, love letters? But there was nothing of the kind. Her phone was locked, but that wasn't a problem. I'd watched her any number of times unlock it - I typed in the number and looked through her calls and text messages.

There were calls to Ben, and texts also. I read them but they were all work related. Every single one of them. Obviously, I had no idea of the content on the calls, but still, there was no evidence that she had done anything wrong. I was in the process of putting her phone back in her purse when it slipped out of my fingers and landed on the floor. Shit. I thought I might have broken it. I picked it up and examined it closely for cracks or chips, and was relieved to find that there were none. I turned it over to see that something had slid up between the phone cover and the camera lens. It looked like a credit card.

I unclipped the phone cover, and found that it was, indeed a credit card. More to the point, it was in her maiden name, and was not one that I had any knowledge of. Since I'm an accountant, I was in charge of the household finances. I didn't control the money, but I filled in all the forms, paid all the bills, including the credit card bill, and did our tax returns. How and why she still had this credit card baffled me.

It did, however, increase both my level of suspicion and dread.

I looked on her phone again, and searched for an app from that credit card provider. As expected it was there. It was tucked away inside a folder that was labelled Junk and otherwise filled with all the apps that came with a phone and you couldn't get rid of.

I opened the app, and found I needed a password. Fortunately, or unfortunately, Julianna had it set to accept fingerprint authentication, and so I carefully sneaked back into the bedroom and with utmost care placed her finger on the screen. She didn't stir. The app opened.

Nervous that she might wake up, despite her seeming to be so out of it, I had sent all of her available statements to my printer in my office downstairs in the basement. Once the confirmation was done, I closed the app, put the card back in it's hiding place, and put her phone back in its case. I dropped it into her purse.

After poking my head once more into the bedroom, I went down to my office, and grabbed the statements off the printer.

There it was.

There were transactions, twice a week, on Monday and Thursday usually around three in the afternoon. $45 from a motel chain. It had the chain name and a branch number. Ten minutes on the internet told me that it was six blocks from the office she worked at. So, twice a week she was visiting a motel.

Despite it being painfully obvious why she was visiting the motel, I tried to think of other reasons that she might be going there. Was it possible that they had some kind of conferencing facilities and was taking clients there? I laughed at myself. I was grasping at straws. But even so, I wouldn't believe it, until I had seen it with my own eyes.

I looked back in the statements, and found that these visits had started about a month ago. A sudden wave of nausea washed over me, and I barely made it to the bathroom before I threw up. I was kneeling on the floor retching into the bowl when Julianna came in and bent down to stroke my back.

"You drank too much?" she asked. "Me too. Can I get you anything?"

I shook my head. I was still clutching the papers in my hands and I had tucked them into my chest, desperate for her not to see them.

"I just need a little time," I said. "Go back to bed. I'll be in in a minute."

"Okay," she said sleepily. She bent down once again and kissed the back of my head. My forehead banged off the toilet seat as I jerked away from her, but she didn't seem to notice.

I stayed in the bathroom for another fifteen minutes, until the nausea subsided, and then went back down to my office, hiding the statements in among some other paperwork. I knew that Julianna would never accidentally find them, she hardly ever set foot in my office, although I had fucked her over my desk on more than one occasion. As far as I knew, she never went in there when I wasn't home. Although what did I know. As far as I knew she was a loyal, faithful wife.

I went back into the living room, but couldn't bring myself to go into the bedroom. Instead, I dropped onto the sofa, and stared at the wall wondering. Thoughts kept spinning through my head. Only the most stubborn parts of me still tried to cling to the fiction that she was not having an affair, but I was still not fully prepared to face up to the reality. I still wanted more proof. I wanted to be certain.

I also wanted to know what I would do, if she was.

I knew Ben. He was a friendly guy. He'd been in the air force, stood a half a foot taller than me, and I had no doubt could wipe the floor with me if he so chose. His wife Mary, I liked a lot. She was a happy woman, always smiling it seemed, and their three year old, Tabatha was a joy. She called me 'Unca Ste' and had done since I had known her.

