I think most people out there have a certain perception of themselves: whether it is one of confidence, shyness or whatever. Events of the past few weeks have now shattered whatever image I had of myself. My name is Sean and I am 35, married, and the father of a teenage son. And until recently, confident in the knowledge that I harbored no sexual insecurities or "deviant" desires.
I guess the story really goes back to when I went through puberty. I guess you can say I was a late bloomer. I noticed the other guys in the locker room developing, growing pubic hair, etc., while I seemed to stay the same. My older brothers told me that this was the "Irish Curse." I had heard my uncle say something like that when asked about why he wasn't married, my mom just said that he was a drunk.
This stuff may have been a weight on my mind, but I had something that most of those guys my age didn't have: a girlfriend. Fiona (the girl next door, the little red-haired girl to my Charlie Brown) is now my wife and we've been together since the eighth grade. Even though we had been together forever, we never had sex until prom night in our senior year. We were both naïve Catholic school kids that grew up in very similar conservative households and she only agreed to have sex with me after I told her I would marry her, which everyone who knew us thought was a foregone conclusion. We were married shortly after high school.
People say we really blossomed by the time we were married. Fiona sure did. All I know is that any teenage insecurities I may have had were eliminated by my relationship with her, I was a confident in all aspects of life. This however was not the case for our son Patrick. He is 14 and every bit the awkward teenager. He like me is a late bloomer. This distressed him to a great degree. It was his situation that set off the chain of events that have so affected me and my confidence and my sexuality.
Patrick had been over at our new neighbors but came home the other day looking really upset. My wife was really concerned with it as she dotes on him, I think, excessively. He seemed to be fine later, but Fiona was still worried about him. While he was out, she snuck in his room and looked around on the computer. I told her she should stay out of his personal stuff but she didn't listen. What she found shocked both of us. He had started a personal journal and updated it with his daily activities and thoughts. My wife looked at the day when Patrick had been so upset, on it was a description of an event that was obviously very embarrassing. His new friends from next door, Keyshawn and Tyrell, had busted in on him in the bathroom. Evidently they saw him with his pants down and proceeded to make fun of him. They called him names like "baby pee-pee" and such. "Irish curse," I whispered getting a dirty look from my wife. But what we read next was even more of a shocker: he had a link to web page. This page was all about penis size. He had written in his journal some measurements and compared them to the charts on the web. "5 ½ inches erect –close to average for a full grown man" he had written, "Not bad."
"I'm going to have a talk with their mother!" my wife exclaimed. I told her not to embarrass Patrick and I would make sure he couldn't get to sites like this on the Internet anymore. "I'm going to talk to Sherry any way," she told me. Sherry was the single mother of Keyshawn and Tyrell and they were the only black family in our neighborhood. Just don't embarrass me or Patrick, I told her.
Fiona invited Sherry over the next day. I didn't want to be around for their conversation so I went to the next room. I did, however, overhear Fiona talking about Patrick being a late bloomer and Sherry talking about her boys taking after their father. I heard them both laughing about some stuff after that but I was just glad I wasn't in there. I didn't bother myself with any of it until that night when we went to bed and Fiona asked me a rather startling question considering our rather conservative attitudes toward sex: "Sean, how big is your penis?"
"What? Why do ask?"
"Well Patrick's is around 5 1/2 inches and that's almost average, I just wanted to know where you were at. You know, if you've still got the "Irish Curse'" she laughed
"I don't know how official that chart is, but I guess I am around six inches or better. Certainly average or better. I mean I never really measured...I mean it seems to be enough for you, right?"
"Oh yeah, Oh yeah," she said and let the subject drop. We had some good sex that night, but it was weird because a little seed of insecurity had been planted in my head and I didn't know what to think.
It was about a month later and Patrick had come to be good friends with the new neighbors as they were about the same age (17 and 14) and had similar interests. Patrick asked me to take him down to the local Y where Keyshawn and Tyrell were playing basketball. I told him sure and grabbed my swimming trunks since I had no interest in playing basketball and figured I might as well get a little exercise.
After swimming a few laps I went into the showers to get the chlorine off of me. I usually don't use public showers but the water was cold and chlorine was bad. There wasn't anyone in there when I went in, but after I had started the shower a couple of guys walked by. They didn't pay me much attention except for a tall black guy. He made a comment about this being an adult shower room as he walked past toward the lockers. I instinctively looked down to see my shrunken penis hardly visible in my pubic hair. I probably turned a couple of shades of red. A couple of the other guys chuckled but it didn't go any further. I quickly rinsed off and got dressed. I went to get Patrick but he said he wanted to stay and told me Tyrell's dad would drop him off. I hadn't met their dad but figured it was OK.
The next Friday evening I got a knock on my door. At the door, stood the tall black man from the shower. He obviously didn't seem to recognize me and introduced himself as Ty, Keyshawn and Tyrell's father. Relieved that he didn't recognize me I shook his hand and welcomed him in. He told me he was house sitting for Sherry while she was on vacation and spending some time with the boys. He said he wanted to meet with Tyrell's friend Patrick's parents. Ty was older, I'd say around 50 and about 6'5". He'd played some semi-pro basketball and was a coach now. About that same time Fiona walked in having just arrived home from work. She's a school teacher and usually dresses in the usual frumpy manner, but she'd had some kind of meeting today and was wearing a business suit with a short skirt, nylons, and heels. It really displayed her usually hidden 38-26-36 5'6" figure. In fact, in her heels she was taller than my 5'9" in socks. She said hi to Ty and told me she had to change. I caught Ty checking out her ass as bent over to take off her heals. He told me he had to get going. I didn't like the way he looked at Fiona, but put it out of my mind.
The next evening Patrick had his friends over to play some new video game. It was fine but the noise sometimes irritated me. The phone rang and Fiona answered it. She told me it was Ty and said he asked it we would come over to watch a movie as the boys were all over at our place. I said that would be cool.
When we got there Ty showed off the new entertainment center he had installed for the boys and he fixed us some drinks and we sat down and watched the movie. Ty made some good drinks and we ended up watching a couple of movies. Fiona was getting pretty drunk as she doesn't usually drink much and we were having a good time watching a pretty funny movie. Before the end of the second movie I had fallen asleep, which isn't unusual after a few drinks. I had kind of half woke up when the credits were rolling to hear Fiona and Ty chatting. My wife asks a lot questions normally, but when she is drunk, which is rare, she'll ask anything. I heard her ask Ty, "So why's you and Sherry divorce?" I thought, oh no, and pretended to sleep.
