I'm Not That Stupid

"What," I said snapping my head around to look at my wife Carol. "What did you just say?" I asked not believing what I thought I had just heard.

"Dan, I know you're going to be mad, but I'm not happy right now, and I'm thinking of us getting a trial separation; so I can get my head together and figure what I want," Carol told me as I stood on the deck cooking steaks on the grill. "My friend Karin has a spare room and she said I could stay with her for the time being."

"When were you going to tell me Carol, or were you just going to leave me a note on my pillow tonight," I said a little louder than he probably should have.

"Don't raise your voice Dan, I don't want Andy to hear what we're talking about," Andy being our six year old son. "I knew you'd react this way, that's why I didn't want to bring it up until tonight."

"So in other words, you've already made up your mind to leave; are you going to tell Andy or are you going to leave it to me after you're gone," I said in a sarcastic tone.

"I'll tell him myself tonight, before bed," she replied. "This isn't permanent you know."

"Ya right, your moving in with that tramp Karin; I guess I should have seen it coming," I told her getting more angry by the minute. "I'll draft up the paperwork tomorrow, you can sign it, and I'll get it filed with the court by Wednesday Carol."

"What paperwork?" was her reply.

"Well, if your going to leave, I want it to be a legal separation, that way when you don't come back, it will automatically turn into a divorce decree; this way we won't have to go through all the hassle twice," I told her.

"I don't want a divorce Dan, only a little time to myself, to sort out a few things, that's all honey," Carol replied.

"Bullshit Carol," I spat back at her. "I've asked you to talk to me for the last four months, but you've been too busy with Karin and your new friends to make the time. Now you want to move in with your new buddy Karin so you can do, what you have probably wanted to do for the last six months," I now yelled. "But you're not going to do it with my blessings, and I'm certainly not going to stand by and become a cuckold by you, or anyone else," I said slamming the top down on the grill.

This was not going the way Carol had anticipated. She knew Dan was going to be angry, but she thought she could convince him, that this would be a growing experience for the both of them; but now, it had blown up in her face.

"Dan please," was all Carol could get out before he stormed off in a huff, leaving her to tend the grill. Taking the steaks of the grill, and putting them on the counter she went looking for him. She found Dan upstairs, in their bedroom. He was in the process of literally throwing all her clothes and everything else of hers into the spare bedroom.

"Take your shit and move the hell out, I don't care anymore," I screamed at her. "I'll send the paperwork to your office, sign it, and get it back Keith," the lawyer Dan had been using for the past six years. "Don't worry, I'll take Andy out to dinner so he doesn't have to watch his mother abandon him," I said grabbing my coat and son before heading out to my car.

"Karin, this is Carol," she started. "Dan didn't take it well, not well at all, and is threatening me with divorce," Carol said starting to get more than a little teary eyed.

"I told you he wasn't going to be happy, but he'll come around soon, so don't worry," Karin told her over the phone. "Hell in a couple of weeks, he'll be begging you to come back, and then you will have him right where you want him."

"I hope your right Karin, because right now, he's ready to chuck me out the door and start divorce paperwork," she said hesitantly. "I need some time away, but I don't want to end my marriage either," Carol told her.

"I'll be right over and help you with your stuff," Karin told her. "The sooner you are on your own, and away from him, the sooner you can figure out what you really want."

With that said, Karin drove over and helped Carol packed up the majority of her stuff and was out of the house before Dan and Andy got back.

I had seen this coming for quite a while. Carol and I were both accountants, and had met eight years ago while we were both auditing a company that had gone chapter seven. Each one of us were representing a different bank, which had a monitory stake in the failed company. We worked together and ended up having lunch and dinner, with each other almost every night. It took us a full week to complete the audit, and by then we found that we really liked each other.

Carol was about 5'6", brown hair and about 175 pounds. She had a beautiful face but was a little chunky. Dan was about 5'8" tall, about 195 and at twenty-two already had a spare tire around his middle, from eating out every day; these two geeks were made for each other.

