It's Not My Damn Business

Dear readers, please again don't jump to a conclusion; I want to confuse you a little. No pain, no gain.

***

That fateful Friday, I returned from the gym on foot, extra jogging doesn't hurt. Three blocks from home, a car kept my way. Out of it came a guy with a wild mustache, the kind of man you wouldn't want around your kids.

The guy was headed with determined steps towards me. With a single gesture, he changed my life forever. Do you think he assaulted me? Nah, worse! He gave me a manila envelope.

"Mr. Moore, this is the evidence you asked for" he croaked. "Lots of pictures and two CDs. The wife is as guilty as she can be."

"Thank you, Roger," I answered, trying to hide my anger as best I could.

But the PI was fidgeting.

"If I were you, I wouldn't show this to Mrs. Moore. I mean, why upset her? You don't appear in the pictures anyway... Forgive me, but this doesn't concern you."

I gave him a killer look, but I recovered quickly.

"Thanks again, Roger. Everything's fine."

I paid for his service. He saluted me and vanished.

I put the envelope in my gym bag and ran home. I was furious.

Beth was on the terrace, sipping a refreshing drink. We waved and I rushed to take a shower, a good opportunity to calm down. Never argue when angry, you risk losing the situation out of hand.

Refreshed, I reached the terrace and kissed my wife.

Suddenly I slammed the manila envelope on the table. Beth shuddered a bit.

"I know everything," I spat, trying to control my anger. "Here's the evidence."

Beth was calmer than I expected. She examined the pictures, her face turning pale. What a shock, one was more explicit than others. I gave her a moment.

"Now, you know everything," she finally responded. "It was only sex; this affair won't affect our love. What are you going to do?"

"I have to trash Michael," I answered. "He asked for."

Beth stared at me, eyes bigger than ever.

"Why would you risk jail?"

"It's a matter of honor. I can't leave things like this."

"Think better, don't put our lives into a mess," my wife pleaded. "It's not your business; I don't see your face in any photo..."

Why is everyone repeating this? Of course, I'm not on evidence, I ordered the investigation. How could it not be my job? My family is my business. Period.

"If you are so damn stubborn, sit down," Beth suddenly told me. "We have to speak."

Oh, it was the dreaded phrase no husband wants to hear.

"You have too much time to waste," she almost barked at me. "If so, I give you a subject of thought."

The evidence didn't have the expected effect, on the contrary, I feared the worst.

"On Wednesday, I 'll take my lover to Hawaii for two weeks. Please be happy for us."

"I vouchsafe him, he's a well-endowed guy," I answered automatically. My wife smirked.

"Then I'll hire him as PA, responsible for my daily welfare. You know I can't always call you when I feel like... I prefer to have my stud next to me."

"The PA thing I'm not accepting," I protested. "It's beneath my dignity."

"Calm down, Hun" my wife smiled to me. "Officially will be a director position; I'm not into the humiliation game."

That's different, so I agreed.

"You reacted better than I expected," Beth continued. "But that's not all, my biological clock started ticking. In three months I want to be knocked, I want my first baby to be an Aries like you." she imposed.

I don't protest, I was warned from the beginning that children would follow.

"Afraid not," Beth smiled to me, "I'll do all the job. But..."

Oh, I don't like "but" or "if". She had vile plans.

"I'm meeting Edward on Monday," announced my serene wife. "Let me alone with him for 15 minutes."

"I can't stand him," I spat. "Don't want him in our home."

"Wrong answer Hun. You own him a debt of gratitude."

"Gratitude my ass," I thought. But I shouted up, was no point in adding fuel to the fire. I kept silence for a minute, then I asked if that was all. I heard myself talking, but wasn't my voice.

"No, I'll double your annual allowance. You're the best husband."

That was a piece of very good news!

After that, she dragged me to the bedroom, saying I have to deserve my money. Do you want to know how the evening went? Sure you want, but I'll keep the story for myself. I don't kiss and tell. Enough to know that we went to sleep late.

Saturday I went again to the gym. I have to take care of myself. But you know the drill; I returned home earlier only to face a nightmare! It was an unknown car in front of my house. I studied it closely, it was an expensive model. It occurred to me to cut its tires, but I thought, it would be a child's revenge, I can do better than that.

I stormed into the house. No one downstairs, the maid had a day off, how convenient! I can hear laughter upstairs from the bedroom. Beth is with someone! I eavesdropped her.

"Of course I play with the fire, but I'm in love with him," she said. Oh, crap!

I hurried inside and find the naked truth! Beth's companion shouted, but my wife was calm.

"Hello Hun, Anne wants to drag me to shopping."

Her older sister was there; I kissed her on the cheeks. But in no time I remembered about that suspicious car.

"There is an unknown car in front of the house," I yelled.

Anne was staring at me.

