"What do you mean you weren't born in Chicago?"
"What do you mean, what do I mean; I mean I wasn't born in Chicago, I was born in Grand Rapids, Michigan," I said trying not to laugh at my wife's obvious distress over something as trivial as my birth place. "Why, what difference does it make?"
"Steve, it makes all the difference in the world," she said angrily. "It means the astrological chart I did on you before we were married is all wrong."
I knew all this lunacy had to have something to do with the way the planets were aligned but this topped everything. Cora, my wife of four years, was pissed at me because I didn't make it a point to inform her where I was born before we were married. Now she has no idea if the stars say we're compatible as a couple or not. How the hell someone as intelligent as my wife can be so taken in by all that astrology crap, I'll never know.
Obviously I've known about her interest in it since we met a little over five years ago, but I've always thought it was more of a hobby than anything...I mean, no one can really and truly believe in that junk...right? Hell, I have golf; she has astrology, no big deal.
I first met Cora at a party and pretty much fell in love with her from the moment she smiled at me. She was smart and witty with an infectious laugh and sparkling blue eyes.
Normally I'm shy around women but she was very popular and I knew if I didn't make a move someone would steal her right out from under me, so I did; make a move that is. About ten minutes after we were introduced I asked her out and damn if she didn't say yes.
We pretty much hit it off from the very start. We liked the same movies, songs, artists...everything; and we enjoyed doing things together, especially photography. That's what I do for a living.
Cora was very pretty, had an excellent figure and was extremely photogenic. She loved to model, but she also had a good eye and knew what went into creating a good photo. After some technical instruction using my equipment, she became a pretty good photographer in her own right; I loved the interplay that created between us. There was only one area where we didn't mesh...astrology.
I think it was our third...maybe fourth date when she mentioned it and I pretty much told her what I thought of all that drivel; so, except for telling me when Mercury went retrograde a few times, she never really talked to me about it that much.
Now, that's not to say she gave it up, she had a whole group of friends that shared her interest. Cora belonged to an astrology club that met every Thursday night; the lady who ran the club, Barbara, used to teach astrology out of her home.
She taught people, including my wife, what it meant when people were born at certain times of the year. That determined their zodiac sign, their rising sign, and what personality traits they would possess. Then there is the bit about stars lining up with certain planets and how all that mumbo-jumbo would affect your life; and of course we can't forget how to figure out some one's astrological chart and plot every aspect of their life from the cradle to the grave...well, you get the picture.
Barbara was a sweet, middle-aged lady and probably my wife's best friend. She didn't teach any longer but the club was made up of former students and was mainly just an excuse for them to get together and gab over a couple drinks every week.
They all enjoyed themselves and I had absolutely no problem with it; in fact, they were always invited to our parties and outdoor BBQs; they were a nice bunch of people and apart from their fascination with the ruling planets, I liked them too. Out of respect and never wanting to embarrass my wife, when astrology came up in conversation I'd just smile and nod my head a lot.
Seeing the level of my wife's annoyance over something so trivial as being mistaken about my birthplace made me realize, that after all our years together, I had underestimated just how seriously my wife actually took all that crap.
"Honey, if it was so important why didn't you ask where I was born before doing the chart?"
"I just assumed; I mean both your mom and dad were born here in Chicago, and I know they were living here at the time you were born, so I just naturally assumed you were born here too."
"Well don't get pissed off at me, if you had asked I would have told you. Hell, honey, I didn't even know you did my chart before we got married."
"Of course I did your chart; I wouldn't have married you if I hadn't," she said curtly.
Cora immediately pulled some of her astrology books from the bookcase and sat down at the dining room table with a new, blank zodiac chart in front of her and proceeded to map out our future according to the stars...again.
I could see she was in no mood to cook dinner so I looked in the fridge but didn't see anything I particularly wanted to cook either. "How about if I just order a pizza for tonight?" After speaking I realized I'd let my frustration with all this BS show in my voice but she didn't even notice.
"Ah, yeah, fine," she muttered without looking up.
I patiently waited over two hours for my lovely wife to rejoin the living; during that time she didn't speak and barely ate.
Finally she lifted her head with a sigh and a scowl on her face.
"So, what's the verdict; are we going to grow old together or are we headed to divorce court?" I said sarcastically.
She gave me a dirty look and said very briskly, "I don't know; I'm just very disappointed."
I was astonished with her comment. "What! Disappointed in what?"
"Let's just leave it, okay? I don't want to talk about it."
That was fine with me; at least for the time being. I was aggravated and it was probably not the time to hash things out, I'm sure I would have said things I wouldn't have been able to take back so I dropped it.
For the rest of the evening she was pretty quiet and so was I, but I had a plan; it involved making love when we went to bed, thinking I would show her my love and everything would be back to normal by morning.
I know, typical male reaction, but what the hell, they say actions speak louder than words and I was prepared to show her I was the same loving husband I'd always been.
Unless it was that time of the month, we both always slept naked so when she came out of the bathroom wearing a three quarter length nightgown I started silently counting the weeks; she was nowhere near her period!
"What's with the nightgown?"
"I just felt like wearing it tonight," she flatly replied.
"Really...just felt like it? We've been married for four years, and other than the baby dolls you wore on our honeymoon, this is the first time you've worn something to bed when you weren't having your period. What's going on Cora; is this still about that stupid astrology chart?"
"I don't want to talk about, Steve; just drop it," she said crawling under the sheet and turning her back on me.
"No, I won't drop it. That's what you said earlier and I said okay because I thought you were just in a bad mood, but if this is going to affect our love life then we're damn straight going to talk about it. Now what's going on?"
She lay silently ignoring me.
"Damn it, Cora, you're really starting to piss me off; if you think you're going to lie there and ignore me you're wrong. I can guarantee you won't get a wink of sleep until you answer me."
She quickly turned on her back with a big deliberate sigh meant to show me just how irritated she was. She still didn't look at me; she just stared at the ceiling. "You're just not the person I thought you were...okay? Now, can we just drop it, please."
"No, we can't drop it; what do you mean, not the same person, in what way?" I was not about to let it drop and have a statement like that hang over me.
She took a while to answer again but I think she realized this was not going away until we cleared the air. "Okay fine," she finally spouted, "The chart shows you just don't have the integrity I thought you did; I thought you were honest to a fault but I know now that's not the case."
"You have GOT to be kidding me; for crying out loud, Cora, you've known me for five years; in that time have I ever lied to you? Have I ever done anything that would warrant a statement like that? Think about it; this is extremely important, Cora, this is about you and me. Use your own intellect instead of relying on the stars; I'm the same person I've always been, I don't give a fuck what that stupid piece of paper says. I'm your husband; I love you and I hope you still love me." I was waiting for a confirmation but it didn't come. "Don't tell me you've lost your love for me based on that chart."
"No, of course not; I just need some time, that's all. Can't you do that, please; can't you give me a little time?"
"Fine, how much time?"
"I don't know; I just have some thinking to do."