We were married four months later, and Carol found herself pregnant eight months after that. Carol had a tough pregnancy and was bed ridden the last five months, and such gained a ton of weight. By the time she gave birth to Andy, she'd ballooned to almost 250 pounds.

I however, never said a word; I loved her no matter what her weight was. We were a happy family, until Carol heard two of her coworkers talking about her.

"She's such a good looking women," one girl said to the other. "Too bad she's as big as a house. I wonder if she has her clothes custom made at Omar the tent makers dress shop," she said laughing out loud. They may have thought it was funny, but Carol didn't.

Carol was crying in the bathroom when Karin walked in. "You all right Carol?" she asked.

"Everyone thinks I'm a fat pig," she said crying. "If they only knew how hard it was for me to lose weight, they wouldn't be so mean," she sobbed.

"Girl look, all you need is to be put on a good diet and enroll at a gym," Karin told her. "You are a beautiful girl, hiding underneath all that flab; that's all. You just need to make your mind up, and do it;" and that's what Carol did.

I did the books for a local gym and got us a great membership deal, so we joined the following week. The gym had an in house nursery, so we were able to bring Andy with us after work when we both went.

Carol was a woman possessed, and worked out six days a week while I could only fit in maybe three nights per week. When the pounds didn't just fall off, Carol went to a doctor and got a prescription for diet pills. I wasn't happy about it, but Carol was on a mission to lose weight.

Eight months later, Carol was a slim 125 pounds and looked fantastic. She bought a whole new wardrobe and everyone, including the men at her work, said she looked great; that's when the trouble started.

We were at Carol's company Christmas Party when the shit hit the fan. Carol wore a dress that was more than a little reveling, and was being hit on all night, by her male co-workers. She was, in seventh heaven, with all the attention she was receiving. When a bunch guys caught her under the mistletoe, she must have kissed a dozen, before I came over and put a stop to it. Carol had probably had one too many drinks, and never realized the guy's hands were all over her, while they grabbed a kiss.

I took Carol by the arm and told her it was time for us to leave; now. She didn't want to go just yet, and made a bit of a scene.

"Carol I'm leaving right now with or without you," I finally told her. She relented but I could tell she was pissed. On the way home we had a huge fight.

"Carol, you were acting like some kind of cheap tramp tonight. Me, along with everyone else, watched those guys put their hands all over your body; and you did nothing to stop them," I yelled.

"It was just a little innocent fun that's all; no big deal," she replied.

"Not from where I stood," I told her. "How would you like it, if I was all over some girl; kissing and grabbing at her," I asked, but I knew she was too drunk to listen to reason at that point.

Carol got sick that night, luckily she had removed her new dress before she tossed her cookies. She looked like hell the next morning and apologized to me, saying it would never happen again; but it did, it's just that I wasn't around the next time.

Carol started stopping after work, on Wednesdays, for a girl's night out. There were seven girls, some married and others not, who would stop for a drink or two at Tony's; after work. It started off that she'd be home by 6:30, but soon it stretched to 7:30 and finally to almost 9:00 pm. By the time Carol got home, Andy was in bed, and I was not in the best of moods.

When they first got married, we had screwed like teenagers and couldn't get enough of each other. Now it seemed, if we did it once a week that was a lot. One thing for certain, when Carol came home on Wednesday nights, she was hot to trot; and tonight was no exception.

Neither one of us had what you would call a lot of sexual experience, when we first got married; and were a little apprehensive to try any new things from the get go. We learned, from each other, what each one of us liked, and through a few x-rated moves, we added a lot things to our repertoire. Now however, every week when Carol got home, she seemed to want to try something new and exciting, most of which I wondered where she'd gotten the idea.

When we got married, Carol couldn't give a blowjob worth a shit; but then, even a bad blowjob was better than no blowjob at all. Tonight she came out of the bathroom totally naked and asked, "Where is my stud muffin?"

She'd had more than a few drinks and was later than normal; but she knew how to get me into a good mood. She climbed up from the foot of the bed, between my legs, pulled my boxers off, and proceeded to give me the best blowjob she could.

