Well, I have managed to mess up things royally now. What started out as my 'revenge fuck' cost me my marriage. I've been numb since the divorce papers were served, and Jim has written me out of his life permanently.
That night, while Mark was helping me to get even, I had doubts here and there that I may have pushed things too far. Mark, in his take charge attitude and guidance had managed to convince me that things would be okay though. I should have listened to my gut and heart, not to him.
The sex with Mark, while much anticipated by me, not only for the revenge part on Jim, but for the newness of a different man for the first time since I'd gotten married, just didn't live up to what I had imagined either. Marks insistence that we do it without condoms had been a stupid thing for me to agree on.
During that night of unlimited sex, I let Mark do things to me that I'd never allowed Jim to even consider doing with me. I wasn't thinking straight, hurt and angry at him, and I did those things with Mark much to my later regret.
When Mark first touched me with his tongue I went into heat. It was so dirty and nasty. Me, a married woman, having sex in front of my cheating bastard of a husband. I wanted to show Jim that I was desirable, that I could have fun sexually, that I was capable of so much more than that little home wrecker he was fucking behind my back.
As Mark first put his long hard cock into my dripping wet pussy, I glanced at Jim and had my first doubts..well, strong doubts. The look in his eyes was almost more than I could stand. I had to force myself to continue at that point, and I think that is where I went wrong. Had I stopped Mark and called it quits I may have been able to salvage my marriage.
As soon as Mark's cock bottomed out in me, I found that I got turned on to the point that I began to forget all about Jim. Lost in the powerful thrusts of that hard shaft, my nerves on edge already, I was soon cumming hard. By the time Mark had shot off in me, I was a bit beyond a 'good wife' and found myself in a 'slut wife' mode.
I could try to use a cop out here and claim that Mark was the best lover I'd ever had and knew how to do things to keep my mind off of Jim, or I could say that I felt vindicated as I fucked him in front of Jim...but neither would be the truth. I was turned on...I mean, the act of sex with this almost stranger after having decided what we'd do and how we'd do it, coupled with the shopping trip we had taken put my mind in a separate land.
The feeling of Mark's hard cock thrusting in and out drove me up and over and then up into a place I'd never been before. I think it was the nastiness of doing it in front of Jim that caused me act like such a slut. Maybe I was trying to prove, deep down, that I could be that for Jim. I'm not sure, even today, since my mind was so intensely focused on just getting through with the planned evening.
Later, Mark had lubed up my asshole, and with patience and gentleness, slowly taken my anal virginity. I looked back to see how Jim reacted to that, but I saw that he was either sleeping or just not wanting to see his wife give up something that she had so many times forbidden him.
At first, as Mark began to stroke in and out, it had hurt like hell, but by the time his cock got into a steady rhythm, and with the addition of more lube, the pain fell off and pleasure began to caress my body. I couldn't believe that something so dirty, so nasty, and so...well...perverted, could feel so good.
I orgasmed several times as Mark fucked my ass, and by the time he came I was drifting in a place I'd never been before. Mini-orgasms hitting me time and time again. Then, as his hot cum squirted into me, I came harder than I had all night. I collapsed onto the bed on my tummy, and Mark stayed with me. As his cock softened in me, he pulled it out. Without thinking, I rolled over, pushing him onto his back and began to suck him.
Me, taking a man's cock into my mouth right after his having fucked my ass with it. I had slipped down the slippery slope of perversion and nastiness I'd never even dreamt of. Yet, in some strange way, it made it even hotter for me. He had just brought me so much pleasure, I wanted to give him something special. But when I realized that I was doing this for someone other than my husband I lost a bit of enthusiasm.
Later, when it was all over, when I saw that look in Jim's eyes...I knew I had gone way too far. This had all been a stupid, sick idea. I had gotten my revenge...but at what cost? My heart was tearing as the realization that I should have chosen a different way, sent a knife through my heart. It hadn't been worth it in the end.
Watching Jim storm out of the house that morning, I was worried that I'd never see him again. I searched for hours before locating his car. Once I found his car at that motel, I tried to talk the manager into letting me into his room, but he refused.
I walked around until I happened to see him in the restaurant. I thought over my choices, and decided a clear and calm approach would work the best. Talking him into coming home was hard for me, since I could see in the cold clear daylight I had hurt him far more than I intended to. I tired to remain calm as I could. Tried to be a better person than I felt at that moment.
