Its A Dun Deal

Author's Note:

Dear Readers,

Thank you for taking the time to read my efforts. This one is a follow-up to my last story "All In A Day's Work." Some astute commenters on that tale pointed out that I had somehow left out one of the most popular tropes in the LW universe, i.e., the faithful PA/secretary who has loved our MC forever and is waiting in the wings to replace the cheating slut wife. I had to smack myself in the forehead for that. So, this is my attempt to rectify that oversight. Along the way, I thought of a couple of other chestnuts to throw in. You'll spot them easily.

Hope you like it.

OHG

Oh, and for the first time, there is a smidgen of sex in here - just a smidgen.

*****

"Dun, we've got a serious problem."

The screen on my phone said the caller was Billy Ray Seymour, my new COO.

"How's that, Billy Ray?"

"I just got a call from the Contracting Officer Representative. She said there's been a protest filed on the contract... award date will be delayed. And you'll never guess who filed the protest..."

"Are you shitting me? Bart Ramsey?"

"Well, not him directly, but his number one small business partner - you know, NAMPAX - they're not only small, but they are also woman-owned."

"I'm just...- Angel would you turn off that damned vacuum cleaner for a second - ANGEL, TURN OFF THE VACUUM!" OK, where were we? I am amazed. I just don't know what to say. You have to admire his tenacity. Was he a war hero or something? I guess losing one of his balls and three toes wasn't clear enough...you know, this reminds me of a movie."

"Everything reminds you of a movie, Dun."

"Yeah, I know. Did you ever see "The Magnificent Seven", Billy Ray? Not the new one with Denzel - the old one with Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, James Coburn, Charles Bronson, and Robert Vaughn. All those guys went on to become bigtime movie stars. But the best actor in the whole shebang was Eli Wallach - he played Calvera, the leader of a gang of banditos who rode around terrorizing all the small Mexican villages south of El Paso. One of these villages gets tired of being robbed, so they collect the gold and silver altar pieces from their church and go off to hire these American gunslingers to defend their village. When Calvera returns to the village and is confronted by the Seven, he laments that he had gone soft and left the village its religious relics. He said, "It shows you, sooner or later, you must answer for every good deed." And that was kind of the source for the "no good deed goes unpunished" meme. Man, I loved that one - my dad's favorite movie, by the way."

"I'm not sure I get the reference, Dun."

"We left Ol' Bart alive! With his dick and one testicle! Maybe, we shouldn't have been so...Angel, for the love of God, TURN OFF THE VACUUM! generous, B. R. So, what did the COR say?"

"She said these kinds of protests are routine and never go anywhere. Besides, we're not the prime, and you know Lockheed's not gonna let anything mess this up. So, we just have to hold tight and wait three or four weeks for the award. It's not good but it could be a lot worse."

"OK, Billy Ray. Just keep me posted."

I hung up. I turned to my lovely personal assistant,

"Angel, sweetheart. How many times do I have to tell you I can't hear the telephone when the vacuum cleaner's going. And why are you doing that anyway? I'm paying a maid to do that. If YOU'RE gonna do it, I'll just fire the maid, and your cousin Maria will be out of a job."

"No, Dun, please don't do that. I am SOOO sorry. But this new cordless is so much fun to use, and the mindless repetition is so therapeutic after spending hours reading RFP's."

Angel Ramirez has been my personal assistant for four years - since I started my own company. Many bosses say it, but I really mean it - she has become indispensable to me. My business wouldn't survive without her. She's incredibly smart, efficient, industrious, analytical, observant, and perceptive. She's my secret weapon in all my business dealings. She also possesses most of the attributes appreciated by the more superficial male - petite, voluptuous, with jet black hair and dark eyes and coloring. Imagine Salma Hayek in "Desperado".

Angel comes from an incredibly large Hispanic family. She has three sisters and three brothers, too many nieces and nephews to count, six or seven living aunts and uncles (counting both sides), and at least 20 or 30 first cousins, including my maid, Maria. I won't get into the second cousins or the "once removeds". Anyway, it's a big family and if things continue the way they've been going, I'll eventually be employing most of them. So far, in addition to Maria, there's Cousin Fernando - my driver, Cousin Carmen - my cook, Cousin Julio - security, Cousin Hector - IT Director, Cousin Juanita - HR Director, and many more to come. I'm not complaining- they're all - every last one of them- great employees.