"It's mine, I bought it this week."

Sister-in-law interpreted my words differently.

"Relax, your car is better."

Beth burst into laughter:

"He's playing Othello."

Then she winked:

"Now, Hun, Ann came with some evidence, too. Come and see them."

She passed me the iPad.

I saw my sister-in-law with her husband, Steve, a guy fifty years old, with a respectable belly.

What was this, some kind of banter?

"I envy you, Beth," uttered Anne. "Allen has a sculpted body; I wish my Steve to be like him."

A nuance of regret in her words. Is she cheating on him?

"Allen has his own flaws," answered my wife. "He is stubborn and unruly."

Then Beth turned again to me.

"Better change and come with us. I'm not leaving you alone in this state you're in."

I hesitated, a sane man never follows women to shopping.

"So you'll be sure we don't fool around," she whispered in my ear.

What could I do? I have to shadow them.

In this time Steve played golf with some business friends. This is kinda sport.

We took Anne's new car. I played the driver. I love new cars.

The mall dabbled in stores and we ought to visit all, that's Beth damn duty. The sisters took their time, while I fought with boredom.

In the end, Anne returned home, and I drove Beth to a restaurant. We ate and danced; obviously, none touched my wife. Others have no trouble seeing their living partners dancing with strangers, but I'm not that man. I'm very possessive.

We returned home with a cab.

"Let's solve this Michael problem," proposed Beth as soon as we got in. "I want this out of your system, you have other problems to look at."

She called him right away.

"Hello Michael, Allen wants your head."

Straight to the jugular.

"We come tomorrow at lunch, Yes, I'll ask him to behave. Your wife will never know. Yes, he owns you. Relax, I'll not allow him to kick your ass."

Beth smiled again to me.

"He mentioned that you aren't allowed to hit a guy with glasses."

Is there a rule? I really didn't know it.

I had to release my fury, so I gave her a wild fuck. We finished soaked in sweat.

"Sex with you anything but boring. I love you for that, Allen," Beth praised me. "I never know what to expect."

*

Sunday was Michael's time. The lunch was great, I almost believed to be in a loving family. I really joked with Sarah, his wife. Then I drag him to his den.

I dropped the manila envelope on the table.

"Here you are, Buster!"

Michael's face turned yellow while he studied the photos.

"It's not your damn business," he said in the end. "I don't see why you're interfering."

"My family is my business, scumbag!"

Michael gave me a blaming look.

"Please be more considerate. Don't forget what I did for you!"

I pretended I didn't hear.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Absolutely nothing."

"If so," I responded full of anger, "I'll post them on the Internet. Let everyone know what a limp prick you are!"

Michael turned pale and took a few steps back as if my words struck him in the head.

"Give me all the evidence right now," he demanded me when he recovered from the shock. "I'm going to give you a check covering all your expenses, and we are burying the matter for good and all."

"I can't do that."

"Accept it, and we're even."

That's it, the past is past. We made the deal and returned to the ladies.

"I'm done with him for good," I told Beth on the way home. "I don't want to see him around anymore."

"You're too hasty, Hun," she replied. "We can't avoid him. Anyway, it's not only his fault..."

She's right here. Wives stray, husbands pay!

At home as always, another sex game. Why not? We don't have kids yet.

*

The final confrontation occurred Monday morning.

At the right time, I went into the Cafe Shop. Beth was talking to Edward. Damn, he looked so old!

"Beth, Ed, I hate to be here."

"Calm down, Hun!" My wife asked. "Ed will be important for our children. Please be nice, don't forget what you owe him."

Then my wife stood up and let us talk. She asked me to pick her up at the firm this afternoon. I admired her graceful walk and impeccable service suit. She's a beautiful woman.

I sat down and ordered a coffee.

"I'm listening," I told Ed.

"I deserve your reticence," he replied. "I failed as a dad, please let me be a better grandfather. Don't worry, I'm not going to be a pain in your ass."

I held up my hand, trying to cut him off.

"We'll see, however, there's still time to it. What else?"

"I have no excuse for my absence at your wedding. I already apologized to Beth, and now I ask for your forgiveness. "

"I'm accepting your apology."

"I meant it. I talked to her and I convinced

myself she is an extraordinary woman who adores you. It bothered me that she's ten years older. Christ, you're only twenty-five!"

"Come on, don't start again."

"Sorry," he answered right away. "But she cleared me, speaking about Michael's case."

"Stop talking to me about that fool!"

"No way, he's your brother, he took care of you when you were little."

"When you were cheating mom with some sluts!"

Edward left his head in the ground.

"Now I'm ashamed, but then I was young and mindless. Remember that I had as a father as many years as you guys had as my sons."

"Now, that's a lame excuse."

"I'm sorry, but I don't have a better one. I can't turn anything I've done, I'm going to live with this guilt."

