Is It Just Business

Is It Just Business? A Sequel: Was it worth the anguish?

"Sorry boys, I need to tell you something that will sadden you." He swallowed hard, then continued, "I'm the only one that will be moving with my new job. You are staying here with your Mum. I will not be living with you anymore," I felt the tears run down my cheeks, "I just cannot stay, I have fallen in love with someone else, I no longer love your mother, I'm so sorry."

It hit me immediately, our life would change, despite my tears I realised nothing would be the same in our lives. My little brother cried out, "No, no, you can't, tell him Mummy, he can't leave," as he rushed to her and jumped into her lap. She wrapped him protectively in her arms as her own tears began to flow freely and dripped onto his hair. He now sobbed loudly. "Why, why are you leaving, don't you love us anymore?" He was his Daddy's son, a chip of the old block.

"It's not you, I will always love you two boys," I could see he was upset, but as a man he wouldn't show his emotions, just looked between us as the situation dawned on us, as we reacted, each in our own way.

Mum's eyes were locked onto mine, was she searching for something from me, I was too young to know what to do for her, but old enough to know I needed to do, or say, something, but what? My tears dripped from my chin, I looked from Mum to the man who was, until a few moments ago, my Dad. I needed to step up, protect my Mum, she needed me....he didn't, how could he not love her, she was our mother. She'd always surrounded us with her love, demonstrated it to him, and to us, every minute of every day.

I could see how hurt she was, she loved him so much, that was obvious. How could he just discard her like this, cast her aside, for what? Who was this other person that he now says he loves? Did I care, not really, that would be answered another day. He could not hold my gaze as I locked my eyes on his, he looked down, unable to meet my determined stare as I rose from the sofa to stand beside my Mum and brother, they were my family now.

"You had better go." My voice sounded odd, flat, determined. He opened his mouth to speak, no doubt some platitude, something to ease his conscience. I cut him off, "Go now! Leave us alone, we don't need you."

I didn't mean it of course, I was angry, hurt, afraid, and upset that the man I had admired all my life could do this to us, to my Mum in particular. The woman he had married 'for better or worse', the person that as far as I was concerned had loved the very ground he walked on. I felt her sob as I placed my arm around her shoulder.

"Don't worry Mum, I'll look after you." She took my hand in hers as she cried, as we three cried together. We didn't see him leave, just heard the door close and he was gone. As it turned out that was the last I would see of him for twenty-five years.

I was twelve years old, the age when a boy needs his father to lead his transition into a man. Now I'd have to do it alone. Strange how the mind works, the look Mum had given me said so much to me, she needed me to step up, I had to do it to help her.

Mum was brilliant, she had to work full-time to support us, to be both Mum and a Dad to us. I tried; I really did but what could I do? Well, the one thing I did do was make a promise to myself that I would never do what he had done.

As I got older my resolve hardened. Mum told me that sex was the root cause of our struggles, our hurt, our new life. She'd found out about his latest affair, wouldn't accept it, or his promise to remain faithful in future if she let him stay, she'd made him leave with terrible consequences for us. He never came to see us, cut us out of his life completely.

Once I understood sexual activity I could not understand how such a natural act could be so destructive. A few moments in time that a man and a woman share intimately could cause such devastation. I promised myself that it would not define me. It will never wreak that sort of havoc in my life, not again, I would remain faithful and not break up my family over sex, never!

Despite what happened to my family, I never doubted that I would find love, someone like my Mum. A woman with a strong character, a determined, independent person that would love me and care for me and our children. I would not be like my Mum though, I would be realistic, my wife would be my equal partner, with me because she wanted to be. I would make no demands on her, whoever she was. She'd stay irrespective of any temptation or diversion, she'd stay because she wanted to, because she loved me and any children we might have.

It was during my final year at university that I met and fell in love with Linda. She was perfect for me; bright, stunningly attractive, fun to be with and, as I was to soon find out, extremely good in bed. Both of us had experienced other lovers before we met but agreed we'd felt nothing like we shared, we just seemed to fit together. She was intelligent, independent, and certainly knew her own mind, my ideal woman.