It was from the cousin network that I got the astounding news that Angel was in love with me and had been since her first year working for me. I was totally clueless. I'm a one-woman man. Until I discovered her doing the horizontal bop with Ol' Bart, I only had eyes for my wife Mel. So, imagine my surprise when I found Cousin Carmen and Cousin Fernando having a whispered conversation in the kitchen. All I heard as I was walking through was "you think he knows?" - answered by "not a clue."

"What? What does who know?"

Carmen answered while Fernando fumbled,

"Just another one of the cousins, Dun. She's been crushing on her boss for a long time and she's afraid to let him know. But she's worried that if she doesn't, he'll never catch on and she'll die a lonely old maid."

"Which cousin is this? Do I know her? Does she work for me?"

"No, no, Boss. You don't know this one - this is Uncle Javier's daughter - over on the Hernandez side."

"So, what's the big deal? Is this guy mentally deficient- ride the short bus to school or something?"

"Yes, pretty much."

"Well, if he's that clueless, what does she want with him? "

"We're wondering that ourselves...guess the heart wants what it wants."

"Maybe so...whatever, she should still tell him. Even if he rejects her, the short-term pain is better than a lifetime of regret. I sure wish Mel had told me she was a cheating slut, before I married her."

Fernando now jumped in,

"But Boss she's friends with this guy and she's afraid she'll lose that friendship and her job."

"Well, if he's any kind of man worth having, he'd do the right thing- tell her he'll always be her friend, and she still has a job if she wants it. I wouldn't fire somebody for loving me, unless...he's not married, is he?"

"No, not really."

"What does that mean? He's either married or he's not."

"Well, he's in the process of getting a divorce."

Ferdy said this with a slight smirk. I saw that and then it hit me.

"You talking about me? Angel?"

Simultaneously, they rolled their eyes, as if to say, "how can anyone be this thick?"

"No, can't be. She's never said a word - never given any indication. You guys are way off base."

"She's told us both straight out."

I started whining.

"So, what do I do about it? I don't want another romance right now. I like to take my failures one at a time."

Like a trooper, Carmen waded in.

"Sorry, Dun, we can't advise you on that, since we've already been retained by Angel as her confidential advisors. It wouldn't be ethical."

"Why you little shits...and what's this short bus crap? I should fire you both."

"You already fired me twice this week, Boss, but here I am - the proverbial bad peso."

"Shouldn't you be starting dinner? And don't you need to be doing something to the car?"

With that, I walked out of the kitchen and headed down the hall to the sanctity of my workout room, where I sat down on the bench and pondered. What was I going to do with this new information? I was mentally prepared to handle just about anything - except love. You get that way when you're raised in an orphanage. My parents had been killed in the space shuttle Columbia explosion, when I was eight. No, they weren't astronauts - they were driving home from visiting the Magnificent Seven filming locations about the same time the shuttle was flaming out over Texas. One of the landing gear assemblies fell smack dab on top of their Tercel rolling down I-40. They never knew what hit them. I had no other family - they'd left me home with my mom's best friend Cheryl. But being good Catholics, I was a shoo-in for St. Joe's School for Boys. I got a lot of guidance but not a lot of love. I still bear the scars from that - literally, I still have huge scars and welts on my back from the many corrections I received from Father Flanagan. But I have to say, his discipline got me ready for the military and those six deployments to the Sand Box. Bless his heart, I still visit him every month out at the Limestone prison.

Mel had been my first girlfriend, my first lover, my first wife. I had come to love her, and I had gotten used to her love. And she had dropped a bomb on all of that. I don't think I could ever trust like that again. Angel is a fine girl, but so was Mel. Look how that worked out.

The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I got. What was Angel thinking? What right did she have to fall in love with me? Just when I was beginning to get over Mel - she goes and throws this monkey wrench in? Unbelievable. And just when I was settling back to work on that third PhD.

I got up off the bench and started punching the heavy bag. In my anger, I lost track of time. I hadn't wrapped my hands, so when I finally ran out of steam, every knuckle was bleeding. Cursing profusely, I stomped back upstairs. Looking down at my bloody hands in front of me, I almost ran over my troublesome PA, who apparently had just come in.

"Ewwwwww! Dun, what happened to you?"