Once home I saw anger surface in Jim I had never seen before. It just kept building in him, showing up more and more in his jaws, his eyes, even in his actions. I hoped, so fervently I hoped that he would calm down and we'd be able to work through it all. Then, those few days later when his lawyer had the papers served on me my whole world collapsed. I died inside.
How had I been so blinded? How could I have not seen my revenge would push Jim way too far? Why had I been so fixated on getting even? Why couldn't I have just tried to forgive Jim and gone on with our lives? I lived a nightmare of epic length. Each day seemed to get worse than the last.
After we signed the divorce papers I tried to get on with my life. It was then I realized that I had missed my periods for two months. I had been so caught up in my life and the divorce I just didn't pay attention I guess. I was pregnant. Single, middle-aged woman...pregnant. I didn't know what to do.
I heard that Jim was having a party to celebrate his divorce, and digging around I found out where. Getting up my nerve to approach him was one of the hardest things I had done since the divorce. I dressed as best I could. Walking into the party I saw everyone stare at me, then look over at where I assumed Jim must have been sitting.
Once he stood up I almost turned and ran. He came over to me...the look in his eyes was not pleasant at all.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"I need to talk to you."
"We're divorced Sharon, it's over. Done. Finished."
"I...I know. I wanted...I..."
"What Sharon? You wanted what? Go on...spit it out."
"Jim...can we go somewhere and talk? Please?"
"Sharon...there's nothing to talk about. WE ARE DIVORCED."
He was still angry. I didn't, I couldn't blame him. I had not only broken his trust in me, I had destroyed any chance of fixing 'us'. I had only myself to blame too. His last words, almost at a yell shook me to my core. In all our married lives, Jim had never, ever yelled at me.
As he stomped by me I looked at the faces staring at us. Ashamed, I turned and followed him outside. Running in heels was something I hadn't counted on, and it took me about a half a block to catch him.
"Jim...Jim...please...wait. I just need to talk. I...I think...oh hell, I know I'm pregnant."
He stopped and turned on me angrily.
"God dammit Sharon...why do you think I"d care? We are divorced. Done. Finished. Kaput. Besides that, you know as well as I do, there is no way in hell that the baby could be mine. Go see your lover boy...he's the one you need to talk to. Not me. I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to see you...HELL...I don't want to even smell you or remember you. Go away. Just...go away."
The way he spat those words at me spoke volumes. He was still hurting over my revenge, badly so. What had I done to the man I loved? How could I have been so blind? I know that he hadn't been an angel, but he had not deserved what I had done to him, or to myself.
I burst into tears. I had nobody to turn to. I was alone. Well...I certainly couldn't go to our kids, now adults, and tell them anything. They knew we were divorced, but not the reason's why. I had been surprised that Jim hadn't said or told them what a slut their mother had been, but he had just told them to ask me why we got divorced. I told them a very skimpy truth. That we had just fallen out of love for a bit...and it had been enough.
We had always kept serious problems from our kids. Jim as well as myself had felt that they didn't need to be bothered with our problems. It carried over into our lives even after they had grown and gone out on their own too.
I knew that they stayed in touch with Jim as well as me, but they stayed out of our lives too. I guess they didn't want to get into the middle of something they couldn't comprehend. I mean, we had been married and we had seemed so happy up until a few months ago.
They were probably in shock, or worse...maybe they just didn't care about us anymore. A fear I had found since the divorce. I guess I felt so unlovable, that I thought even my kids couldn't love me anymore. I know it didn't make sense, but I had been through so much...in so short a time.
I stood there under the street light and watched the one man I still loved more than anything, walk out on me. His pregnant-by-another-man-ex-slut-off-a-wife. At that moment I felt as low as I ever had. I went home and just sat, staring at the wall. I didn't know what I was going to do. What would the kids think of their mother now?
The days went by, and I grew fatter. Pregnant. What had I been thinking? Too late to get an abortion...had I wanted to. Way to old to start changing diapers at two, three and four in the morning...alone, single. I don't know how many times I cried myself to sleep over the next weeks, but I think it was a nightly event.
"Mom...you're...you...you look..."
My daughter stood in my doorway staring at me. My swelling belly now showing that it wasn't fat. Definitely a baby on board.
"Pregnant. Yes...I'm pregnant."
"Does daddy know?"
"I told him. But...I can't believe this...Honey...it isn't your daddies. It is...I mean..."
How does a mother tell her daughter that she fucked around with a man, in front of her husband, forcing him to see her be a cheap slut...and got pregnant to boot?
"Is that why daddy left you mom? You were seeing someone behind his back?"
