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Man, I loved Halloween. I loved it as a kid and a teenager, and now, even in my mid-twenties, it still has a place in my heart.
I was usually a pretty happy guy, always quick with a joke, and the elaborate pranks I'd pulled for Halloween were talked about for years. Most of them were planned like military campaigns, and some were happy accidents, like the night I fell through the ceiling of an old house dressed as an axe murderer, complete with a double-headed ax, right into the middle of a group of teenagers. I landed with a scream because it scared the shit out of me, but the sight of a man dressed in a long coat with a white face holding an ax dropping out of the sky among them made their screams a lot louder.
We were in an old abandoned house that had to be a hundred years old, so it wasn't in the greatest shape, hence the fall. My partner in crime almost got trampled as they ran down the stairs and out the door. He came up to see me sitting on the floor, laughing my ass off.
Then, I got married and drifted away from my old crowd. We were too young to be married and too dumb to realize it, and it cratered when I took my niece's trick or treating, and my wife took the opportunity to start the party a little early. Her costume for that night was as a Can-Can girl, complete with fishnet stockings. That and a feather boa was all she had on when I found her underneath one of my friends. I could have gotten over that, but I beat the shit out of the guy, and he made sure I knew he'd been 'bangin' the bitch' for two months.
We didn't have shit to divide, and we walked away as broke as we were when we got married. Bev tried to get back together for a few months but gave up when I refused all contact. She ended up marrying the asshole as soon as the divorce came through. I thought she used abysmal judgment; if he wasn't above having sex with her while she was married, what was going to stop him from having sex with some other married slut? It didn't last a year.
I was sitting at McDonalds with my nieces, treating them to happy meals and milkshakes, as they rambled on about the route they wanted to take Halloween night, still three weeks away. The plan was to get them at five and have them home by seven. We discussed it when I heard a voice I hadn't heard in a few years.
"Flash?"
Nobody had called me that in four years or more, and I looked up into the grinning face of Jake, one of my best friends and partner in crimes from my late teens until I was about twenty. He always liked to push the envelope, and one day, when he was nineteen, he went a little too far, got caught, convicted, and sentenced to eighteen months in prison across the state. I drove out to see him twice before he told me he was getting out next month, so not to bother. Five more months before they let him out, and he disappeared. I hadn't seen him since I last visited him in jail.
I stood up and hugged him. "Man, it's good to see you. How long have you been back?"
His cocky grin was still there. "About four months. I was going to look you up soon. It took a little while to get my feet back under me. These your kids?"
He knew they weren't but wanted to needle me a little because he knew I always wanted a big family. "They might as well be, the way they saw 'I want' so much."
That got a few angry looks from the girls, but I grinned at them, and they relaxed. Jake and I exchanged phone numbers, and he left with his friends.
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"Guess who I saw?"
"Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, an honest politician, a billionaire that pays taxes? You realize none of them are real, right?"
"Worse. Jake."
Camille's face darkened. She'd never liked him and made no pretense about it. "Really? The low life is out of jail?"
"He's been out, he just hasn't been around."
She shrugged. "Well, he's your friend. Just be careful around him. I remember how you used to egg each other on."
"Gee, Cam, I'm like all growed up and ever'thin'. I can find my way to work and back every day.
She grinned. "Yes, the wonders of GPS. Seriously, brother, be careful."
I kissed her and the girls. "I will. Promise."
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A few days later, he called me, wanting me to meet him at the bar where we used to hang out. It wasn't a dive, and it didn't get glowing reviews from the local paper either. However, the beer was cold, and the staff was friendly primarily after they got to know you. I hadn't been there in two years, but Gail grinned and poured my draft.
"Long time no see. How have you been?"
"I'm Divorced and pining away for you. That's why I haven't been around; it hurts too much to see you."
Gail was ten years or better older, but she was still a good-looking woman in the prime of her life. She and her husband owned the bar. She was trying to figure out if I was yanking her chain when her husband grinned. "He's lying, honey. You can always tell when he looks you in the eyes, acting all sincere; you know nothing coming out of his mouth is true. If he fidgets, he won't look you in the eye; he's telling the truth."
"You have been behind that bar too long, Benny. You should give it up and take up psychology. You'd be good at it."
Gail surprised me. "He's got three more semesters before he gets his degree in Sociology. His minor is psychology."
"Well then, Dr. Benny, pencil me in when you get your degree. I got some things I need to get off my chest. It is covered under doctor/client privilege, right?"
Benny laughed. "I don't think I could bear your secrets. It's good to see you in here again."
"I should have come back sooner, but the ex and her asshole like to hang here, and I don't need to be barred for life for kicking his ass every time I saw him."
Gail's face darkened. "No worries there, Chan. We barred them better than a year ago. Their behavior was getting out of hand."
Wow. This place was pretty liberal. It had to be bad if they did something that warranted throwing them out. "Good to know. I'm here to meet with an old friend. You remember Jake?"
A mask descended over Benny's face. "Damn, Flash, I thought you had better sense."
"You're just pissed because his fake ID fooled you enough to serve him beer. I had no idea he'd get into a fight, and the cops would have to come out."
"Damn, near lost my license over that. I hope jail straightened his ass out. When you start stupid, it can go either way." We talked for a few more minutes between customers until Jake showed up. I hustled him to a booth as fast as possible, ordering a pitcher to minimize contact between him and Gail.
He drank most of the pitcher and noticed it. "Drink up, Flash!"
"I'm fine. I got stupid when I and the wife split up and got pulled over, almost knee-walking drunk. The only thing that saved me from driving while impaired ticket was that the cop was my brother-in-law. He shoved me in his cruiser and drove me home, ranting the whole way. I promised him and my sister I'd never do it again."
"Pussy."
"Maybe, but I'm a pussy with a license."
I didn't know it, but that one stung. He still had three years before being eligible for a driver's license again. As we left that night, I thought about that as I watched him get behind the wheel of a beat-up old truck.
I mulled things over as I went home. Most of us have had a 'toxic' friend at one time or another, someone who could talk us into doing things we usually wouldn't. Sometimes, it was symbiotic; you seemed to feed off each other as things spiraled out of control. That was me and Jake.
By the time I reached twenty, I had tired of the whole adventure and was looking for stability. That led me to get married, and that was a screaming disaster. She would have been better suited to Jake than me. He called a week later, needing a favor. He needed a job, or he'd violate probation.
"I thought you had a job?"
"Didn't work out."
"By that, you mean you didn't go to work or mouthed off one too many times and got fired. If I helped you, how would it end up any different?"