"I'm just over six inches, so Carol had no trouble deep throating me. Carol likes it when I trim my pubic hairs, because she said the hairs tickle her nose; especially when she deep throated me. She's learned to use just enough spit and hand action to get me rock hard, but still refuses to let me shoot into her mouth; but maybe one day she reconsider," I thought to myself. She was already dripping when I rolled her over and started going down on her; before she stopped me.

"Just take me tonight hon, I just need to feel you inside of me," she said.

I did the best I could. Not wanting to shoot off to early, I thought about my mom, my new audit proposal; anything so I would last a couple of minutes longer before dropping my load. Carol seemed to enjoy it, as she screamed like I was killing her. I finished up doing her from behind and shot my hot load into her pussy as Carol slumped onto the bed.

"God damn, I needed that" she told me. "But I think I'm going to be sore for a week," she said with a laugh rolling onto her back. I crept up, kissed her and told her how happy I was, being married to her. Well, that is the way it use to be until this week.

After dinner Andy and I came home to an empty house. "That bitch Karin," I thought to myself. "Ever since Carol lost that weight, Karin's been on her to do this or that with her; no wonder her husband left her. She was nothing but a tramp, and is now turning my wife into one also."

I got Andy ready for bed, tucked him in and read him a story. When he asked about his mother, I just told him that, "mommy was visiting and would be home in a couple of days," but I didn't believe it for a minute. I went down stairs, called my mom and brought her up to speed. "Mom, can you watch Andy during the day until I can find someone permanent?" I asked.

"Honey, Carol will come to her senses and be back by the end of the week, you know her, she can't be away from Andy more than a few hours before she goes nuts," mom told me. "But I'll be over before you go to work and watch him." I hoped she was right, but I wasn't as sure as my mom.

On Monday I contacted Keith and told him that Carol had left me. "I want to make sure I'm totally protected, including having permanent custody of Andy. I want it written up and spelled out in no uncertain terms, that if either one of us acts in a way a married spouse shouldn't, the other gets a 65/35% split of the assets. I think she is looking to cheat on me and I want to be covered," I told Keith. "I want it to have a sixty day expiration date, after which it becomes a divorce decree; and can you get it done by tomorrow?" I asked.

"Aren't you jumping the gun a little Dan? She just left, and you're ready to write up divorce papers," he asked me.

"Carol's been planning this for a while, and maybe this will bring her to her senses, if not, I don't want to lose all I've worked for just because she wants to try out some new cock," I told him.

"Alright Dan, I'll get it done today and have her served at work tomorrow, anything else?"

"Not that I can think of, I just need to draw a line in the sand so she understands what she stands to lose, that's all. Also Keith, I will need two other agreements made up but we've got a little time on those, I'll fax you what I want later in the week."

When Carol got to work Tuesday she was a little bummed. This is the longest she'd been away from Andy and Dan in the last eight years. Coming back from lunch, she was told a man was waiting in her office.

"Carol Spencer?" he asked.

"Yes, I'm Carol, what can I do for you?" she replied.

"You have been served," he said handing her a manila envelope.

Carol spent the next half an hour, going over all the conditions and property divisions outlined in the separation decree; although it read more like actual divorce paperwork. It stated that Dan would have temporary, but full custody of Andy, but Carol would be allowed visitation; with reasonable notice. By the time she was done reading it, she was more hurt than angry.

"I've been gone for two days, and Dan's already written off our marriage," she said to herself.

She tried to reach Dan but his secretary said he was out for the day and his cell went right to voice mail. Dan was at this moment, at home changing the locks, taking care of splitting their finances and taking Carol's name off his insurance and 401K.

By four o'clock I was done with all my business and turned on my cell phone. "Shit" I said to myself, "twelve messages from Carol," I deleted them all.

I had dinner with Andy at my mother's house, and told her what I'd done.

"Carol's going to be mad as hell Dan, I would be if I was in her shoes; how far do you intend to take it?" she asked.