~*~*~*~*~

I was reading the newspaper after lunch when she appeared dressed and made-up just as she'd looked when setting off to work the week before. Innocently I asked, "I thought you had retired?"

"Oh, sorry, didn't I say, my special skills are still needed so my services have been retained for one afternoon a week, oh, and I might be required to travel occasionally," She'd smiled sweetly and stepped past me, "I have to go, don't worry, I'll soon be back, 'it's just business'."

She didn't wait for me to speak again before moving towards the door and was gone.

What? That was surprise, had I heard what my wife just said correctly? I was sure she had retired, sold the business that she part owned 'to begin a new chapter in our lives'. That's what she'd said it would be once she'd completed the sale. Sure enough, she'd been home all week, spoiling us all with all the little things we'd missed out all the years she'd worked. Now this, I was confused.

~*~*~*~*~

Linda had joined the company for a year's work experience as part of her business management course, then joined full time upon completion of her degree. She was well thought of by the managing partners, a brother, Grant and his sister, Natalie that they paid her a retainer for her last year of study..

We'd married soon after graduation and eighteen months later our first child was conceived, Linda had it covered though and continued to work from an office her company installed in our home. What impressed me the most was her ability to compartmentalise her life. She took everything in her stride, balancing work, childbirth, running the home, as well as keeping me happy and satisfied.

The job rewarded her well, even when working from home, so we'd hired an au-pair to help with baby Aaron. Ella lived in a self-contained flat above our garage. She stayed on assisting Linda when she became the proud mother of our healthy little girl. Linda wanted to return to the office after the birth of Sophie, so we had agreed that two children were enough for us, and to avoid interrupting her career further, we agreed that I'd have a vasectomy.

Once back in the office Linda's career certainly took off, in six months she was promoted to a management position. We saw no change at home though, everything was what you would call normal, it was a standard 9 to 5 job. I admired her in that she was able to leave work in the office. She obviously loved her work, and got on well with the other staff, but at home she was 100% ours.

We would discuss our respective days as everyone does, we'd talk about our colleagues and their lives, share anything unusual or exciting. If they'd converted a big contract it was normal for Linda to attend a celebratory meal and go dancing with 'the team'. I'd never been invited it was 'staff only', but it was the same for all of them, so I didn't mind. Linda was always home at the time she'd said and never had a hair out of place.

For my part I was progressing well at work, so keeping Ella on as au pair was a no brainer, she was invaluable in taking up the slack during the daytime. We'd take over as soon as one of us got home each weekday evening, and then full-time every weekend. Once Linda and I were home Ella was able to have her own life and we rarely saw her once she handed over the reigns to us.

Life was good, we were a happy and contented family unit, we had the usual trials and difficulties of course, just like everyone else with a young family, but we were a tight unit, we respected each other and had fun, lots of it.

The children wanted for nothing, and I don't mean material things, we kept their feet on the ground in that regard, Linda gave them her time and energy whilst they were awake. I was the beneficiary once they were asleep, our love life was still energetic and plentiful.

~*~*~*~*~

Then a year after Sophie was born late one Friday afternoon she phoned me to say she had been asked to stay late as Natalie and Grant had an important issue to discuss with her, it was a special management meeting, and she would be at least a couple of hours later than usual getting home.

It was no problem for me, Ella had prepared a hot meal for the four of us, so rather than waste it I invited her to join me and the children, I'd make a salad for Linda later. When Linda arrived home she had an aura about her that was new, I could just feel it.

Our eyes met and I saw something, a brief moment of hesitation before she covered it by giving me my usual welcoming kiss 'hello'. As she pulled away it was gone, replaced with excitement as she rushed, "They have offered me a partnership, I'll have shares, and everything." Then she paused, looked at me with a smile, "but I have to discuss it with you first. I'm famished though did you...."

"I have a salad prepared, you freshen up and then you can tell me everything as you eat."

