If ever the devil was born without a pair of horns
It was you, Jezebel, it was you...
If ever a pair of eyes promised paradise
It was you, Jezebel, it was you...
If ever the devil's plan was made to torment man
It was you, Jezebel, it was you...
"Jezebel," written in 1951 by Wayne Shanklin, first recorded by Frankie Laine (1951), other recordings by The Everly Brothers (1962), Herman's Hermits (1967), The Mummies (1992), Anna Calvi (2010), and many others.
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Maybe I had it coming because I was - that is used to be - a shallow person. Shit, maybe I still am. However, no one who's not a criminal deserves what happened to me.
Both Megan and I had "histories" when we met at age 23, but resolved never to talk about them. We were attracted to each other at first sight, were fucking our lights out on our third date, and the next day started an exclusive relationship. Megan was the best fuck I ever had up to that point, extremely passionate, inventive, and unpredictable. Dominant one day (to the extent that a 5 foot 6 1/2 inch 120 pound woman could be with a 6 foot 3 1/2 inch 225 pound man), submissive the next; aggressive on Thursday, passive on Friday; pretending not to want or give oral in the morning, demanding it at night.
Although I was not really ready for marriage, after we had been dating a year, and living together for six months, and we were both almost 25 I got the "shit or get off the pot" ultimatum. While I sure liked Megan, and - like I said she was my best fuck ever by a significant amount - I wasn't positive about the marriage thing. However, when she had her suitcases packed and was ready to move out I got religion.
My main apprehension about marriage was that despite my "history" when single I thoroughly and unequivocally believed in monogamy. I wanted to be sure that Megan and I both were committed to that. I had a heart-to-heart talk with her about monogamy as I stopped her from walking out. She was enthusiastically on board with each of us being the other's one-and-only; so I proposed.
We were married within three months (her mother had booked the venue as soon as we moved in together) after I proposed, just before I was to start my last year of law school. It was a very classy and pleasant (but not over the top) wedding and reception for about 100 people.
My last year of law school I went at night, and worked as a paralegal during the day for one of the top three law firms in our city with the understanding that I would be hired as an associate once I passed the bar. Although Megan and I didn't get to see each other as much as we liked - she was working in a finance position at a corporation while finishing up her MBA - the time that we spent together was truly "quality time." We did everything together when not working or going to school, and we fucked like rabbits on Ecstasy.
Now it's time to introduce Jezebel. I knew that she and Megan were really tight growing up and in college, but I only met her two days before our wedding; "Jezz," as everyone called her (I found out her real name much later) was the maid of honor.
Jezz was "inimitable." That doesn't describe her exactly, but I can't think of another word or phrase that would, although "one-of-a-kind," "unique," and "matchless" would also apply. Jezz is about 5 feet 11 inches tall with legs long even for such a tall woman, and with her ubiquitous four or five inch heels on almost exactly my height. She probably weighed 140-145 pounds of mostly muscle, with a curvaceous body adorned by inordinately large tits. Her long hair has a color that defies description but is closest to blonde with auburn highlights, and her eyes -- Well if her hair color defies description her eyes are even more incomparable.
Her eyes are somewhere between exotic, alien, tiger, and ethereal. They are more like a cat's eye than a human's, almond-shaped and more intensely green than any I had ever seen before. Most unusual - they literally "glow." The green eye shadow that she usually wears accentuates their mysterious nature even more.
Jezz's mannerisms are as unrivaled as her appearance. When I was introduced to her my outstretched hand was pushed away and I received a full-on-mouth kiss from her luscious lips. Her conversation was light, easy, breezy, intelligent, and full of sexual innuendo. Her toast at the reception was full of wit and vigor, with just the right blend of nostalgia and mischief.
At Megan's insistence I asked Jezz to dance at the reception and when an active song ended and morphed quickly into a sensual one I soon found her magnificent mammaries pressed hard against my chest and her right leg between mine, causing an instant unwanted boner. At the time that I was able to break free when the song ended she blew into my ear "Too bad that given your excited package that Megan found you first," causing my brow to turn from nervously sweaty to downright dripping.
"What's wrong, darling," Megan asked with a big grin when I stumbled back to our table.
"Uh...nothing...uh...just a little...hot...on the dance...uh...floor," I stammered.
"You've been Jezzed," she chuckled into my ear, and then got up to greet some of her parents' friends who were approaching the table.
Any eyes that weren't on the bride during the entire reception were on the maid of honor!