Divorce certainly. This would mean that both of us would lose out. The house would have to be sold, the proceeds split - we each had our own retirement accounts, hers being slightly larger than mine since she earned more than me. Since there were no children, I might actually be in the 'enviable' position that I would actually come out of a divorce better than most men. I doubted that a court would actually award me 'alimony' but I was certain they wouldn't award it to her either. Financially though, the only people who would win in a divorce - would be the lawyers. I decided to go online and see how easy it was to do a 'do it yourself' divorce. Perhaps if Julianna didn't fight it, we might come out of it reasonably unscathed.

Financially at least.

Divorce - is that what I wanted? No, God NO, I loved Julianna with everything I had. But I couldn't stay with someone who didn't love me back. I would literally take a bullet for her, that's how much I loved her. I doubted it applied in the other direction. She was taking something, but it wasn't bullets she was getting shot into her.

I felt another wave of nausea, but it passed after a couple of deep breaths.

I resolved to go and check out the internet for divorces, and then promptly fell asleep.

Julianna woke me with a glass of water and a couple of tylanol tablets.

"How do you feel?" she asked, her face full of concern. I must have looked terrible. Looking at the clock I'd been asleep for about three hours. My head was banging, my neck and back were killing me from lying in a weird position on the sofa, oh and did I mention I just found out that my wife was cheating on me?

"I've felt better," I said. She smiled at me sympathetically.

"You and me both," she said. "I took some painkillers before I had a shower. My heads clearing now. How much did we drink last night?"

"Too much," I said. doing my best not to either break down in tears or start screaming at her.

"Go get a shower," she said. "You'll feel much better after."

I very much doubted that.

I downed the tablets and all of the water, stood up stiffly, and then limped into the bedroom. I dropped my clothes on the floor and got in the shower.

"You could have put your clothes in the basket," Julianna complained as she came into the bathroom, picking up my discarded garments.

"You could have kept your legs closed," I mumbled back.

"Pardon?" she said.

"I said Sorry," I said, loud enough for her to hear over the shower. "I was going to get them when I got out."

"It's okay," she said. "I've done it. Don't forget we're going over the Ben and Mary's later for dinner."

I had forgotten. I had actually been looking forward to it. Mary was an amazing cook and served up Michelin level food. We'd got into a routine of going over there every other month, and they came to us on the alternate month. Julianna was a good cook, and acquitted herself fine in the kitchen, but I always preferred going to theirs. Only tonight - I really didn't want to go.

"I'm not really feeling upto it," I said, "I think I may be coming down with something."

"Nonsense," she said. "You'll be fine when those tablets kick in. Besides Tabatha would be heartbroken not to see her 'Unca Ste.'"

We spent most of the day, as we would normally spend a Saturday. Once or twice I saw the look in Julianna's eye that said she was horny and would try and instigate sex. Each time I pretended not to notice and moved on to doing something else. I wasn't sure if she noticed me noticing or not, but I played the I'm not feeling well card all day. It seemed to satisfy her.

I wasn't certain that even if I tried to have sex with her, I could. I had the horrible feeling that I would either throw up on her, or I simply just wouldn't be able to perform. In my mind's eye I could see Ben, lying between her legs thrusting away, or bending her over the kitchen counter, or lying on the floor as she rode him, her head thrown back screaming out her orgasm.

My imagination wasn't doing me any favours at all.

I spent most of the evening at Ben and Mary's in a bit of a fug. Tabatha had come over and clambered onto my knee as was her habit whenever I was over, and I gave her a hug. As soon as was reasonable, I got her to climb down again, citing that I had been sick and did not want her to get sick too.

"That was the alcohol," said Julianna, "You're not sick."

"I still feel sick," I said, "and I'm not still drunk."

Ben looked at me with concern in his face.

"Oh Buddy," he said. "You need some tylanol or something?"

I had an almost uncontrollable urge to punch him in the face, and then, once again I got an image of him and Julianna. This time her on her knees in front of him, his cock, which I'd never seen but I imagined being much bigger than mine, stuffed down her throat.

I just about made it to their bathroom before emptying my stomach once more.

"Oh baby," said Julianna once again rubbing my back. "Maybe you are sick. You want me to call the doctor?"

I shook my head.

"They'll only say it's a virus," I said, "tell me to stay hydrated, and call them in 3 days if I don't feel better."

"Come on," she said, solicitously "Let's get you home."