Once she'd returned and was seated she laid out what her new role would be, she'd have more responsibility, some travelling that would involve occasional overnight stays, a lot more money and status, it was her dream job. Her new role was everything she had worked for and was in preparation for Grant to step down, she was to take over his role and would be a joint owner.

I could feel how excited she was, everything was coming together for her, of course I was supportive, keen that she followed her dream, it was even suggested that I reduce my work commitments to become more involved with our children. Ella had almost finished her studies and would soon need to leave, so as they got older, I would be the primary carer of them while Linda committed to work. I agreed to sort out child-care and, later, their after-school clubs, etc..

Thinking back now I knew there was something, a detail she omitted to tell me, I'd seen a brief moment of indecision, but she'd covered it, but I knew, I could feel it. Trusting that if it were important she would tell me eventually I put it out of my mind.

She was like a tigress in bed that night, treating me to a sweat filled and breathless evening of lovemaking that I fully participated in. As we lay in the afterglow I got a sense of disquiet, she was thinking about something, a decision that was proving hard for her. When I looked at her face she gave a quick blink, then her smile lit up her face immediately easing my fears.

It was like that all weekend, when she thought she was alone I'd see a distracted look. As we were eating breakfast on the Monday morning I caught a slightly troubled vibe from her. Again, a blink of her eyes when she noticed me looking at her, then a smile to me and she relaxed. It was OK, I knew that she'd resolve whatever it was in her mind, make her decision and then act on it. I just needed to be patient; she'd let me know when she was ready...........except she didn't.

~*~*~*~*~

I'd booked two weeks off from work to help ease Linda into full-time domesticity now she would be home all day, we were to get some of the things done around the house that had been put off until we had more time together. So not mentioning being retained by the new company was odd. So out of character for her, I began to analyse our conversations, I was convinced nothing had been said to me about it. I had a feeling of disquiet, dread even, for the first time in our lives I was suspicious.

I'm not sure why that was at the forefront of my mind, she'd given me none of the usual signs. No late nights at the office, no furtive phone calls, I'd not seen a secret stash of sexy lingerie, I'd never seen her texting anyone other than family and friends. She was always in her hotel room if I had need to telephone when she was staying away. So why had my mind jumped to the conclusion that she was being unfaithful.

While I rarely saw Grant we often socialised with Natalie and her husband, Ralph, I was sure she would have let me know if anything was off, or even let something slip. Subconsciously my brain must have picked something up though, a small clue, or clues that have added up, I hope I was wrong. Oh! I don't know, I'd find out more when she got home, we certainly needed to talk.

She hid it well, but I knew as soon as she got home, now I was looking for it I saw the aura that I remembered from all those years ago. This required further thought, I needed to investigate, what was she doing? I was looking for something, maybe I was wrong, I'd not noticed anything before, well perhaps the evening so long ago when she was promoted. But now, like then, my senses were amplified by something out of place, I hoped I was wrong.

"That was a surprise," I tried to keep my voice steady, relaxed, not accusatory, "you hadn't said anything about having to go into work, I got quite the opposite impression when you announced your 'retirement'."

"Oh sorry, I'm sure I'd mentioned it," she held my eyes, I could detect no deception, "I have to sit in on the new owner's management meeting every Friday for a while to share my expertise. Then perhaps visit some of my old customers once in a while, just to keep them sweet, you know the kind of thing."

Before I could say more she set off for the kitchen, "Come on, I'll help get the meal on the table, I'm famished."

That was it, issue closed as far as Linda was concerned, we ate, we made plans for the weekend with the children, and we made love, quite passionate love actually, the tigress was back in the bed that night. The weekend was like all those all the others we shared, we did family things, we ate, we laughed, and of course Linda and I pleasured each other in the bedroom.

We'd decided our job for this week was to decorate and re-furnish our guest bedroom, so that's what we did, working together as we always had, everything was as it should be. I just had a few details to finish off on the Friday and needed to visit a store for the materials I needed.

"That's OK, I need to get ready anyway, remember it's my day to play consultant," was Linda's reply when I said where I was going. "I'll be back at my normal time, so if you're not back before I leave I'll see you for dinner."

