It Started with Not Feeling Good

A day before their weekly counseling session with John, Carol received an unexpected visit from her daughter Ann. The look on Ann's face showed that it was not a social call to talk about her granddaughter. "Your father has been in an accident. He is fine, someone plowed into his truck in Arizona while he was waiting in line at an exit. He will be spending several days in the hospital there before they release him. Check your phone, the hospital has been trying to get a hold of you."

Her phone had died because she forgot to recharge it, a rarity for her. Carol was now worried. Ann immediately called the hospital and was transferred to the nursing station. John was in radiology, getting some x-rays, then he was going down the hall for a cat scan. He was stable, sore, some facial lacerations. He was awake and lucid, although he had lost consciousness briefly. He wouldn't be back for 2 hours at least.

Ann got the medical update then hung up. Daughter and mother sat down and talked about it. "All these years, I was always afraid of this. Your father is a careful man, there that doesn't mean everyone else is." Then looking at her daughter, "I want to go there. Can you help me? He is precious to me. Can you help?"

Ann looked at her closely. Logic stated that this was a wasted effort, or at least a premature one. They should wait for the results of the tests. She had spoken with the nurse and the doctors. He was sore and needed to be under observation, but not in danger. It was not about logic.

The past several months have been life changing for her mother. Ann knew her mother inside and out, until lately. The craziness of Carol's upbringing had always hindered her relations with others. Now? She was working through her issues. She never did that before. From her brothers and her own interactions with her mother, this lady was reaching out, making amends, changing her dynamics. It was the same body, but not the same old draining needy person that she was.

She also knew her father. For all the time Ann knew him, she realized that he had an underlying bit of depression. The unfaithfulness of his wife gave him a chance to start over again, but he didn't do it. She and her brothers realized that in spite of all the bull shit of their parent's lives, these two people loved each other. They were not always good for one another, but they loved each other. That was a choice they both made, even if they never told each other in the past several years.

These past few months lightened her father's spirit. The personal, martial group and marital counseling have done wonders for them both. But Ann knew that they were now stuck. They had been stuck several times, and with luck and hard work, was able to move on. Not this time, the infidelity was stopping her father, her past destructive behavior stopped her mother. Both roadblocks to their future.

When someone has a near death experience, things that were important suddenly become less so. Many people suddenly realize that life is finite. Would this be the nudge to get them working together again? That was when Ann smiled, and the look of fear on her mother's face was replaced with hope.

In 30 minutes, tickets were purchased for a 9 PM flight that evening to Phoenix and a hotel reservation near the hospital. The hotel had bus service from the airport as well as to and from the hospital. A call to her youngest son, and the ride to the air airport was taken care of.

John woke up with a splitting headache. The combination of being bounced around the cab, the medical tests, and withdrawal from caffeine did it. Just before his eyes started to clear, he heard a familiar voice. "John?" He thought it was the drugs, until someone held his hand. Carol? What was Carol doing here?

"John, I'm here with you." and tears were forming in her eyes. During the middle of the accident when his rig was being pushed into the trailer in front of him, he thought he it was over. Those seconds lasted for a good 5 minutes while he saw his Peterbuilt slowly crumple into that trailer. The heavy machinery in that trailer stopped his cab from continuing to grind into to it. It stopped the trailer walls from shearing into his own cab. He shook from the terror of it.

Lying in the wreckage, he could not get out, but he thought he was OK. Fire then became his biggest fear. You can't be a trucker for so many years without seeing some gristly accidents. Now he was living it. Only 4 trucks were involved and the fire trucks were on site in 5 minutes. It took an hour to cut him free. He would never be the same.

"John, are you alright John? Please say something to me." All he could immediately do was to tighten the grip on her hand. She was there, she was real. He was trying to say something, but he realized that there were bandages across his face. That was when he remembered the shards of glass and steel that flew around his cab. He remembered hearing that the wounds were minor, but bled like heck. He squeezed her hand again. That's when he heard, "You're OK John, You're OK." and he fell back to sleep.

Carol would never willingly leave his side for days. Only when forced to go back to the hotel for sleep and a shower by the nursing staff, was she not there.

He was not seriously injured, but he was banged around. He had lost consciousness, and that was serious. Ann was monitoring the situation daily, and was satisfied with the care he was receiving. She was able to ask her mother about specifics. Only once she called the charge nurse asking for some assistance on an issue.

After a couple of days, it was looking more and more that he was OK. The immediate tension and concern from the accident died down. John and Carol were able to begin to process what happened with one another.

John heard about her immediate decision to go see him, even with Ann's assurances. He was grateful she was there. Carol heard about his near death experience and shuddered at almost losing him again. They each heard the fear in their partner's words. Life could be over in a flash of an eye. They both were staring at that eye from over their shoulders.

Ann thought that this might get them moving again back to work through their road blocks. There is nothing like a near miss to see what you might lose. They both realized that they were supporting one another, and loved without reserve by the other. They had worked hard to rebuild their marriage, to make it better than it ever had been before. The fact that she was unfaithful never went away completely, but their new relationship over powered what was before.

At the hospital, they did not decide to move back in together, but they did plan to host Thanksgiving. That would be part of their test with each other.