"I got a little carried away on the heavy bag."

"You did this working out? What's wrong with you? If you're not going to wrap your hands, you should at least know when to stop."

She grabbed my arm and pulled me down the hall to the master bath. She turned on the cold water and shoved my hands under. I yelled like a little titty-baby, but she held them there.

"Now keep those under that water while I find the first aid kit."

She rummaged through the towel closet and came out with a handful of tubes and a brown bottle of something.

"Angel, if you pour alcohol on my fingers, they'll find you floating face down in the Tennessee River."

"Oh, shut up, you big baby. This is not alcohol - it's peroxide..."

With that, she doused my cut hands with this stuff that bubbled and foamed and stung like hell. OK, maybe it wasn't as bad as alcohol, but it still stung. Then she started dabbing my knuckles and applying the triple antibiotic cream. Another five minutes and the whole job was done, with Band-Aids, gauze and tape applied.

I sheepishly told her,

"Thanks, Angel, sorry to be so much trouble."

So, tired and disgusted with myself and the world, I said,

"Tell Carmen I'm not feeling up to dinner - you guys eat without me. I'm going to bed."

And I did just that. Tomorrow, I would have to deal with Bart and Angel, before both problems got out of hand.

*****

I did not sleep well. The nightmares returned - with a vengeance. They had started after my last deployment. We were on a routine patrol in Anbar when my Hummer ran over an IED. My driver and gunner were killed instantly. I was knocked unconscious. I came to when my best friend Mike Williams dragged my ass out of the burning vehicle and stuffed me in his. As we turned around to get out of there, his driver ran over an IED. The explosion threw me out and the last thing I saw was Mike's hand reaching through a wall of flames. I woke up three months later from the medically induced coma. I had more holes in me than a cheese grater. But I seemed to be healing OK. Unfortunately, one of the head wounds had damaged my eyesight, so my snipering days were over. Since I spoke Pashtun, Farsi, and four other languages, they tried to palm an interpreter's job off on me, but I took the medical discharge instead.

I met Mel soon after I got back home - she was one of my physical therapists at the VA Hospital - this was before her real estate ventures. We both fell for each other right off. Three months later, we were living together in her apartment. That's when the nightmares began. Strangely enough, I'd start thrashing violently and sweating and apparently would get a huge erection. I lost my V-Card when Mel impaled herself on me trying to calm me down. It worked. With her treatment, the dreams stopped after about 4 months. But she didn't stop treatment for another six, when she finally figured out I was faking it. But let me tell you, this PTSD thing is real. And now it was back.

But as wiser men have said, life goes on. I crawled out of bed. I had to get to work on my two immediate problems. First, I was going to call Angel. As I picked up my phone, it started buzzing and I saw it was Billy Ray again. "What fresh hell is this?" I said as I hit the button.

"What now Billy Ray?"

"Good news this time, Dun. NAMPAX dropped the protest. Turns out Bart pissed off Marla, so she just decided not to play along with him anymore. So, contract award and signing are back on - day after tomorrow at the Pentagon. You're expected to be there. I've already talked to Angel - she's making arrangements as we speak."

"That IS good news. I'll get with Angel on the details. I'm gonna take her with me. You OK to hold the fort here?"

"Sure, Dun. Go get that thing signed so we can get started."

"OK, B.R. You better keep an eye on Bart Ramsey - he's a wounded tiger now, so no telling what he'll do."

"I hear you, Dun. Y'all have a safe trip."

As soon as he signed off, I called Angel.

"Billy Ray says you've got all the info you need, so I'll leave it to you to get the flight and hotel set up. You know you're going, too, don't you?"

"Yes, Dun. I've already made all the reservations. We've got the 1:15 flight to Washington Reagan and rooms booked at the Crystal Gateway. They have an airport shuttle. On Wednesday, Lockheed is sending a car to pick us up at 12:45 for the ride to the Pentagon. We're all set."

"Great. Thanks for being your usual efficient self. I'll see you in the morning. We'll try to leave for the airport about 11:45."

I know. I didn't say anything to her about her feelings for me. With this critical bit of business looming, I was going to kick relationship talk down the road. I was also going to wait and see about Ramsey.

