Barb Wrestles with her Decisions
This story has been in my head for quite some time. That creates a problem; I put snippets on paper here and there, and then struggle to bring the dialogue and the tenses all together into something readable.
That's where
neuroparenthetical,
a skilled and wonderfully patient editor, comes in. He really helped bring this story to life. His suggestions actually made me decide how to reformat the story to the reader's benefit, and publish in separate parts, instead of one long, hot mess. Thanks NP!
Hope you enjoy.
Relax, it's only a story people!
Barbara
Our daughter Desiree's wedding invitation arrived today. The wedding, we've all know about for some time. Somehow though, Desi had overlooked sending an invite to probably the two most important people on the guest list; her mom and dad. Mark, our oldest, is still in school, working on his Masters in Biochemical Engineering. Holding the invite in my hand, and thinking about how and where I'd met her father, has me recollecting the past. I suppose that my now ex-husband Rob's phone call asking if we could meet at his home tomorrow has plenty to do with my mindset too. It's been a long time since Rob and I have been in the same room alone together, let alone had a conversation.
That entire day was such a mixture of highs and lows. Rob and I had so much fun - which had started the night before, actually. We'd even met Billy 'the Beast' at the front desk and gotten his autograph. Then the awards ceremony came. Accepting the award, I looked out upon my children and my husband and felt their pride and love from where they stood cheering. I wanted to cry, I was so happy. It was one of the best moments of my life. I'd seen the poster board on the easel at registration. Of course I knew who Billy was. After all, he was my favorite player on my favorite team. Billy 'the Beast' Bronson was 6' 3-1/2 ", and two hundred-sixty-five pounds of solid, 100% corn fed Nebraska steer. Despite the danger from the neck down, Billy had the cutest little pug face with a scrunched up nose, and the deepest blue eyes I've ever seen on a man. Without the helmet, his curled, golden locks flowed down to shoulder length.
I read the auction announcement with great interest as the staffers at the table prepared our badges. Rob was preoccupied with something or other.
When I told him about the charity auction, he was not thrilled. But, like the great husband he is, Rob quickly realized that it was part of why we were here - why I was here - and he changed his attitude. He isn't always like that; Rob has the ability to stand his ground, and he's also a darn good negotiator. Best of all, he has the common sense to know which tack to take and when. It's just another reason I love him so.
The minute we entered the room, I was already talking myself out of it. We'd had a wonderful time so far, and we still had two days to explore as a family. What was I thinking? I only budgeted and brought $500 with me. No way would that pittance would get me a date with the all-pro linebacker. Those thoughts made me actually peruse the tables along the three walls of the small banquet room. Had there been anything of interest that Rob or I couldn't get much cheaper online, I probably would have passed on my dream to bid on Billy.
I knew Rob hadn't read the billboard; if he had, he would have strenuously objected. That's putting it mildly. Even though I had no intention of winning Billy, and definitely no plans to ever have sex with him or any other man, Rob would have been protective, not allowing me to get myself into a situation like that in the first place. Because I had no chance, I chalked it up to a little personal fantasy in my head. I'd dream later of what it would have been like to actually win a night with Billy, and to be swept away by the handsome prince.
I wasn't afraid when the power went out, but when the fire alarm sounded and the strobes came on, my first thoughts were for my children. This is a goliath of a hotel, and not knowing their whereabouts terrified me. I was a wreck. Rob tried to console me as we walked out to the designated staging area. When I saw Mark and Desiree in the lobby running up to us, I was overcome with relief.
Then the lady with the clipboard came up to us. I handed my purse to Rob and said I'd be right back. That had turned out to be the first lie of the night, although, at the time, I really thought I would be back. Backstage, the woman, Lauren, started going through the rules - what she called the 'long print.' My heart was in my throat, and I thought I was hearing her wrong. 'The Act' clause - short for an 'act of God'- stated that any unforeseen mishap involving the regulation or finalization of the bidding process would result in the last recognized bid being declared the winner. I wasn't sure if that was mine or not, and Lauren wouldn't say. But I knew I had at least a chance.
Lauren lined us up, stage left, as Billy walked past me to join the emcee. I was standing first in line! Lauren told everyone to follow the announced winner out on stage to applaud, for optics.
That damned emcee sounds like she's reciting 'War and Peace' out there. Get on with it already so I can inhale,
was what I was thinking. When they said the words "Barbara Stanton" I thought I would pass out.
I'd had so many things swirling around in my mind it almost felt like I wasn't thinking at all. The kids and my husband were not among them, even though they were somewhere right in front of me, in the crowd. I was running on pure adrenaline. Billy reached out and took my hand. Moments later, he held it up in victory as the Ides of March theme music played and the crowd cheered. The lights flashing onto the stage made it impossible to see anyone in the crowd. We were led off, stage right, with Billy still holding my hand. I had no idea we were being led out through the kitchen entrance to a waiting limo.
In the hallway, I regained some sanity. "Where are we going?" I asked Billy, or the security people accompanying, or anyone at all.
"On our date, beautiful," was all he said, while smiling.
In the limousine, Billy watched me closely as I took in my surroundings and my current state of good fortune. I could see he was amused by my facial expressions, as though similar things happened to him every day. He would prod with little questions: "Are you excited?" and "Can you believe it?" I was very quiet, which was odd since I'm no introvert. I just couldn't get my head around what was happening.
We arrived at the Paris hotel for our French themed meal. Stepping out of the limo, Billy asked, "Do you want a selfie with me before we go in?" That's when I realized that my purse was with Rob. No phone, no ID, nothing. The magazine had a film crew of two that accompanied us through the hotel. They took several stills as we were seated, and staged us holding menus, as if to read them, while smiling broadly.
Finally, we were left alone to enjoy our scripted date. I felt the need to break some ice. "Will...Billy, I'm sorry I've been so out of it. I just can't believe this is happening."
Again, he seemed to consider me and my words. "It's okay. I think it's a quite common reaction. Let's try to relax, order a beverage, and take our time with dinner. I understand the martinis here are exquisite. I'm sure those photographers will keep interrupting, but we can keep them mostly at bay."
I removed the lemon slice and flower from my water glass, and then drank half of it without stopping. After my last swallow, I asked, "So, do you do this often?" I had no idea why I asked that; it was just on my mind then. It caused Billy to break out laughing, and soon I joined in. After that, I relaxed and started to enjoy the evening.
Over dinner, we talked about our lives, and our likes and dislikes. Billy talked about how he almost quit playing football in high school because of a girl he fell in love with. I talked about Rob and my children - all of our exploits and adventures as a family.