IT WAS JUST A JOKE
JEFF
"He found himself walking down a country road trying not to remember and trying not to think. He didn't care where he was going as long as it was away, far away from his wife he had loved more than anyone else and his best friend since they were kids. "I guess I need to make that my ex-wife and my ex-best friend."
He didn't clean out the bank accounts or cancel the credit cards. Money was not causing him to hurt. He was hurting from a loss of love, respect, trust and faithfulness. Jeff lamented that there is no ATM for those things. Eventually, he figured on stopping some place and get a job. He would need money for food, water and shelter. Jeff concluded he was not ready to die yet, but he thought he might be before too long. Yes, it was that bad.
When work had ended that day, he had come home as usual right after stopping at an ATM. Ned's car was in the driveway. That wasn't unusual. They were almost brothers and he was practically part of the family. Jeff didn't realize he might have wanted to be even more part of the family than he was. Ned was sitting on the couch with Jeff's wife, Althea. They were smiling, not a 'happy to see you' smile. More like a 'swallow the canary' smile. Jeff asked, "So, guys, what's up?"
Althea spoke and delivered an obviously rehearsed speech. "Jeff, we have some news that may surprise you. As the years have gone by, Ned and I have become closer and closer as friends. Recently, Ned and I have become lovers. We didn't plan on it happening, but it happened. We debated what we should do so you won't feel so hurt. We both love you and I don't want to get a divorce. What we propose is that Ned move in with us. He practically lives her anyway. As far as sleeping arrangement, we can alternate who sleeps with me. We just . . . Jeff, where are you going?"
"I need to splash some water on my face." He headed down the hallway to the bathroom. Once he got there, Jeff went over to the bathroom window, raised it and squirmed out. He ignored his destruction of the flowers planted below the window. Jeff chose to walk north towards the wooded park.
NED AND ALTHEA
As soon as Jeff went into the bathroom, Ned and Althea started laughing. Ned said, "Did you see that look on his face? He totally believed it. You sure are a good liar."
"With three siblings growing up, I had lots of practice."
"Well, he does need to learn to loosen up a bit. He's so straight, they could use him as a level. I can't think of many times I have ever seen him laugh."
Althea responded, "I sure hope he doesn't get too upset at our prank. I bet he's already figured it out. He knows I love him and would never betray him."
"Hey, he knows I wouldn't steal his wife. . . . I would like to borrow you some time though."
She punched him in the shoulder. "He's taking a while in the bathroom. Why don't you go check on him?"
Ned went down the hallway trying not to laugh. He knocked on the door and then tried opening it. It was locked. "Jeff, buddy, you okay? Come on back and finish our talk." Silence. Althea joined him.
"He's locked the door and isn't saying anything."
"Ned, you don't think he might have done something stupid, do you?"
"Not, Jeff. I think he's just letting us suffer."
"I don't have a good feeling about this. Jeff! Please come out. It was just a joke. You know we wouldn't betray you. Come on. It's a joke." Silence.
Ned threatened, "If you don't come out, I'll break the door down and damn if I'll pay one cent to fix it." After no response, Ned cried out, "One -- two - three." Ned paused and then kicked the door. It didn't give. It took him three kicks to get the door open. Althea rushed inside. No Jeff. She ran to the open window and looked outside and saw the trampled flowers.
"He's run away. We need to go find him."
"Althea, calm down. He's probably just having a snit fit. I'm sure he'll be back soon."
"I don't want to take the chance. Let's go look for him."
"No, you stay here in case he comes back. I'll take my car and drive around the neighborhood. He couldn't have gotten very far."
JEFF
He walked to the wooded area that formed one side of the subdivision. There was a park on the other side. Jeff came across a couple of bikers who were taking a sex break in a secluded area. Given the betrayal the woman with whom he had wed, the sight of other people having sex irritated Jeff greatly. He saw their bikes on the trail out of sight of the lovers. He took the man's bike. After the bottom had dropped out of his world, stealing a bike meant nothing to him. He took off riding.
Being a man in a suit and tie riding a bike, he realized he was too conspicuous. Jeff rode until he got to a Dollar General store at the northern edge of town. He went in and bought a college logo sweatshirt and pants. When he came out of the store, he saw the Coca Cola delivery man getting ready to pull out of the lot. "Hey, can I hitch a ride?"
"It's against company rules. Sorry."
Jeff held out $50. "How about now?"
