Imagination

Imagination is at the core of our sex drive. Remember dreaming about what the first time would be like? And thinking about what it would be like to be with the girl/guy in your third period history class. Or what it would be like to be with the older man/woman in the neighborhood? Before your first time, all of the fantasy of how terrific it would be? Our imagination drives us to more and more sexual exploration.

In our case, we first made love as teenagers after teasing ourselves for months of intense passion just stopping short, always wondering what it would be like to go all the way. When we finally did, it was several times a day, every day that we could get together in every position imaginable in every location imaginable. We also got caught several times .. twice in the car, once in the woods on the picnic blanket, once in the fog on a park bench, once by her sister (who had watched for 20-30 minutes before we saw her). This was so much fun that after we were married, we would do it in semi-public places just to relieve the excitement of our youth.

Like others, imagination continued to play a role in our married sex play. Who hasn't occasionally thought of someone else while having sex? Or imagined someone else having sex with your partner? Like everyone else, we had several divorced relatives, friends and neighbors but were sure that we would stay married forever. Knowing that infidelity had been an issue with many of these couples; we discussed the possibility that we might be tempted to stray sometime over the next 50 years. We took what we thought was a very mature attitude that if might happen but that it would be no big thing knowing that we were there for each other in the long run. We also made a pact that we would be open and honest with each other if and when such a temptation were to arise.

Our first test of this was with a friend of mine that she had always found attractive and often flirted with. I had teased her about her apparent desire to seduce him and she had responded with how silly that was. Never the less, this teasing always lead to intense love-making for us as we imagined what such an affair would be like. He moved out of the country during our first year of marriage but kept in touch with the occasional birthday card and postcard. He did return home for Christmas that first year so we had him over for dinner. After dinner, conversation and much wine, she caught him under the mistletoe and gave him a long, passionate kiss. He said that he now knew why he was so jealous of me. Now my imagination really took off as I fantasized them making love. After a while, I made up an excuse to go to the store to get something and told them not to do anything I wouldn't do!! All of the time I was gone, I visualized them necking and more. When I returned, I looked through the blinds and saw them on the couch kissing. I thoroughly enjoyed this for several minutes and then went to the door, making enough noise to alert them to my presence. Sure enough, when I entered, he was on the couch and she greeted me at the door. She was so radiant, cheeks glowing, breathing deeply and a little disheveled. We went into the kitchen and I asked her what they talked about while I was gone. She said that they had danced some, did I mind? "No, but I must have looked through the window after you finished dancing." She said "Oh, you said don't do anything that your wouldn't do" with an impish little grin. I asked if she wanted to finish seducing him? "God, I'd love to but…?" We then went out and invited him into the bedroom. Our imaginations took over for the next several hours.

The next day we couldn't believe that we, with no experience with anyone except each other, had had a threesome. Awesome. This one night lead to months of increased passion.

A couple of years later, when she had returned to college, she told me of a guy in a couple of her classes that she could be interested in. I encouraged her to explore and she kept me appraised of relationship ultimately including detailed accounts of his seduction of her in his camper in the school parking lot and the many times after that until she grew bored and broke it off. I too had a couple of brief affairs that we were completely open about, but I frankly found that extramarital affairs were a lot of trouble for some brief thrills while I was getting great sex at home.

After sowing our wild oats like this in our 20's, we settled into a conventional marriage for the next many years. We did find that if my rod needed a little stiffening, all we had to do was recall the threesome or her college affair. We would occasionally go all night on these relived fantasies. About the time we turned forty, I found that I had more difficulty getting it up, probably due to stress, aging, boredom .. who knows. We resorted more and more to our imaginations to resolve this. Not only the recollection of these previous adventures but we would try to invent some new fantasy. Unfortunately, her fantasies lacked detail i.e. she would say I meet a tall, dark & handsome stranger, he kissed me and then we made love…end of story. Not quite enough to get turned on to.

One night we are lying there and I am stuck at about half-mast. I said, it is too bad that you haven't had any affairs since college. She said, "Well, there was my little old lover". "This is interesting, tell me more." It seems that he had been coming onto her for years and she had brushed it off. "What made you change your mind?" Oh, I don't know. "When and where did you get together?" I would have him over to my office after the last client had left. This differently had my interest and we made love several times that night. She had developed a knack for inventing detail .. or had she really had an affair without telling me? Surely I would have had some suspicion…

Each night after that she would elaborate more. And we were making love like bunnies. It seems that they had gotten together 2-3 times a week for over a year. This fantasy was becoming real. Her imagination was like it had never been before. I even began to wonder if it had really happened. On a Friday night she told me that they had sometimes left both of their offices and meet at a motel. The La Quinta Inn near the airport. I couldn't place it so she said the one with Lyon's across the parking lot. Oh, that one! That Monday, after work, I went to the La Quinta and asked to see a room. It was just like she had described it. The round table, leather chair, make-up table and mirror, décor, etc.

I told her that night that I had been to the motel and that it was just like she had described. Was the affair real? Maybe. When did it end? Early this year. And I never suspected. Awesome. As the nights went by, she told me more. We hadn't had sex like this for years. I loved it.

Why hadn't she told me? It turns out that it was her business partner who I never really liked so she kept it to herself. But he is 65 and you are 41! I guess there is hope for senior sex. It seems that his wife had cut him off 10 years earlier. He had fallen head over heals in love with my wife when he first meet her 4 years ago and had been flirting non-stop ever since.

So what made her decide to go beyond flirting? She wasn't sure. Boredom, flattery and a developing friendship based on the business. The first time was in his office in the City after hours. As he often did, he was giving her a neck and shoulder massage and telling her how beautiful she was. She said that when he finished, with no forethought, she got up and gave him a deep, wet kiss. Her pulse began to race, she felt a warm glow all over and she just melted. Her legs were so shaky that she led him to his leather couch and fell into his arms. He slowly undressed her and made love to her lovely breasts for a long time. Eventually they both got completely undressed and made love on the couch until after 8pm. Apparently I was working late that night and she got home just a few minutes before me. After that they made love after work almost every night but they were careful to not be so late as to create suspicion.

This affair has been over for almost a decade but it left a lot of wonderful imagined visuals to add to memories of our earlier adventures. I can still visualize her young body (120lbs, pale, freckled, red hair) energetically making love to our friend, her naked rocking her college friends camper in the school parking lot, and now many detailed visuals of her and her "little old lover" satisfying her now somewhat Rubenesque body. His bald little head buried between her thighs, his nose poking through her dark red pubic hair, she perched on the hotel make-up table with her legs wrapped around his waist, them always showering together before and after, them on her office couch, bent over her desk, on the floor in every room of her office. Wow. We still draw on these images when we need a little stiffening. Recently, I have asked her about the younger, African-American man in her employ. She just smiles and says, "use your imagination" and I do.