"You're losing yourself in details Ed," I replied. "I thought you were talking about Beth and Michael."

"Oh, yes! Because Michael can't satisfy Sarah, she was forced to take lovers. But she was considerate, never brought men home."

I looked at him fooled.

"Huh? What about their vows?"

"Look, is not your business. Michael doesn't have your stamina. He's a scientist, has higher concerns, looks more like your mother than me. You're different, you're like me."

I immediately got enraged.

"Mother is a Saint! Keep her out of this discussion"

Ed gave me a bitter smile.

"For someone who wants to reconcile, I'm doing a poor job. Now, Michael has his reasons, needs a wife for official events and companionship. For him, sloppy moments are enough."

"I disagree!"

"You can't impose your brother how to manage his own life. Can't force him to divorce. None of us can, but Sarah. And she is satisfied."

"Sure she is, he's supporting her expensive lifestyle... But what about Beth?"

"She told me she knows she's playing with fire with you. I saw you coming to our table. Believe me, all the women were looking for you. You're eye-candy and very well-dressed."

"It's not like that, we have a prenuptial. If I stray, I'll leave with what I came to this marriage: nothing. I'll even leave the clothes I'm wearing."

"If, by absurd, she will be the cheater?"

"I don't even want to think about it. I exclude the idea!"

"Respond me, please," Dad insisted.

"If so, I'll leave with fifty million dollars, an appropriate amount to comfort my suffering."

Ed was about to fall off the chair.

"Wow, son! For this money, all men are willing to be cheated."

Not me, my honor is not for sale. But he couldn't understand that.

"Be more concise," I spat. "You always jump from one topic to another, it's hard for me to follow you. I thought you wanted to clarify something."

"I'm sorry! But we haven't seen for ages, and I have too many things to say. Well... Your wife and Sarah have the same age. But Michael is forty-five, while you are only twenty-five. This twenty years gap between you two feels terrible in bed. It's the difference between being always satisfied as Beth and eternally dissatisfied as Sarah."

"Poor Sarah, boo-fucking-hoo!"

"Anyway, Beth thinks you two have the best possible marriage," Dad continued. "Women usually take an older husband to protect and support them. It's not my case, she told me,

I have more money than I'd ever dreamed of spending. I can afford to choose a husband to my liking, no more compromises. I look great anyway; with cosmetic treatments and plastic surgery, I will not show my age. So, son, I apologize, you were wise to choose Beth."

"I accept your apologies, Dad."

He got my statement with tears in his eyes. We embraced for the first time in many years. I was glad to bury the hatchet.

Then I drank my coffee. We've studied each other for a while.

After some time, Dad broke the silence.

"If you're not working, where did your money come?"

"You're too curious for your own good, but I'm answering. I have an allowance."

He stared at me. He was ready to burst into laughter, but he abstained, remembering that we were just getting back together.

"Come on Allen! You can do better than that!"

"I really doubt it."

"How much do you receive per month? A hundred, a thousand dollars? I don't know anyone else to receive an allowance from his wife, forgive me for being so curious."

"I'm answering you because you're my father. This year I have a million bucks, but I don't borrow money."

Ed was ready to fall off his chair, again.

"Are you kidding me?"

"I've never been more serious. It's not so much, only the car cost me 250,000. Look at my tie, it worth ten large."

Father was flabbergasted.

"You shock me with every sentence. I never dare to touch such a tie."

"Because you're not married to Beth, this is a minimum in her clique."

"Wow, son, wow. I worked my ass all day long and never dream to spend your money."

"I made my own destiny. Other questions?"

"I don't understand... Why Beth refers to you both as her husband and as her lover?"

"It's our game. There are other details that I will not mention..."

"Did you pry into Susan life, too?"

(Susan is my older sister, thirty-three years old, married to Peter.)

"First I followed her husband, nothing to report. After that, I was surprised to find she was a serial cheater.."

"Don't tell me you reprimanded her."

"Then I won't tell," I smiled. "But I did..."

Suddenly Ed became pale.

"You followed me too, didn't you? Even though we were mad at each other?"

"Of course," I responded calmly. "I was obliged, you're family. I couldn't choose my relatives. I encourage you to resume relationships with Mom, only to give up that whore, Millie."

Father nodded.

What else is there to say? I'm still thinking about watching Anne and Steve. I'm not yet clear in mind whether they are part of my family or not.

That was all, folks. But only for now...

(to be continued)

Note- I could start this story quite different:

The PI informed Allen Moore that his brother, Michael, is a willing cuckold. Allen was furious, but his wife, Beth, praise him to not involve in that mess. She told him about a wonderful trip to Hawaii. After that, he will work with her on a daily basis. Beth doesn't dare to cheat on Allen, the penalty was huge.

Simple, indeed, but was no fun there. I prefer my option.