I Used to Love Her...

I USED TO LOVE HER....

(This is another Jim and Linda continuation. Hope it doesn't suck. It IS February.)

Well, baby used to stay out all night long,

She made me cry, she done me wrong,

She hurt my eyes open, that's no lie,

Tables turn and now her turn to cry.

Because I used to love her

But it's all over now.

(Rolling Stones. Written by Bobby and Shirley Womack.)

Jim walked away from the club. He was in a state of shock at what his wife had done to him and his children. He walked slowly along, trying to calm down and consider his new situation. Immediately, and without much thought, he decided that he needed to a) see that his children suffered the least possible harm, and b) see that his wife and her seducer suffered the most possible harm, consistent with the first objective. Thinking in that way was natural for him.

He went to the hotel room and collected his belongings, leaving hers. He went to the desk and checked out, telling the guy there that his wife's belongings remained in the room, and that the cleaners could take them. The guy looked at him funny but nodded. As Jim walked away, the guy was on the phone with someone.

Jim got the car and drove home, thinking all the way about what his options were. He left the asshole aside for further consideration. By the time he got home, he had the beginnings of a plan. He doffed his dancing clothes and donned some work garb.

He went to the basement. It was basically unfinished. But it had a door to the back yard, a small bathroom with a shower, and a half-sized refrigerator. There was plenty of room for a futon sofa. He started cleaning the place out. His tools, such as they were, all went into a corner, later to be put into the garage. He used the shop-vac for about half an hour, emptied it and ran it for another thirty minutes. When he was finished with that, he used a wet mop on all the floors, and cleaned the bathroom. He opened the door to air the place out. Of course it was cold out, but he didn't really notice that. He was focused.

He went out to the garage and got a camp cot and a sleeping bag. He closed the door - finally - and slept. The cleaning had taken him until five am. He slept until eight, when the sunlight woke him.

He called his parents and asked them to pick up the kids from the sitter and keep them for a day or two. He gave them a brief explanation of the reason for the request. His parents trusted him to handle the situation. He'd always been able to be calm and think things through, even when he had every reason to be furious or frightened. In truth, they thought of him as a cold fish.

He went upstairs and got as much of his clothing and other kit as he could. Back and forth he went. The clothes were stored in an old chest of drawers that he also got from the garage. For each trip he made up and down the two flights, he also carried Linda's knitting and sewing material up to their old room. She had it stored downstairs. He needed the room. He stacked it all in his now empty closet. What didn't fit there went next to his side of the bed. Well, what once was his side.

He surveyed his old room. He was satisfied. There was nothing there that would give any indication that he had ever occupied it. He had been erased. He had erased himself.

Then he made coffee, and a list. The list was for Target. He got in the car and went there. It was ten am. He had no idea when, or if, Linda would return. He didn't give a shit, anyway.

He returned from the store before noon, with his haul. He had: a metal double futon bed, a small TV with a digital antenna, a knob with a lock and key for the door from the first floor to the basement, one for the door to the outside, and some beer, snacks and other supplies.

He unloaded the car and stashed most of the things. Then he took out the doorknob from the door to the basement and replaced it with a keyed set. That required some adjustments and took longer than he had anticipated. Then he installed a deadbolt, which could be operated with the same key. As he was just completing the chore, he heard the front door open. Then he heard Linda come through and say, "I'm back. It's the same old me."

She stopped in the kitchen doorway. He looked at her and turned to finish with the new lock.

Linda said, "What are you doing, Jim?"

He paid no attention to her.

She said, "I can understand that you're upset. I will make it up to you. We can still be the same. It was one night."

He said nothing. He didn't look at her at all.

She asked, "When are we getting the kids?"

No reply. Not even a glance.

Linda stomped up the stairs. About a minute later he heard a shriek and Linda pounded down the stairs.

She shouted, "What have you done? Where's your stuff?"

Jim was by then sitting at the kitchen table. He nodded toward the basement door.

Linda flopped down across from him. She was still wearing her fancy blue dress but was barefoot. He looked at her. She seemed unsure of herself. Frightened, even.

