When I decided to step outside of my relationship, I wasn't feeling appreciated by my boyfriend. He has an aggressive temper, and he spent more time watching porn and video games than showing me attention. He'd get irritable with me over small things, like leaving a McDonald's wrapper in his truck by accident, and despite ten months together, it felt like things were becoming tenser.
We were less connected than ever before, and I'd recently been thinking about other men when I touched myself. No one in particular, but just feeling like I wasn't being touched by him the way I wanted to, and my fantasies had shifted from fantasies of him to random men, or some guy I'd seen throughout my day that looked at me like I'm beautiful. I'd cheated before in other shorter term problem relationships, but all of my long term relationships I'd been completely faithful. I just know that I worship my man, and deserve a certain level of respect, and if a man isn't good to me then something inside me yearns for someone to treat me well. I'm a good looking girl who gets lots of attention, 5'4" tall, 32c-23-34, long brown curly hair, green eyes. I don't have time to waste on guys who put me on a shelf.
So when an old friend who was in the Army got in touch with me, I felt excited to have someone to talk to. I wasn't thinking of anything happening between us, but in hindsight I sort of asked for it.
My boyfriend, Steve, wasn't all bad. I was 29, and he was 35. I still found him sexy to look at, with his construction-worker body, full of definition. Even his slight beer gut was cute and manly. Steve was drinking a lot lately, though, and it felt like maybe this was just a flash in the pan relationship—-intensely passionate at first, and then fizzled and dead. Our sex was hit or miss, but I still loved his body and his smell, and I even understood how locked up he was inside with emotions. He'd had a pretty rough childhood with emotional abuse and violence, and at first he'd seemed eager to open up and talk about what was going on inside of him, but lately there'd been a huge wall that I couldn't climb over.
He wanted lots of blowjobs lately, which I initially gave him on command in an effort to make him happy. Sometimes more than once a day. And even without being asked, I would suck his cock when he came home from work and I could see he had a lot of stress. I've always loved having a cock in my mouth, and the intensity the man feels transmits to me so that I can literally cum from sucking a cock and touching my pussy, and I'll be totally satisfied. My issue was division of labor. When was the last time he'd eaten me out, you ask? Four months ago!
My friend Miko had just come back from spending time in Afghanistan, and thankfully hadn't had any problems there. He's a break dancer, so his troop went over there to entertain the other soldiers. That's actually his job in the Army—to breakdance! Apparently the Army has tons of musicians and other entertainers whose job it is to just keep up the troop morale.
Miko used to be my sister's friend, so he was only 25. He and I had spent enough time together that we formed our own actual friendship a few years ago. All of us grew up in Upstate New York, in the country, and he was this cool, hip black guy who somehow blended in fine with almost everyone, letting the local racism roll off of him. He'd gone into the army two years ago, then did his tour in Afghanistan, and was back at Fort Drum now, only a half hour from my town.
Since Steve was at work for four more hours, I actually had time to text with Miko without feeling like Steve was going to look over my shoulder or demand to see my phone. I asked Miko all about his time and we texted back and forth playing catch up.
When he asked if I was in a relationship I told him yes. Then he asked if I was happy. I hesitated before responding, not sure if I wanted to open this can of worms. I prefer to keep conversations light, and I'm the type of girl who doesn't want to talk much unless I'm doing well. I certainly don't want to drag anyone down into my misery, except my closest girlfriends.
'It's ok', I replied.
'I asked if ur happy,' he wrote.
I stared at my phone nervously, as I had to admit to myself that I couldn't say 'yes' to that question.
'I guess not,' I texted. 'But we r working on it.'
'Meet me,' he said.
'I can't.'
'You can, and you will.' I'd already told Miko that I had nothing to do today, but I hadn't meant that as an invitation.
'Not gonna cheat on my boyfriend.'
'Look Aurora, I never asked you to. I feel protective of you, and you need a friend. Texting sucks only slightly less than talking on the phone.'
I thought about it and decided it was okay to meet my friend. Steve gets super jealous of any guy in my life, except my gay friend. He gets jealous of the girls, too. If he knew I was meeting Miko, he'd definitely break something in the house to make his point.
I asked where we should meet, and Miko said McDonalds in Adams, which was cool because we all used to get ice cream there as teenagers and then drive to the creek and hang out.
I felt a nervous sort of excitement come over me as I got ready. I put on my makeup and fussed with it, and then didn't like my outfit and tried on more. Why was I so nervous and wanting to impress Miko? We'd had plenty of opportunities to hook up if we wanted to, but nothing had ever pulled us that way. And yet here I was, feeling giddy and preening for him. I told myself I just wanted to feel pretty and be complimented, but I definitely pushed the envelope of 'pretty' into the 'slutty' folder!
When I walked out my door I looked like I was going to get fucked! I had 2.5 inch heels on to give me a little more height next to Miko's 6'1" frame. I had sneakers with me in case we decided to take the trail down to the creek. But that's where practicality ended: my bra was black lace and you could see my C cups under my see-through black blouse. I had a short, dark blue stretch skirt with a slit, and black thigh-high stockings. When it bounced or swung, you could see my thighs. After endless fussing and not being able to control my hair, I'd pulled it back into a ponytail with a blue google to minimize frizz. Red lipstick and lots of black eyeliner with a hint of blue around it to accentuate my sea blue eyes and blue skirt.
Anyone who saw me would think 'that girl wants dick'! But I wasn't even trying to send off that vibe. I was just lost in my own panic trying to look good, not too sexy, but sexy enough to get noticed. And I wanted quirky, too, thus the last minute stockings and white dangly earrings that looked like ivory but weren't.
Miko was already waiting at McDonalds when I got there, but to his credit he hadn't texted or chided me for being ten minutes late. He drove a black Jeep wrangler, and he stepped out of it when I pulled in next to him. Wow had he filled out! His tight white shirt hugged his body and showed the definition of his pecs and shoulders. Even the cut of his abs occasionally pressed against the fabric. He wore tight blue jeans, and they left little to the imagination for a girl who pays attention.
I felt like I was tripping down the sidewalk as I crossed the space to him, and the way he looked at me made me nervous although his smile was so sincere that I wanted to keep looking at it. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me off of my feet, his hands grabbing my ass to hold me up, and me wrapping my legs around him for stability. "Oh, Rori I missed you!" he said. "You look absolutely delicious!"
He set me down, though not after I'd felt his firm body pressing against mine and letting me know how toned everything was.
"You look amazing!" I said, eyeing him up and down. "Just, so good. Where'd all these muscles come from?"
Miko laughed. "Been lifting a lot. Not much else to do. Did lots of bouldering in Afghanistan."