I heard her thanking Ben and Mary for the meal. When she said, "I'll see you Monday," to Ben, I retched again. Fortunately, I had already emptied my stomach.

Sunday I spent in bed. It was a good excuse to stay away from Julianna. I'd gone into the guest room, ostensibly so if it was a virus, I wouldn't give it to her, and also I wouldn't keep her up all night.

I slept a good portion of the day in any case, but my dreams were tortured and fractured. I lost count of the number of times I woke up in a cold sweat. I think I must have witnessed Ben and Julianna going through the entire Karma Sutra. In my dreams they fucked in every conceivable position, and each time I started awake just as Julianna screamed out her orgasm as he pumped his seed into her.

"How are you feeling?" asked Julianna. It was Monday morning, and I had gotten up and dressed for work. We usually got up at the same time, and left pretty much at the same time. Our offices were about the same distance away from our house, but in opposite directions.

"A little tired," is said. "But it seems I'm over it."

"Why don't you take the day off?" she said. "Make sure."

"I can't" I said. "We've got a huge audit coming up. I need to be there."

She nodded and then leaned in to kiss my cheek. I struggled not to pull away, but I managed.

"Okay," she said. "Let me know if you need anything. I'll see you tonight."

I nodded, we both got in our cars and headed off in opposite directions.

I went one block, turned the corner and pulled over.

I called my boss and told him that I was sick, and would not be in probably for a couple of days.

"Okay," he said. "If you're not going to be in after Wednesday, call in again."

I told him I would and hung up.

I drove to near my office, and then turned off location services on my phone. I didn't think that Julianna would check up on me, but if she did, she would see that the last place the GPS had me was at work. Then I drove to near where she worked, and parked. I left my car out of sight and went and sat in a coffee shop down the street. I brought my laptop and sat in the window, apparently doing work I ordered coffee and a Danish. I was hungry all of a sudden.

It was just after twelve that I saw Julianna's car pull out of her company car park. I was certain that she couldn't see me through the coffee shop window. I didn't race outside. I had a pretty good idea where she was going. Besides Ben's car was still in the car park. I didn't want to run into him.

Then I had a thought. I assumed it was him she was meeting in the motel. Mostly based on her saying his name. What if it wasn't him? What if that had been just an innocent mistake, and I had inadvertently stumbled on her affair, with someone else?

I was about to leave the coffee shop, when I saw Ben's car head out. It was heading in the same direction as Julianna had gone. I sighed. Was that relief? Was it better or worse that it was him she was cheating with?

I left the coffee shop and drove to the motel. I had a problem now. I could see Julianna's car in the parking lot, but it was by the office. Ben's car was parked in front of one of the rooms. I hoped that that was the room they were in, otherwise I'd be looking through windows all up and down the motel. I'd probably get arrested.

I approached the room, and noted that it was one of the only ones with the curtains closed, that was a good sign. Or at least a sign that I was onto the right room. Good was probably not the word to use.

The front of the motel was in shadow, which was lucky. If the sun had been shining on the window, my shadow would have been obvious even through the curtains. I walked to the unit, and simply sat on the floor under the window.

Since Ben's car was parked in front, I wasn't visible to anyone not on the walkway in front of the units. I listened. I could hear people talking, a man and a woman, but I could neither identify their voices nor hear what they were saying.

I turned on my phone camera and eased it up over the edge of the window sill. There was about a quarter inch gap between the bottom of the curtains and the ledge. This was a cheap motel after all. I could see inside the room. I could see Julianna sitting on the bed, and Ben standing in front of her.

All doubt was expunged in the next ten minutes as I watched and recorded the start of their sex session. She did indeed start by sucking him, although his cock was nowhere near as big as I had imagined. Then she stood and bent over, inviting him to take her from behind.

I'd seen enough. I wasn't making a porn movie, I was gathering evidence. I replayed the video I had on my phone and the pictures were not bad. I wanted to be certain that the two parties were identifiable so I put my camera on the highest quality setting and took a dozen still shots. I zoomed in on faces. There could be no doubt who was in there, and what they were doing.

I crawled away from the window on hands and knees. Once again I had thoughts of doing something to his car - or hers, but there was no point. I just needed to get home, and put everything in motion. It was a quarter after one.