I Shouldn't...
"I shouldn't be doing this."
"Want me to leave?"
"In a bit Dave. But what the heck, finish your wine."
"Good, I'm enjoying it--and the conversation."
"Did you get your car all the way in our garage with the door shut? Neighbors you know."
"Yeah, car's hidden. Guess I'd like another glass of wine too, if you have it."
"Coming up. I shouldn't say this, but relax. Sit on the couch for a few minutes."
"Cathy?"
"Yeah."
"I'm not sure what to do next."
"Me neither. I, er, well, we shouldn't be doing this at all."
"I said I would leave soon."
"No harm done...so far. I shouldn't be saying this, but stay just a tiny bit longer. I'm enjoying the evening---so, what would you have done next, if you were going to stay? "
"Well, as I remember from my days in college, as the great seducer of women, I would need to turn the lights down low, put on some soft music and ask you to join me on the couch?"
" Pretty complicated stuff. Ok, I shouldn't say this, but we could just act like we are going to...uh... I'm turning the lights down. Is jazz ok?"
"I love it."
"Ok, I'm sitting on the couch next to you."
"You smell so good."
"Wow Dave. You get points for that. You must have been good in college."
"So I'm doing ok?"
"Better than I expected. Oops, guess that didn't come out just right?"
"I know Jim and I heard you and Lindsey talking about us."
"Those two. What do you suppose they're up to?"
"I'm sure they're not having half as much fun."
"Agreed. Are you having fun?"
"Yes. But I'm not sure what to do again. Somehow I just can't grab you and start a mad passionate kiss."
"Remember we aren't going any further."
"Yeah, I know."
" Dave, I shouldn't be saying this, but if we were, what would you really do next if you weren't going to leave?"
"Well, if we weren't just talking, I... let's see...I notice you aren't wearing a bra, so I guess I would put out my hand and touch your breasts."
"Just like that. Not even try to kiss me first?"
"Kissing is for...I'm not sure. Cathy we're not falling in love. We're having an affair. Is that the right word? Actually we're not, but if we were, it's not cheating since Jim and Lindsey are doing the same thing and know what we are doing, or thinking of doing. So would it be an affair or a sexual encounter, or what? Anyway that's why I probably wouldn't start with a kiss. Does this make sense?
"No."
"I didn't think so."
"Anyway, now that we've agreed that we've gone as far as we're going to, tell me again, without any preliminaries, you would just reach over and touch my breasts? Not asking permission or anything?"
"Like I said, I'm out of practice. Not too cool, I guess."
"Not too cool."
"Well, I never was too good at it. Well, my wine is about gone."
"Dave."
"Yes."
"Would you like some more wine?"
"Yes."
"Dave."
"Yes."
"I shouldn't be saying this, but would you like to touch my, uh...them?
"More than anything."
"I'm really surprised. I thought you would ask me to dance or something and sort of to try to grope me. Then we'd get into some big clinch, just like you said. I just couldn't see doing that either. I don't love you. Strange, all week I was thinking it would be nice, actually, more than nice, okay, even a real turn on to...to have...ah...do it with you, but somehow kissing wasn't something I wanted. So I was kind of nervous about that. I never expected you to say you would just touch me. It's so clinical. Makes sex seem more impersonal. The passion can be there, but not the emotional attachment. All sort of reduced to the lowest common denominator. Or as you guys call it sport f'ing. "
"Cathy?"
"Yes."
"What are you talking about?"
"I don't know. We're both talking too much. Putting off decisions I guess."
"I promise I won't kiss you."
"Ah, a real gentleman."
"So?"
"So what?"
"So, do you want me to touch you?"
"Oh me. I shouldn't be saying this, but do it slowly. There's just enough light. I want to watch your hands. I'm just testing my theory of clinical sex with the emotion removed."
