This is just a little note to my favorite "Annie" who likes to point out that I write the same stories over and over again. You know, the nice guy husband gets cheated on but makes a nice comeback with his second wife while the cheating wife either gets hers or doesn't. I'm not going to tell him he's wrong. This is a hobby for me, so I write what I enjoy writing. If you don't enjoy reading my stories... then don't. Simple as that.
Or... here's two challenges for you: first, grow a pair and pick an ID. Second, under that ID, write your own stories and post them.
Yes, another story that's been done before by multiple authors. Three of the best of this story have been done by Nici, Cinical and Cagivagurl.
Ken Jennings had just read a question in the "Hodgepodge" category on Jeopardy when my wife mumbled something that I hoped I didn't hear correctly.
"Pardon me?" I asked in a halting voice as I shifted my gaze from the television to my wife of 25 years.
"I said I've been having an affair with Tony Green for the last year."
My stare turned into a glare as I continued looking at her. My brain replayed her statement.
"What the fuck are you talking about? You've been fucking Tony Green for a year?" I yelled.
She jumped in her seat one place away from me on the sofa. Tears sprang up in her eyes and her delicate hands balled up into fists. I wondered if she was going to start sobbing or attack me.
"You don't have to be crude about it. Yes, Tony and I have been intimate for about the past year," she said in the voice she used when she was trying to be official.
"Crude? Oh yeah, I have to be crude about it, bitch! You've just told me you've been cheating on me. Did you expect me to be civilized like some English nobleman? 'Let's put on the kettle and talk about this,'" I whined at a high volume.
She rolled her eyes at me, which she had to know would incense me even more.
"If you can't speak civilly to me, I guess we don't need to continue this conversation."
She started to rise from her spot, but I grabbed her arm and shoved her back down. That was the closest I'd ever come to hurting her, and for the first time I could see real fear in her eyes.
"You will sit there and we will continue this conversation, regardless of how I speak to you. You've just blown up my world, so you don't get to dictate my civility... unless you're ready to be looking for a different place to sleep tonight.
"Now... start making sense... you cheating slut."
She wrung her hands and looked around the room, carefully avoiding my eyes. She looked... terrified. Frankly, I was terrified, terrified that I might actually do her real physical harm. I was on the verge of hitting a girl for the first time since I punched Susan Mang in kindergarten for stealing my red crayon from my Crayola box.
"I-I have been seeing Tony Green for a little over a year now, and we've been intimate for about the last 12 months. I had to tell you, because the guilt has been killing me," she said quietly, finally looking into my eyes as she finished what I assumed was her confession.
"Wait. Wait. Wait. You had to tell me because the guilt has been killing you, not sorrow for cheating on me? What the fuck am I missing here, Traci?"
"I... umm... I'm not sorry for cheating on you, RJ. I'm sorry I kept it from you for so long. I didn't have the courage to tell you... because I'm not going to stop, at least for a while."
I got up from my spot and sat in the La-Z-Boy across the room, figuring that putting distance between us physically would decrease the chances of me physically assaulting the stupid bitch.
"I love you with all my heart and soul, RJ, but Tony has given me something that I didn't realize I needed, and I'm not ready to give that up anytime in the near future. It's not anything you've done wrong. It's that I've found something out about myself, and I want to keep exploring this."
I was pretty sure there wasn't enough Alka-Seltzer in the world to cure my sudden indigestion... or was this the way it felt when someone ripped your heart out of your chest while you're still alive... at least for a few more minutes. Yet as bad as my stomach felt, my brain suddenly felt like it was slowing to a crawl. I heard the words. I understood the words. But I was struggling to process what they meant in real time.
"How can you tell me you love me right after you tell me you've been cheating on me and are going to continue to do so?" I queried. "You cheating on me certainly isn't loving me..."
"My not telling you for so long was because I love you," she interrupted. "I knew this would hurt you terribly, and I didn't want to do that."
"Obviously, I didn't have a clue about your affair, so why did you tell me after a year? To rub it in my face that you got one over on me, or to brag that you could attract somebody better... somebody more handsome, more well-built, maybe having a bigger dick. What the fuck, Traci," I said.
"I felt guilty about going behind your back. I knew I needed to tell you so I... could feel better about myself."
"So dropping this bombshell on me is all about you being able to feel better about yourself, despite the fact that you're a cheating slut? You can't be fucking serious."
"But I am serious. Now that you know, it won't be cheating anymore."
Her smile was as innocent as that of a virgin sitting on a swing in a pristine garden. Somehow, she really believed the bullshit she was trying to sell me. What happened to the woman I married a quarter-century ago? Up until a few minutes ago, I would have said she was sitting next to me on the sofa; now I was pretty sure she had been replaced by some alien.