He said, "I'm saying this once. As of the time you left with the jerk, we are no longer man and wife. I will never have any sexual contact with you. Ever. You can screw whoever you want. So can I. But we're toast. You can't have guys in here when the kids are here. Neither will I."

"You....you need to stop this. Jesus, Jim. One night. One night."

He arose and went downstairs to the basement. She heard the snick of a deadbolt.

Soon she heard a power tool running. Jim was switching out the outer door hardware.

She also heard an old Rolling Stones song playing. As she sat there, she became aware that it was on a loop. And that told her that it was a message song. She got the message but didn't believe it for a minute.

LINDA

Linda was very sure that she could overcome any problems that her night of straying might cause in her marriage. Maybe it would take a little time. But she knew how much Jim loved her. And she knew he would not want to be separated from his children. A weekend dad.

She also knew how sexually attractive she was. Especially to Jim. But, obviously, not only to Jim.

Deep down, Linda felt that she was a beautiful woman and Jim was only above average in terms of physical attributes. He was short of six feet, and he was slim, fit and strong. But he wasn't a hunk. Like Marc was. Linda felt that she deserved one small dalliance with a man who was, at least, her equal as far as sexual attraction.

As it turned out, her night of debauchery was not all that she had imagined it would be when she left with Marc. Oh, his body was as great as advertised, and his cock was magnificent. She had a small orgasm as she was sucking him off in his living room. And she was thrilled when he picked her up and took her up the stairs into his bedroom. He tossed her onto his bed. She had lost her dress in the living room. Marc took her panties off by grabbing both sides of them and simply tearing them apart. That added to the thrill. Linda spread her legs for him. He got into position and rubbed his big dick back and forth across her belly and mons.

Then he entered her slowly.

It hurt. It hurt her for the first few thrusts. He was so much bigger than Jim. That interval of pain was the first time she had any thought of her husband. How much bigger and stronger her lover was than her husband.

That thought - about Jim - temporarily put her off her sexual high. Marc was pounding her now. His big body was fully on top of her. Her face was crushed to his neck. She wrapped her legs around him and tried to surrender to the sensations he was providing. The pain went away, and slowly she began to feel intense pleasure. The word starfucker flitted through her mind. After that she surrendered, thinking of Marc as her conqueror. It put her over the top.

It was different having an orgasm around such a large penis. More intense. Well, maybe more intense. Different. Surely....

She felt Marc coming way up inside her. She had another orgasm as she felt that. A better one.

Soon after that, he got up from her and the bed. She looked at him. He was so beautiful and strong. Her conqueror.

But she was sore. And he was flaccid. She sat up and looked around. Marc had gone through a door. She heard a shower running. She went into the bathroom. He was soaping himself. She could see through the clear glass door. It was a big shower. She opened the door and stepped into it with Marc.

He started soaping her. He washed her all over. Then she took the soap and washed him. She ended up on her knees. But he didn't really want that. He turned off the water and said, "Gotta have cleanliness, always. Let's dry off and get some food."

His cock was still flaccid. Big, but soft.

Linda had another stray thought about Jim. He would be hard as a rock now if she soaped him up as she had done to Marc. No matter how short a time had passed. Maybe, she thought, guys with large penises took longer to reinflate.

Neither of them bothered to dress. Marc took a party platter out of the fridge, and they ate vegies and dips, nachos. There was beer.

Eating took some time. Linda also took some time to look Marc over as they ate. She was mainly interested in his dick. Still soft. She wondered if he might need a pill. She'd heard about those blue pills. Jim never needed one. She tried to put thoughts of Jim out of her mind.

Linda went over to Marc, went to her knees and did her level best to stiffen him up. It took a while, but it finally worked. He moved to a couch. Linda straddled him and lowered herself onto his cock - carefully. She began bouncing on him, kissing his face. She was worked up again, but Marc's approach was.....languid. He stayed hard. That was about all she could say. She had two small orgasms, and then he came. Blah.

He shrank out of her. He said, "I need another shower, now." She followed him up the stairs, thinking that he had some Howard Hughes tendencies. She didn't go into the bathroom with him. She sat in a chair near the bed and waited.

