Jacob Jones' Paybac Forward

Jacob Jones had wanted to decline the wedding invitation, and not just because he cherished his weekends home with Janine. Unfortunately; his meddling mother had insisted that they should attend. Janine had obviously been bemused when she insisted that they accept the invitation. Mister and Misses Robinson's youngest son was getting married. Jacob was acutely aware of the possibility that Richard Robinson had been conceived at or about the time that Jake had been indulging in an affair with Rachael Robinson. Jake's mom had told him years ago that the Robinsons were unexpectedly expecting another child. Jake's mom had mentioned the birth when he was home for Christmas over a year later. Jake had been very careful to not seem to be to curious about the date of birth.

As Jacob perused the receiving line, he appraised the groom and his putative sire. Both men were a few inches taller than Jacob. Both men were far more massively muscled than Jacob. The paternity of the younger Robinson was obviously, indisputably and assuredly legitimate. Jake was relieved but also humiliated by the very belated realization that his sperm had gotten their little asses kicked.

After mingling with the other wedding guests and introducing Janine to anyone and everyone that she hadn't already met, Jake surreptitiously wandered outside. He was perusing the minimal changes to the church that had occurred over the years when Mister Robinson, senior rather than junior, joined him. Mister Robinson was toting a six pack of Miller beer by the plastic retainer. Jake nervously accepted a proffered beer. Jake almost choked on his first sip of beer when Mister Robinson casually said, "there was a time when the only consideration that dissuaded me from shooting you was the idea that it would be so much more fun to just beat you to death. I was actually reasoning that shooting you with a shotgun would be more logical because there would be less risk of leaving behind any forensic evidence that might incriminate he."

Jake nervously took a gulp of beer then another as he waited for the older man to continue "Of course I found myself imagining being creative about how I would kill you. Maybe I could prolong the pleasure by starting out by giving you a load of light birdshot in the gut and groin. That would probably kill you eventually, but only after prolonged agony. Then I could switch to buckshot. I imagined how much fun it would be to shoot you in each knee to cripple you, then shooting you in the elbows. Then when you were flopping around on the ground with no arms and no legs, I could finish you off by sodomizing you with the shotgun to inseminate with buckshot then a slug."

Jake didn't insult the older man by protesting his innocent. He asked, "you knew? Why didn't you shoot me?"

"I didn't know at the time. I only suspected. Rachael finally confessed at Christmas," Mister Robinson explained, but only after he had stopped laughing. "She finally confessed her affair with you. She also confessed that she hadn't been as careful as she should have been, so there was a possibility that I hadn't sired her unborn baby. She also reminded me that while she had been trying to be careful with you all Summer except at the end, she hadn't insisted on being careful with me. My wife begged me to not divorce her. When the baby was born, he looked like me and he was the right blood type to be my son, so I decided to accept the risk. Obviously; I truly am my son's father."

Mister Robinson paused to drink a long draught from his beer. Jacob took another gulp himself before he nervously replied, "I understand why you didn't kill me when you weren't certain. What I can't understand is why you didn't kill me after Misses Robinson confessed."

Mister Robinson finished his beer in one final gulp. He then set the empty beer can against the side of his head. The older man then crushed the beer can, John Belushi style. Finally; the older man spoke. "Killing you might have assuaged my wounded ego. However; it would have robbed me of the joy and satisfaction of raising my youngest son."

Jacob asked, "why didn't you divorce Rachael. Once she confessed her infidelity to you it should have been easy for you to prevail in court. You probably would have gotten the house and other major assets. You could have really Burned The Bitch."

Mister Robinson laughed at Jacob. "You've obviously not consulted a competent and honest attorney. Any reputable attorney will warn you that the only people who win in divorce court are the fucking lawyers. Divorcing Rachael would have been almost as stupid as killing you. I might have gotten a favorable property settlement. I might by some miracle have gotten custody of the older children. That means that I would have been responsible for raising children whose paternity I was no longer quite so certain of. I also understood that since I'm not a billionaire like President Donald Trump, I wouldn't have been able to find a new woman that was younger and hotter than Rachael. At best I would have been trading her in for another woman about the same age and probably no more attractive who already had children from previous relationships."