"All the way mom," I replied. "I can't fix this marriage by myself, especially since she won't listen to reason, so I've upped the stakes. She started this mess, but by God, I'll finish it if I find out she has been cheating on me. I use to trust her, but right now I wouldn't believe a word that comes out of her mouth. So right now, I'm protecting my son and myself. If we do get back together great; if not, I'll hold all the cards."

"Son, I've never seen this side of you, remind me never to get on your bad side," my mom said with a laugh.

Carol stopped at her house and tried to use her key. "What the hell," she said to herself before noticing it was a new lock; "damn him." She opened her cell and tried Dan's number again, like before it went to voice mail; so she left him another message.

"Everything's now done and in place," I thought to myself as I looked at my check list; "now all I can do is wait."

Carol was at Dan's office Wednesday morning. "My credit cards won't work, and when I went to pick up my prescription, on the way to work, they told me I no longer had insurance; do you hate me that much Dan?"

"Just covering my bases Carol, remember, you walked out on me. I'll pay for all the household expenses and Andy, but you will have to take care of your own from now on, that way we won't have any financial issues to argue over."

"Dan your letting this get totally out of control," Carol now shouted. "I just needed a little time to myself, that's all."

Leaning over my desk I said in my most serious and deadpan tone; "Carol, do you see the word stupid tattooed across my forehead? I may not be the most savvy guy in the world, but I wasn't born yesterday. Karin has got your head so turned around; you can't seem to find your ass with both hands. You think you can go out and act like you're single again with out any consequences; think again. The first time I find out you've broken your marital vows, we done. Shit, you've probably already done it, so I don't even know why we're having this conversation right now. I'm so angry at you right now I can't see straight, so I think it would be best if you just leave, so I don't say anything that will put what's left of our marriage in the toilet," with that I sat down.

Carol was shocked and got angry herself. "You can't dictate to me like I'm a little child, I'm an equal partner in this marriage, so screw you," she spat at me.

"Well that hasn't happened much in the last six months either, but I suppose your getting all you can handle now on the side anyway," I said just loud enough so Carol could hear. With that she turned tail and walked out.

I knew that she hadn't done anything yet, but had been close. You see, I had started to have her followed on Wednesday's about a month ago. There was a lot of pecks and hand play but that's all the further it had gone. I knew she would be temped, living with Karin, so I wanted to make sure that Carol understood exactly what would happen if she cheated on me; but my life was unraveling.

The first two weeks were tough. Carol made it a point to visit Andy but never said more than two words to me. I still had her followed but not much new happened. She was still going out with Karin and her friends, but instead of just Wednesdays, she was out at least four nights a week.

"Looks like someone is trying to make up for lost time," I said to myself looking at the report. I did however find a nanny of sorts to take care of Andy; a girl just out of college who couldn't find a job.

Beth was twenty-three, blonde, about 5'9" and had a slight build. She'd gotten her degree, but could find only part time work so when she saw my ad for a nanny she jumped at the chance. Beth had come from a large family and knew how to take care of, and handle young boys; she had two younger brothers. So we came to an agreement on pay and hours; and she moved in the following day.

Beth worked as a waitress at a mid- priced family restaurant on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday evenings; the other nights we all ate together. After a few weeks, Andy became very at ease with Beth, especially when she read to him before bed.

"Beth, I really appreciate you going the extra mile with Andy. With his mother out of the picture, for the moment, he needs all the stability in his life I can give him," I said with the best smile I could muster.

"I know about you and your wife, your mother filled me in on all the details in case Carol came over and tried to grab him," Beth told me. "I just can't believe she'd just walk out on you like that. I've only know you for a short time, but your one of the most caring men I've ever met, and I can see you love Andy to death."

"I guess Carol got confused at what was really important, and let others convince her that the grass was greener on the other side of the fence," I replied. "Well, it'll be over one way or in another forty days, and it can't come too soon for me."

Little did I know, my life would take a major shift and that shit would hit the fan in less than a week.

You see, I am a silent partner in the accounting firm I work for. I've brought in so much new business, over the last two years; the owners made me a 15% partner. I asked that it be kept secret, because I didn't want to be known as one of the owners. In that way, I could find out what the employees really thought of the company, and how it was being run.