Marc came out, again drying himself. She walked past him. He tossed her the towel. When Linda had completed her shower, she dried off and came back into the room. Marc was asleep on the bed. Naked. Soft. Well soft in the place that mattered.

Linda got into the bed, pulled the sheet over herself and tried to sleep. Not happening. She considered leaving for home. No car. She'd have to get an Uber or a cab. She dithered. And she began to wonder about her husband. Slowly the enormity of what she'd done started to sink in for her. She shivered. She sat up and looked for her phone. She went downstairs and found it in her purse, on a table near the door.

Linda looked at the phone calls. Some were from Dee. Some from her mom. None were from Jim. She looked at the texts. She read Dee's two texts. The first was a congratulatory one. But the second was worrying. It said, 'Jim left right away. He was talking bad. Divorce. Just a warning for the morning.'

He mom's text simply said, 'Please call me ASAP.' Linda wondered what her mother knew and how she knew it. She decided not to call.

She found her dress and put it on. Then she took a caftan from a chair and curled up on the couch. Maybe it was her newfound tension that tired her out. The sex certainly wouldn't have done that. She fell asleep. It was two am.

Daylight woke her at a little after seven am. She assessed her situation. She could call for transport. She had no coat, no hat, no underwear.

She went upstairs to wake Marc and try for a ride home. She had some inkling that he would want to show her off.

He was still asleep. She pushed his shoulder, and he turned over onto his back. He had a hard cock. He opened his eyes and saw her. He said, "Morning wood. Help yourself."

Linda hesitated. She slipped out of her shoes, lifted her skirt and straddled Marc. She looked directly at him as she lowered herself onto him. It still hurt at the start. Nevertheless, she persisted. Marc was getting into it. She was going to kiss him, but his breath drove her back. She fucked him while sitting almost straight up. She felt an orgasm coming and she went faster to bring it on. That worked. For both of them. She felt Marc filling her up. He lasted a long time, pulsing. So did she. It was the best of the orgasms he'd given her.

She rolled off him as he softened up. She got up, took off her dress and went for a shower. Marc came into the room but only brushed his teeth. Linda waited until he left the room. She dried off and peeked into the bedroom. He was not there. She put her dress on and carried her shoes downstairs.

Marc was eating Cheerios. Linda looked around and made coffee. The two hadn't spoken. She sat down at the breakfast table when the coffee was ready.

Marc said, "You were great. Thanks."

She smiled. "I need to get home and see if I can save my marriage."

He finished his cereal and said, "I'll give you a ride as soon as I get clean."

That took thirty minutes. Linda finished the coffee and got some cereal. Then Marc came down, dressed in jeans and a hoodie. He waved her out the door. His car was just outside, and she dove in to escape the frigid air.

It was ten am. She called Dee. Then she directed Marc to drop her off at Dee's address, three blocks from her own. He hopped out and came around to open her door. As she got out, he swept her into his arms and gave her a passionate kiss. All show. He thought it was her house and the husband would see.

Linda ran to Dee's door and Marc drove away, tooting the horn.

Dee opened the door and immediately asked, "How was it? Great I bet."

Linda just shook her head. She said, "What did Jim say?"

"He said he was going to divorce you. Wait....no he said he was going to leave you."

Linda was now completely off her sex high. And she was starting to see, to a small degree, what kind of problems she could have with Jim. But she was sure that he could be brought around. It had only been one night, after all. She knew he loved her. That was what made him the perfect husband. She was the light of his life. Well, she and the children.

Dee had brought Linda's winter coat from the club. She gave it to Linda and drove her home. Dee waved as Linda went inside.

JIM

After he finished installing the keyed hardware on the outer door, Jim made a sandwich and sat down to consider his situation. He left the Stones song on. It cheered him up some. Up to that point, he had been reacting from the gut, mostly. Now he needed to get words and structure for what he was feeling. Because he was feeling absolutely no love for the woman who had been his wife. Hate? Yes. Some. But....that wasn't as intense as it seemed that it should have been. He had worshipped her. Now?

Jim watched his emotions whirl around, like a psychedelic cloud. After some time, the whirling slowed and slotted into a new picture of his marriage. It was a very different picture than the one he had the previous day.