*****

Our flight was uneventful - we caught the shuttle and made it to our hotel in plenty of time to check in before catching dinner in the hotel restaurant. As usual, Angel had booked us a two-bedroom suite. Before going to our bedrooms, we sat on the sofa in the common area and went over our schedule for the next day. Then, we said goodnight and went to our beds. I don't know about Angel, but traveling always exhausts me, so I fell asleep quickly. Two or three hours later, the nightmare hit me. Mike Williams' burning hand and face. I could feel someone shaking me and I could hear a voice calling my name. My eyes shot open, and I saw Angel bending over me. I don't know - maybe I thought she was Mel or maybe I wasn't thinking at all, but I grabbed her and pulled her over me, ripped her panties off, and plunged her down on my raging hard-on. I heard her gasp and then I started raising her up and down as fast as I could. This carried on to its natural conclusion. Next thing I know, I was awake with my arms around a crying Angel lying on top of me.

"Oh, Dun. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..."

She kept saying this over and over until I had to intervene.

"Angel, stop it! You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I forced you..."

"No, no, no. I wanted that Dun...I've wanted it for a long time. But you were married, and I would not be a homewrecker, so I said nothing. And even after you filed for divorce, I could not say anything - I love working for you, and being your friend - you're my best friend, you know that? I knew that sex would complicate things, and I would lose my job and lose you as a friend. Now, I've screwed it up and I'm going to lose everything."

She dissolved into tears, burying her face into my chest and wrapping her arms tight around me. I rubbed her hair and kissed the top of her head.

"You're not losing anything, Angel. Lie down here. We'll talk about this tomorrow."

*****

When I woke up next morning, Angel was not in the bed with me. Worried that she might have done something stupid like quit and go home, I jumped out of bed and went looking for her. I found her in the common area, fully dressed and waiting for me. I hurriedly showered, got dressed, and we went down to breakfast. While we were eating, we had the talk. She started.

"Dun, I'm sorry about last night. I don't know what happened...you were yelling and waving your arms and sweating like crazy. I was trying to wake you. Next thing I know, I'm riding you cowgirl and having an orgasm. If you want me to resign, I will. But I don't want to. I'm in love with you, Dun...have been since I met you."

"I know. Carmen told me."

"Why that useless bitch! I'll kill her. I don't care if she is my cousin. She swore she would keep my secret."

"Relax, Angel. It was an accident. I overheard her and Ferdy talking in the kitchen. When I confronted them, they spilled it. I have to admit - at first, I was not pleased with the news - I'm just getting over Mel - hell, my divorce won't be final for two more weeks. I just thought this was one wrinkle too many. Last night was an accident - my PTSD's back and sex seems to calm that. But Angel, I would never fire you. I don't want you to go anywhere. You're my best friend, too. I already love you as a friend, so maybe it's not so big a step to move on to something more. So, why don't we try and see if this goes somewhere? When the divorce is all done, I'd like us to date each other. I'd like to romance you, Angel, if I can figure out how."

She was about to cry again. I leaned across the table and kissed her softly on the lips. She whispered, "I'd like to try that with you, Dun."

We finished up breakfast, went back to the suite to freshen up, then met our limo for the ride to the Pentagon. Getting to the Pentagon was a breeze. Making it to the right conference room was a hard slog - about a seven mile walk around the outer ring. We finally made it but had to wait 20 more minutes for the potentate assigned to bless our union. This time it was the Assistant to the Deputy Assistant Undersecretary for Badass Weaponry or something like that. She was an attractive but very very serious lady. In announcing the award and presiding over the signing, she said she "looked forward to the unparalleled success of the synergistic relationship between the DoD and the Lockheed/Dunwoody Engineering Team." According to her, "the Joint Air to Ground Offensive Fast Flight (JAGOFF) missile system would give the American warfighter the supreme edge in Future Combat." I couldn't have said it better myself.

We went home and kicked off work on the contract. Lockheed was handling the hardware. We were developing the software. Life was busy...so busy, in fact, that I didn't even notice when my divorce became final. Angel, however, didn't miss the day.

"Are you going to ask me out now, Dun?"

"Yes, get your LBD on. We're going out for dinner and a dance."

I took her to the new Tom Brown's steakhouse and then to a dance club. That was the first of many dates. Within three months, I was completely besotted with her. Now, my entire life - personal as well as professional - revolved around her. As my love for her grew, the nightmares receded - without treatment. I hadn't touched her again.