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Our married life got even better when I passed the bar exam and Megan got her MBA. We worked only fifty hour weeks with matching hours, and had enough money to buy a nice little house and travel or go out on the town whenever we wanted to. We especially liked going out dancing every other weekend since both of us had taken lessons as teenagers, and could do most common ballroom dances, including Latin ones.
Even though Megan didn't travel on business in her job in compliance at the big corporation that she worked for, after re-connecting with Jezz she did travel three times to see Jezz over the next year, three or four days each time.
Our idyllic, uncomplicated, married life lasted a little more than that next year when Megan was re-connecting with Jezz.
Jezz got married, in her and Megan's home town, almost twelve months to the day after I passed the bar exam. Of course Megan was the matron of honor so we travelled to the wedding site two days before the nuptial. My greeting from Jezz when we arrived was "I'm sooo very happy to see you again, Blake," followed with not just a full-on mouth kiss but one with some tongue, right in front of Megan and her fiancΓ©, Horton Cumberbunch, a guy about five or six years older than Jezz's twenty seven. I had never met Horton before, but Megan knew him from her visits with Jezz over the time between our nuptials and hers.
You might wonder how someone named Horton Cumberbunch could grow to adulthood without a personality disorder or without having his face beat in. It was really simple. His parents had more money than God, he was very nice looking although at most an inch taller and twenty pounds heavier then Jezz, he had a firm, manly handshake, he was personable, and he was obviously very sharp mentally - easy to tell after only a five minute conversation with him.
While our wedding had been classy and nice, Jezz's wedding - paid for completely by her in-laws - was over-the-top. The flowers alone must have cost $25,000, probably what Horton's father Wilbur raked in every hour of every day. Although obviously filthy rich Horton and Wilbur didn't put on airs, although it appeared that Horton's beautiful (really, really good-looking; much better looking than Wilbur; and she looked like 45 although she had to be 60) but seemingly haughty mother Clarisse had a perpetual fake smile, upturned nose, and board up her ass.
I went to Horton's elegant - no strippers or getting sloppy drunk - bachelor party, and had several substantive conversations with both Horton and Wilbur, mostly about their business and my law career. Even Clarisse warmed up to me a little - at least she didn't condescend to me like she did to most of the other people around, and unless I imagined it I do believe that once she licked her lips when looking at me.
When Jezz walked up the aisle with a backless, strapless, Vera Wang wedding gown that only covered about half of her massive mammaries, there was a collective gasp from the 300 or so guests that could be heard even over the organ music.
Despite acting as the perfect hostess during the reception, Jezz found time to seek me out and break me away from an interesting conversation with two groomsmen and a bridesmaid about Olympic men's and women's volleyball, which we were all intrigued by.
"I have to borrow Blake for a rumba, dears," she cackled as she grabbed my arm and pulled me toward her with strength that rivalled that of a man her size; "Megan says that he's the only one here who could do it justice."
In fact I could dance a more-than passable rumba, only I never had with anyone else besides Megan since we got married because it requires real "sizzle" or "chemistry" between the partners for it to work.
Jezz dragged me toward the hottest band that I'd ever heard at a reception, and she was immediately acknowledged by the trumpet-playing leader as we approached the stage. In her own polite, yet no nonsense, manner Jezz said "Be a dear, Bradley, and play 'Ain't No Sunshine When She's Gone,'" the quintessential rumba song for partners with sizzle.
"Yes ma'am Mrs. Cumberbunch," he replied with a grin.
In the thirty seconds or so while the song that the band was playing ended, and before "Sunshine" started, Jezz unzipped the bottom portion of her dress so that it was just above her knee, with a smiling Megan surprisingly there to bunch it up for her and take it away. Then Jezz ordered - with such a big smile and sultry look that I couldn't take offense - "First thirty seconds with basic rumba box step, then advanced hip twist, walk, back check, and spot turn; then shoulder-to-shoulder progressive steps; after that I just follow your lead."
"Are you sure you want the shoulder-to-shoulder progressive steps?" I asked, chagrinned.
"With a lift," she cackled back.
I couldn't fucking believe it but the entire dance floor emptied - obviously prearranged by Jezz and my lovely matron of honor wife - and everyone stood around expectantly. While Megan and I had done enough rumbas that I was confident that I knew what I was doing, I had never done one with Jezz, or someone her size and heft, but this was not a time for timidity. "Just steel your balls and do it, ass-wipe," I mumbled to myself.