Jake nervously sipped his beer. "While it was logical, staying married must have been a bitter pill for you," Jacob speculated.

"Actually; it was amazingly easy," Mister Robinson explained. "When I became suspicious, I did a lot of soul searching. I realized that I'd become complacent. Ennui was the word that best described my attitude towards our marriage. I suddenly realized that even after twenty years of marriage and gaining twenty pounds, Rachael remained an attractive woman. I also acknowledged that she was justifiably frustrated by my waning virility at a time when her libido had kicked into overdrive."

Mister Robinson paused to open another beer and took a sip. "Rather than remain complacent, I became more engaged in our marriage. I suddenly wanted sex more often and was able to have sex more often. I began watching my diet and working out to get back into shape. My virility was rejuvenated. Twice a day became normal during my weekends home rather than just maybe once over the weekend. I became far more appreciative of Rachael's increased libido and sudden lack of inhibitions. She was suddenly willing to suck me off if I wanted her to although she preferred that I fuck her. She even agreed to try letting me fuck her in the ass, which neither of us really enjoyed."

Jacob quietly accepted the explanation. He took another gulp of beer. He finally asked, "weren't you worried that I'd give your wife a disease or get her pregnant.?

Mister Robinson laughed again. "I certainly wasn't worried about you giving Rachael any diseases. My own daughters had commented on what an unpopular nerd you were. While I was teaching you how to lay block, you'd also complained about how you couldn't get laid. You obviously weren't man enough to catch any diseases much less pass them onto Rachael."

Jake took another gulp of beer to finish his can. He set the base of the can against his head and tried to crush it just as John Belushi had done in ANIMAL HOUSE. His efforts were futile.

Mister Robinson laughed at him. "I could accuse you if being a wimp, but you're not that much of a wimp. There is a trick to it. The can is basically a column that you are subjecting to compression loads. The can is a very squat, cylindrical column with a small moment of inertia. That makes it resistant to buckling. However; if you use your fingers to push the sides of the can inward, the can will loose most of its resistance to buckling. It will be much easier to crush."

Jacob followed Mister Robinson's instructions. It wasn't easy and it hurt his head, but he was able to crush the can. Mister Jones graciously passed him another can of beer. Jake asked, "how about pregnancy? Weren't you worried that I might impregnate your wife?"

"Of course I was worried about that," Mister Robinson conceded. "However; Rachael was always complaining that her periods were starting to get a bit irregular and that she was almost over the hill. She obviously wasn't infertile yet, but she wasn't as fertile as she used to be. Since she had been being careful with me, I was hoping that she was at least trying to be careful with you. It seemed unlikely that you'd get her pregnant before you went away to school. However; I must confess that I stopped being careful myself. Rachael would remind me that I should pull out, but she never complained or resisted when I didn't."

Jake finally confessed, "would you feel vindicated if I told you that I might be in the same situation that you were in? There is a neighbor kid that I have been mentoring, much the same way that you mentored me. I have even hired him to build a block wall around my house because my job compels me to travel during the week. I don't have cause to accuse my wife, but I worry about it."

Mister Robinson was obviously feeling the effects of the reception punch as well as the beer. He casually unzipped his pants to whip out his penis, then began urinating. Jacob might have been offended, but Mister Robinson was being reasonably discrete. Jake realized that he needed to take a piss to. As the two men urinated, Jake found himself comparing his penis to that of his older mentor. Mister Robinson's penis remained much larger than his own.

As they zipped up, Mister Robinson asked, "what does this young stud look like?"

Jake nervously replied. "He's taller than you and even more muscular. Sven his dick is bigger than yours. He's also Black."

Mister Robinson began laughing. When he finally stopped he said, "you're fucked." He then handed Jake the remainder of the six pack and walked back inside to rejoin the wedding reception.

Jake was once again standing alone, holding the remainder of the six pack, watching Mister Robinson walk away as he sipped his beer. He remained outside drinking the last of the beers as he contemplated the conversation and his own situation. He knew what he should do.