"It may be against company rules, but it's not against mine." He took Jeff's money and they left.
The driver continued, "I'm headed to Madisonville. That a problem?"
"Nope."
"Don't guess you want to talk?"
"Nope."
"You look like I did when I caught that cheating bitch of a wife of mine in bed with our damned preacher."
"Yep."
They rode the rest of the way to Madisonville in silence. His second stop was at a truck stop next to the interstate. Jeff thanked him and went over to the truck park. He waited for a trucker getting ready to leave. There was a large man getting into a Peterbilt. "Excuse me, could you give me a ride?"
"Where are you going? I'm headed to St. Louis."
"Doesn't matter. St. Louis is fine."
"The law or the wife?"
"Wife."
"Been there, done that. Hop in. It's cost you a meal at the next stop though."
"No problem."
The trucker was an easy man to talk to and persuaded Jeff to unburden his story on him. He asked Jeff what he was going to do.
"Disappear. They don't care for me. I don't care for them."
*****
NED AND ALTHEA
"Sorry, babe, no sign of him. Did he call you?"
"No. His phone goes to voice mail. I have left messages telling him it was a joke and I apologized."
"That's all we can do."
"What about a Missing Person's report?"
"Too soon. We have to wait a couple of days. I bet he's back by bedtime. Maybe he went to a bar to get drunk."
"Are you kidding? Jeff, get drunk? I've never seen him drink more than one beer at a party. He only had one glass of champagne at our wedding."
"Do you want me to stay with you tonight? At least until he comes back."
"No, Ned. Go home. If he's angry, I think seeing both of us might make him madder. Damn, I wish I had never listened to you."
"Hey, you were the one to say you wanted to do something to loosen him up. You're as much to blame as I am."
Althea got little sleep that night. When she woke, she searched the guest bedroom and living room couch for Jeff. No luck. She began to really worry. At least his car was still here. Surely, he wouldn't go far without his car. Ned called before lunch to ask if Jeff had returned.
"Ned, what are we going to do? What if he doesn't come back?"
"Take it easy. It hasn't even been 24 hours. Why don't you check your bank accounts online? That will tell you if he's serious about running away. He'd take a bunch of money if he was."
"Good idea." Althea checked. No unusual withdrawals. There was a recent ATM transaction, but that was before Jeff came home. It was not enough to leave for any length of time. She told Ned.
"I have an idea. Put a freeze on your ATM card and your credit cards. That way Jeff will be forced to contact you when he runs out of money. It's easy to freeze and unfreeze the accounts."
"I'm glad one of us is thinking straight. I'll do that right now."
*****
JEFF
"St. Louis, we are here."
"I appreciate the ride and counseling. I think my feelings are too raw at this time to contact them. I got angry just telling you what they did."
"Good luck, Jeff. By the way, you should think of changing your name if you want to disappear."
"Thanks."
Jeff started walking. He was hoping to get ideas on how to get more money and a place to sleep. After about a mile, he came to a nursery. They were doing a brisk business. People were lined up to purchase the flowers, shrubs, trees, top soil, potting soil, pots and garden implements. The person at the cash register looked frazzled. He was shouting at the Mexican looking men who were helping him. They didn't seem to understand him. Jeff intervened and translated for him. The man thanked Jeff and asked if he wanted a job. Jeff said he did if he could get paid in cash, off the books. That was no problem for the owner. Jeff started immediately.
Jeff's high school and college Spanish had been handy on the job he used to have. He became the person to contact the vendors in Latin American countries. Jeff guessed he was doing okay as the workers at the nursery didn't make fun of his accent. The workers were also helpful in finding him a temporary place to live. They were renting a house with two bedrooms where eight workers lived. Jeff fit right in.
The experience he had with Althea's garden paid off. Soon he became sort of a foreman and planned the workday for all the men except the owner and his family who helped out. The owner's family consisted of his wife who was the salesperson. She was good. Most women that came in there were talked into buying a lot more than they had originally intended. His son did his best to hide from work unless a pretty girl or woman was shopping. Their daughter joined the rest of the family a month later after the spring semester of college was over. She had frizzy, blonde hair and a very fit, slim body. Deep blue eyes were the highlight of a pretty face. She was a breath of fresh air. Evidently, she earned her college money by helping out with the family business. She was motivated, therefore, to help the business succeed. She did her best to keep her brother working in between his hitting on girls.
