I was in tears for the third time today while caring for my toddler and my two-month-old. Home alone on maternity leave was overwhelming me lately.
My husband simply wasn't present, even when he was. To be fair, he worked a job where we traveled at least a week a month, but on top of that when he was home, he wanted to "relax" instead of help.
It was time for reinforcements.
Luckily for me, my mom agreed to come down for a couple of weeks - the problem was she had to tie up some things at home and would not be here until the weekend.
Knowing help was coming was a bit of relief but I need more.
As I was trying to rally, having just got the boys down for a nap, my laptop pinged with an instant message, "Hi, friend, how is maternity leave? Need anything?"
As if he could read my mind, the message was from Greyson, my close work colleague. And from where I sat, was the sweetest guy on the planet.
Since the boys were sleeping, and I wasn't, I decided I had time to reply, "It's harder than I thought it would be having two at home. Honestly, I wish there was a way you could help."
As I sent the message, I got a pang of guilt because deep down a part of me was hoping he'd drop everything and come to my aid.
Greyson was quick with a reply, "How about if I drop lunch off for you tomorrow? Would that be okay?"
It was such a cute and kind reply. But I still hesitated.
Greyson and I had been friends and colleagues for 10 years. He was around a fair amount between work and friend gatherings. And while our relationship was entirely platonic, I'd been craving more attention lately. And if I was honest with myself, from time to time, I thought about Greyson in more ways than a friend should.
My husband was the ruggedly handsome type but also highly aloof. Greyson, on the other hand, was cute and attentive. He had floppy, sandy blonde hair, pretty eyes, and a playful style. But more than anything it was his positive attentive attitude that won me over. Any time we talked it seemed like I was the only person in the world. The complete opposite of my husband lately.
And his affection wasn't limited to just chats. Often he would grab me a coffee on the way to work, if he saw my water was running low he'd randomly fill it up, and from time to time a piece of dark chocolate would be left by my keyboard late in the afternoon when I needed a pick me up.
Even though he was flirtatious, in all the years we'd known each other he had not even mildly come on to me.
After a moment's hesitation, I did reply, "I'd actually love that." Though I did question my own motivation in doing so. And a very surprising, gentle tingling between my legs betrayed my true motivations.
The talk with Greyson was a welcome diversion to my overwhelmed life and it provided a sudden surge of energy.
I had not masturbated or even thought of sex in months but something instantly awakened my drive. It passed quickly though as I channeled my renewed energy to help me sweep through the day.
When I finally crawled into bed that night, next to my snoring husband, it was Greyson and masturbation that came to mind. And even though I truly needed sleep, I surprisingly realized I was also incredibly horny.
My husband was out to the world and I wasn't all that interested in waking him up anyway. We hadn't had sex in many months and this didn't seem like the time to change that.