He saw the entire relationship very differently. He saw Linda as fully self-centered. Always out for her own comfort. Always bolstering her own ego. He was sure that she 'loved' him. But that was because of his steadfast love and admiration for her. When she looked at Jim, she saw her beautiful self in his eyes. Always.

No more, though.

The Stones record was still playing in a loop. He had put it on out of some inchoate feeling of spite. Now it said exactly how he felt. He used to love Linda. And, suddenly, that was all over. She hurt his eyes open.

Jim looked inside himself to see if there was anything left of his former feelings for Linda. The answer was 'no.'

He had meant every word of what he'd said to Linda at the table. Now he knew why he'd said it. It was his path forward.

He started to consider his children, and what might be best for them. His introspection had allowed him to see that there would be no return to the prior family relationships. The kids would surely see that their parents were emotionally estranged.

He went to his laptop and started to research children of divorce. Also, children raised in a house devoid of parental love. After three hours, he was stymied. What had happened was the new reality. And it was going to be worse for the children whether there was a divorce or not. Jim decided to consult an expert. One of the people who had contributed most to the research was a woman named Heidi Hawthorne, PhD.

He set up an appointment with her via her website. Monday at eight am. The rest of the day passed without further contact between husband and wife, except that he texted her that the kids were with his parents.

Sunday the sun rose, shining through the window facing the back yard. Jim woke as soon as that happened. He thought about what he would do with his day. He made a microwave breakfast and some coffee, using the supplies he bought at Target. He showered and dressed. The lawn needed to be mowed, and he started on that. As he completed the task, Linda waved to him from the rear deck.

He walked up, "What?"

"The kids. When will we get them?"

"One of us can go. My folks know what you did. Do you want to go?"

Linda said, "Why....? Oh, Jim, it was a mistake. I see that. A mistake. One night. We can both go get them."

He shook his head. "You or me?" His expression was totally devoid of emotion. It was as if he was looking at a stranger. Linda was again shaken by that. She'd expected tears or rage. Maybe love. Not indifference. She believed that Jim was faking that. She knew that he loved her. Always had. One night wouldn't take that away. Some time for adjustment, maybe.

She said, "I can't go by myself."

"Ashamed?"

She turned red and turned on her heel. The door to the kitchen survived the force of her slamming it closed.

Jim went for the kids at four pm. He stayed at his folks' house, talking to them about the disaster his family had become. The kids were playing in the den. His mother was in favor of trying for a reconciliation. His dad only gave a rueful smile when she said that.

The kids ate dinner at six, meatloaf and spinach. Then he hustled them into the car. He had told them that their mom was tired because she stayed out all night, so she didn't come to get them.

He stopped at an ice cream store before he went home. The spinach hadn't gone over well. They ate bowls of ice cream, then went back to the house. It was eight pm, their bedtime.

Linda came out when she saw the car. The kids ran to her, and they all hugged. They excitedly told her about their time at the Grands' house.

Jim watched. Linda was a little stiff with them, but he felt that the children didn't notice. He allowed Linda to put them to bed. At nine, she came down to the kitchen, where Jim was drinking some seltzer.

She sat at the table and asked, "Is there some way we can try to seem normal until we get back somewhere toward normal?"

Jim had thought about that. He said, "I have an appointment with a child therapist tomorrow morning. After that we can talk."

Linda nodded. She said, "Can I come?"

"No. Maybe later. Right now, I have decisions to make, and they all revolve around the kids."

Linda was teary, but not openly crying. Her voice was shaky when she said, "Jim. I love you. I was...I was overwhelmed. I apologize from the bottom of my heart."

"That's so weak. You need to start adjusting to the idea that what we had before is gone forever. I meant what I said yesterday. You and I are finished as a couple. We're simply parents of the same kids. And I have to figure out how that will work."

"You can't really mean that. We've been married ten years. Ten years versus one night. Just let some time pass. I love you and you love me."

"Not so. You ripped that out of me. Nothing of that left. When I look at you, I see you getting fucked by the jerk. I see you choosing him over me. You can go to hell."