Feeling my heart rate quicken, a feeling of disquiet overcame me on hearing those words, I was expecting them of course but to actually hear them set off my negative thoughts again. I pushed them to the back of my mind, traffic was light, and I quickly found the parts I needed so was soon on my way home, perhaps I'd be back before Linda left.

Although I'd made good time I realised I hadn't made it when I saw her car pull out of the junction ahead, she was earlier than last week. It hit me immediately that something was wrong. We were close to her old offices but to get there she should be heading in my direction, and she wasn't!

With only a moment to decide I ignored the turn I'd planned to make and followed, it wasn't difficult because within only a short distance she pulled into the carpark of an exclusive block of flats, high end apartments would be a better description. There was no hesitation as she pulled into what must have been a familiar parking space, I watched as she immediately hopped out of her car then walked directly into the entrance.

She'd given me no chance to intercept her, no opportunity to find out why was she not at the office. I'd pulled into the side of the road so decided to ring her mobile. "Hi Jon, is everything OK?" Her voice was normal, as I'd have expected before.... well, perhaps just a tinge of concern as to why I was calling but nothing unusual.

"It took me longer than I expected to get the parts I wanted but I'm on my way now, I'll see you in a few minutes to give you your 'goodbye' kiss before you leave."

There was only a momentary hesitation, "Oh! That's sweet, but sorry, I was ready quicker than I thought so I'm at the office already, just about to enter my meeting."

I heard the sound of a door open, and a muffled, "Hi darling, you're early...." it was a brief greeting, but it was enough, I knew the voice. Linda then overrode the man's words, "I'm on the, mmm...."

There was a short pause, then, "Sorry, I've got to go," with that the call was ended.

I tried to call back, but it went straight to the answering service. Somehow I knew, in that moment, to me it sounded like someone had kissed her. A feeling of utter disappointment washed over me, strange, I thought I'd be angry, maybe that would come later. Now I just felt lost, devastated, sad. Did I want to confront them? Not really. Maybe there was an innocent explanation, not likely I knew that, particularly given the greeting I'd heard but I knew if I saw them together I could not unsee it.

Once home I'd soon finished fitting the parts I had shopped for and had an hour to do what I needed done. Linda had some explaining to do, but the more I thought about it I was fairly sure what the outcome would be, so I needed to be prepared. I had a plan and I fully intended to see it through.

The childhood pledge to myself had come to mind; I promised there was no way I would break up my family over sex. It looks like I'd need to compromise; only time would tell if I'd succeed.

~*~*~*~*~

The children were in their rooms when Linda arrived, Friday night homework needed to be done. As she came to me for the usual welcome home greeting I stopped her short by asking, "Where were you today?" I tried to keep as level a voice as I could muster.

"At the office like I told you when you phoned, why?"

"Have the new owners moved their headquarters into Grosvenor Apartments?"

Linda's face paled dramatically, "W.... w.... what do you mean?"

"Well, I phoned you shortly after I watched you go into that building," I studied her carefully, "and unless I'm mistaken Grant greeted you with 'Hi darling you're early' mimicking him, followed by a kiss, care to explain?"

My wife seemed to shrink as she backed onto the sofa opposite where I was sitting, her eyes cast down to her hands that she was wringing in her lap. "I'd rather not.... explain I mean. It was a mistake. I thought.... I'll not see him again, I promise." She then looked me in the eye, "I know what it looks like, but it is you I love, you I want, not him."

Tears were silently sliding down her cheeks as I kept silent, my eyes locked on hers. Memories of the night my Dad made his announcement were bouncing around in my mind, the same feelings of utter confusion, anger, disappointment all intermingled as I tried to understand. Once again I knew it was me that needed to say something, but what?

We sat there staring at each other for what seemed like an age, the sadness I felt was close to overwhelming me, but I had no tears. Did I want to know? Could I live up to the pledge I'd made to myself all those years ago? Part of me needed to know the depth of her betrayal, the other part was afraid of what I would learn, but what scared me the most was could I deal with it?