Dear readers, please again don't jump to a conclusion; I want to confuse you a little. No pain, no gain.
***
That fateful Friday, I returned from the gym on foot, extra jogging doesn't hurt. Three blocks from home, a car kept my way. Out of it came a guy with a wild mustache, the kind of man you wouldn't want around your kids.
The guy was headed with determined steps towards me. With a single gesture, he changed my life forever. Do you think he assaulted me? Nah, worse! He gave me a manila envelope.
"Mr. Moore, this is the evidence you asked for" he croaked. "Lots of pictures and two CDs. The wife is as guilty as she can be."
"Thank you, Roger," I answered, trying to hide my anger as best I could.
But the PI was fidgeting.
"If I were you, I wouldn't show this to Mrs. Moore. I mean, why upset her? You don't appear in the pictures anyway... Forgive me, but this doesn't concern you."
I gave him a killer look, but I recovered quickly.
"Thanks again, Roger. Everything's fine."
I paid for his service. He saluted me and vanished.
I put the envelope in my gym bag and ran home. I was furious.
Beth was on the terrace, sipping a refreshing drink. We waved and I rushed to take a shower, a good opportunity to calm down. Never argue when angry, you risk losing the situation out of hand.
Refreshed, I reached the terrace and kissed my wife.
Suddenly I slammed the manila envelope on the table. Beth shuddered a bit.
"I know everything," I spat, trying to control my anger. "Here's the evidence."
Beth was calmer than I expected. She examined the pictures, her face turning pale. What a shock, one was more explicit than others. I gave her a moment.
"Now, you know everything," she finally responded. "It was only sex; this affair won't affect our love. What are you going to do?"
"I have to trash Michael," I answered. "He asked for."
Beth stared at me, eyes bigger than ever.
"Why would you risk jail?"
"It's a matter of honor. I can't leave things like this."
"Think better, don't put our lives into a mess," my wife pleaded. "It's not your business; I don't see your face in any photo..."
Why is everyone repeating this? Of course, I'm not on evidence, I ordered the investigation. How could it not be my job? My family is my business. Period.
"If you are so damn stubborn, sit down," Beth suddenly told me. "We have to speak."
Oh, it was the dreaded phrase no husband wants to hear.
"You have too much time to waste," she almost barked at me. "If so, I give you a subject of thought."
The evidence didn't have the expected effect, on the contrary, I feared the worst.
"On Wednesday, I 'll take my lover to Hawaii for two weeks. Please be happy for us."
"I vouchsafe him, he's a well-endowed guy," I answered automatically. My wife smirked.
"Then I'll hire him as PA, responsible for my daily welfare. You know I can't always call you when I feel like... I prefer to have my stud next to me."
"The PA thing I'm not accepting," I protested. "It's beneath my dignity."
"Calm down, Hun" my wife smiled to me. "Officially will be a director position; I'm not into the humiliation game."
That's different, so I agreed.
"You reacted better than I expected," Beth continued. "But that's not all, my biological clock started ticking. In three months I want to be knocked, I want my first baby to be an Aries like you." she imposed.
I don't protest, I was warned from the beginning that children would follow.
"Afraid not," Beth smiled to me, "I'll do all the job. But..."
Oh, I don't like "but" or "if". She had vile plans.
"I'm meeting Edward on Monday," announced my serene wife. "Let me alone with him for 15 minutes."
"I can't stand him," I spat. "Don't want him in our home."
"Wrong answer Hun. You own him a debt of gratitude."
"Gratitude my ass," I thought. But I shouted up, was no point in adding fuel to the fire. I kept silence for a minute, then I asked if that was all. I heard myself talking, but wasn't my voice.
"No, I'll double your annual allowance. You're the best husband."
That was a piece of very good news!
After that, she dragged me to the bedroom, saying I have to deserve my money. Do you want to know how the evening went? Sure you want, but I'll keep the story for myself. I don't kiss and tell. Enough to know that we went to sleep late.
Saturday I went again to the gym. I have to take care of myself. But you know the drill; I returned home earlier only to face a nightmare! It was an unknown car in front of my house. I studied it closely, it was an expensive model. It occurred to me to cut its tires, but I thought, it would be a child's revenge, I can do better than that.
I stormed into the house. No one downstairs, the maid had a day off, how convenient! I can hear laughter upstairs from the bedroom. Beth is with someone! I eavesdropped her.
"Of course I play with the fire, but I'm in love with him," she said. Oh, crap!
I hurried inside and find the naked truth! Beth's companion shouted, but my wife was calm.
"Hello Hun, Anne wants to drag me to shopping."
Her older sister was there; I kissed her on the cheeks. But in no time I remembered about that suspicious car.
"There is an unknown car in front of the house," I yelled.
Anne was staring at me.
"It's mine, I bought it this week."
Sister-in-law interpreted my words differently.
"Relax, your car is better."
Beth burst into laughter:
"He's playing Othello."
Then she winked:
"Now, Hun, Ann came with some evidence, too. Come and see them."
She passed me the iPad.
I saw my sister-in-law with her husband, Steve, a guy fifty years old, with a respectable belly.
What was this, some kind of banter?
"I envy you, Beth," uttered Anne. "Allen has a sculpted body; I wish my Steve to be like him."
